To have told son I couldn’t go swimming as I have a period

[Bouliegirl]

This morning DS8 asked if we could go swimming. I told him no, as I have a period. But we could probably got at the weekend. He was happy enough and shuffled off

My MIL was horrified that I told him this and said that I shouldn’t be talking about periods with a male relative

Now come on. I usually nod along to your posts Math, but this, really ?

Yes, agree.

I've always been open with my DCs about periods. When they were little they were sometimes present while I dealt with mooncups or reusable pads, and it was just a normal thing that my body did. Questions were asked and answered, and topics moved in.

I'm fortunately having a phase of life where my periods are fairly managable and not restrictive by flow, pain or other effects (after a youth spent curling up incapacitated by pain on any floor going no matter how grotty). I recently got caught out by my period starting a couple of days early during parkrun, and leaking (thank goodness I was wearing a skort rather than shorts). I realised when I got to the car and my 11yo was present and pricked his ears up as I mentioned it to DH because it was fresh after a PSHE lesson. We talked about it for a few minutes, I answered any questions and we got on with our days.

He's not embarrased at this point because it's never been embarrasing or taboo. It's just something that happens to the opposite sex.
He's also had issues with his own anatomy, and it's just been dealt with honestly, scienfically, with his consent and respect and he dealt with it very well.

Being straightforward and honest is best and means that what bodies do is a normal, non-issue thing as children grow up.

So many women are so ignorant about how periods can impact other women, same with pregnancy and menopause. It appears that OP’s 8yo son understands more than many posters on here

I’m with you, op. It normalises it, makes it no big deal and nothing to be embarrassed about.

I witnessed a 21 year old bring his gf chocolate the other day, purely because she was on her period, to cheer her up. I thought it was lovely.

She didn't explain to her son that she bleeds really heavily and gets migraines as part of her menstrual experience, just gave him a blanket "I'm on my period" explanation. Off he shuffled, possibly believing that this is what all women and his female classmates experience.

Is there something wrong with you? Genuinely. I don't need you to tell me to 'relax' because some Internet weirdo has decided to try and stalk me online to see what? An opposing view of period swimming and my mass thread starting of threads where I'm a card carrying advocate to denying periods existance to all the male species? Yeah you got me....ffs 🙄 If anyone needs to 'relax' it's someone who's gone to the lengths of searching a strangers username for the only reason I can see that they pointed out how silly you sound. Weirdo

Why would I do that? He’s aware that I get migraines when I get a period. I don’t have to go into lots of details.

@mathanxiety many women on here are under the mistaken belief that all women can swim on their period.

For pity's sake...

As a fellow heavy bleeder:

1. No, a bath doesn't hold my blood in. The clots still come free in the water.

2. You're raising your son properly by letting him know why swimming is an issue today. I was very open with my DS. At age 20, he is chilled when period talk happens and has bought tampons for his younger sister when she needed them without any embarrassment.

3. Those of you who are blessed with light periods, enjoy them. Rather than criticise those of us who look like we belong in a horror movie for a few days.

4. Tell your MIL that an 8 year old will be introduced to periods next year at school probably, so you'd prefer he heard it from you first.

Solidarity fellow heavy bleeder! ✊

I wouldn't trust a tampon with my period in a pool, no way.

YANBU to be honest with your son and you’re also NBU to not go swimming, even if you aren’t on a heavy period it’s perfectly fine to just not want to go swimming when you’re bleeding!.

Tell me you've not hit 40 and the perimenopause yet, without telling me you've not hit 40.

YANBU to tell him.
it’s an every day part of women’s health. Anyone here who wouldn’t tell their children about a perfectly normal part of women’s health needs to really have a think about why they have an issue with it.

If someone had another reason they couldn’t swim eg had surgery or something like an infection-would you explain that in an age appropriate way? If yes then not explaining periods in the same way is just weird misogyny.

tell your MIL that periods are women’s health and to stop being so weird.

11% have voted YABU OP!!

why?!?

I can’t see how anyone could think you unreasonable with this

I think it's about the fact OP wouldn't swim on a period.

I'm gobsmacked at how many women are happy to admit they can't think of a reason why another woman couldn't swim on her period apart from cramps and other pain - and will announce 'I can so you can'.

It's like when people say exercise helps my cramps
Great, I'll try that when I'm not mainlining painkillers. I've had gas and air and an ambulance before for mine

Of course he should know! In a couple of years there may be girls in his class who have started their periods.

My DM was really odd about my DF knowing my periods had started. He took it better than her and would help me.

It's biology and a fact of life.

I can't believe some of the unsympathetic and down right ignorant comments on here in relation to how different women's experiences of periods are. In my youth I was a keen swimmer and my periods were managble although quite heavy and painful. Tampons were fine and I was so glad to use them and to be able to carry on at swimming club and to pass all my badges. As I aged my periods became little short of horrific, caused by two fibroids one of which was growing on top of the other. I would vomit with pain and bleed so heavily that I was changing a super plus tampon and a towel every hour or so during the first day or two. No way would I have even wanted to swim as I would sometimes be bed ridden and no way could I have managed to deal with the amount of bleeding even if I had the energy to swim. So glad those days are over!

If water held your period in you could put a little water cup around your vulva all day and then just let it out for 5mins at night. Sounds ideal

I told my daughter about my periods when she was about 3.

I agree

As I got older the pain was like contractions, I couldn't speak, wanted to vomit with pain, all caused by fibroids. No way would I have been able to be ploughing my way up and down a swimming pool!

Your MiL is stuck in the Victorian era. We spoke openly about periods with our sons from when they were tiny. They saw me changing tampons many times (when they were little, they don’t follow me to the bathroom now 😂)

I would have gone one further and explained most women can swim when they have their periods but you can’t.

These kind of conversations are much easier if you've always had them in an age appropriate way from a young age.

The mind boggles on MN, sometimes. How has the thread gone from the OP asking about whether she was unreasonable to tell her son to women shaming other women about how they handle their periods and also thinking they know how the kid will have interpreted it. This thread shows that women still get a hard time about their periods. And shockingly, from other women.😕