To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

This has been a real eye opener.

what I really have discovered from this thread is that an 8 year old boy seems to have more empathy and understanding around the fact that a period has stopped me going swimming than a bunch of supposedly grown women.

Thanks to all of those who understand that for some of us we cannot swim with a period for a variety of reasons.

And I’m sure at one point I’ll explain to DS that some women can swim with a period. But honestly, that was not the original discussion point.

Child “can we go to Disneyland today?”
Mum “no, we can’t afford it”
Mumsnet “YABU : why can’t you afford it? Other people can afford it, now your child will think that no one can afford to go to Disneyland”

You missed "of course you can afford it, just use a different credit card".

This made me laugh! I'm astounded by the turn this thread has taken and the responses you've had, of course you should educate your son about periods. OK he might not have a wife/girlfriend as he grows but unless he lives as a hermit in a cave then he will encounter women and should have at the bare minimum a basic understanding about this bodily function.
My 9yr DD and 4yr DS know about periods, my DD more so due to her age and she will also go through it but my DS has to live with us two females so I'm normalising it in an age appropriate way.

Out of interest (and sorry if I've missed you saying this) was your MIL issue that your DS has a penis or that he's 8?

I'm with you OP! I would have explained exactly like you. Ps: No i don't swim on my period and no one can force me to.

Imagine if this thread was about having sex on your period... women can't say no can they...

I would have just said I had a stomach ache.
wouldn’t have mentioned being on my period as my 8 year old wouldn’t have had a clue what that was.

what I really have discovered from this thread is that an 8 year old boy seems to have more empathy and understanding around the fact that a period has stopped me going swimming than a bunch of supposedly grown women.

Your “lovely” MIL being one of these “supposedly grown women”. Your poor thing!

I voted you are being unreasonable, but only because my finger slipped. Of course you're not.

again.

Nothing about this scenario is about something that happens exclusively to women.

it’s. eye easy to change

just click on the one you want to change to and the tick will move over

She’s a lovely person. Because we have different views doesn’t change that

but that isn’t your stance on this thread is it.

i think there was nothing wrong with you saying “I can’t go swimming because i suffer from heavy periods. “

that was my only point. That i would have made clear that this was not a universal consequence of a period. Just that.

Why not? Genuinely, not an arsey question I just don't understand why any 8 year old wouldn't be aware of the very basics.

I did at first - sorry about that.

You don't need heavy periods. You can just not want to.

I hope that things have moved on a bit, but it took me literal years before a doctor would consider putting me on HRT. By then, I'd suffered for years - and yes, had many a holiday ruined.

I first went to see about heavy periods when I was 20 and was dismissed with "Just a teaspoonful of blood can look like an awful lot."

Oh, stop talking about things you seem to know nothing about.

"It doesn't affect ME, so everyone else must either be making things up or MEAN!"

"I will assume it's your time of the month..."

We've found the man.

Hi protectoroftherealm

no problem at all.
I don’t know really, I’m a lot older than the average mumsnetter ( 61 ) so maybe it’s a generation thing? I’d just have been embarrassed ( for both of us )
I’m glad things have changed.

I can understand that! I was worried you'd think I was being an arse!

Yes, that’s people to you. You asked a simple question: is it ok to mention that you have period today to your 7y.o. DS ? And now lots of people are debating about your choice of sanitary pads/ tampons.

I don’t go swimming when I’m on my period. I don’t feel well first 2 days. Swimming is voluntary activity, which is supposed to be fun if you are not up to it why should you go?
I think your answer was absolutely normal, you gave a reason to your son why you’ve changed plans, he accepted this fact of life that plans can be changed because of how someone feels physically and that’s the end. But it’s very modern approach. My Mum or MiL would think the same as yours, its generational thing.

I'm older than you are and it wouldn't bother me.

Because we disagree doesn’t make someone a bad or terrible person. It means we disagree

I was literally answering my son as to why we weren’t going swimming. He doesn’t need a whole rant or to be shown the bloody tampax / body form advert

So??! Does it matter?