to not like people bringing other children who are not invited to a party?

[Youwouldntlastandh0ur]

If you were having, say, a birthday party, and you invited the children, but the parent wanted to bring the child's siblings or another tag-along friend, wouldn't it annoy you?

It would really piss me off if someone bought another child who wasn't invited with them, because my kid (unless they somehow were friends or knew each other) would barely know them and I'd think that it wouldn't be fair on said child because they wouldn't know the person whose party it is.

Probably gets worse when the uninvited ones expect party bags and food.

All the parties I had for dcs from age of 4 were drop and go...but I never had more than 8 and they were always at home. They were children who came regularly for lunch/ tea so were used to being here. I never had a whole class party. Much easier to manage.

This doesn't bother me, but I always a appreciate a heads up. We had a party back in May where parents brought their children without sending an RSVP, and then lots brought additional siblings on top of that too. If I had a heads up, I could at least cater for them. We just about had enough spare lunch boxes but it was quite tight on party bags.

Agree. I don't do two-tier parties. If siblings attend, they are treated as party guests and get a party bag.

100%

My older son has also included some younger siblings he knows from play dates and school etc.

This happened at DDs 4th birthday. I didn't mind as it was soft play and they could all get on with it, however when it came to food it has been individually packaged in lunch boxes and this older boy just ran in to the room and grabbed one. Luckily we noticed in time or one of the actual guests wouldn't have got any food. So it does matter

This I do find very rude.

Sibling No Tag along friend No

Named child is invited, noone else.

That is all.

They aren't "additional little passengers" as another poster put it. They are not invited and should not be turning up.

We've been in this situation as the guests (albeit I would never let my child grab a lunch-box meant for someone else) because the hosting parent had forgotten that my younger one (who I had asked to bring) was no longer a baby. Luckily for us, my older one is very fussy and doesn't eat much at parties so was very happy to share their lunch box with the toddler! But I can see it might be tricky with an older child.

It feels rude at the time. I generally try and give someone the benefit of the doubt, and assume they meant to RSVP but forgot.

I get quite self-conscious about it though, because I think if you run out of food or party bags, you look like a bad, or unprepared host. Other guests won't necessarily see all of the additional children that have shown up without any RSVP or a heads up.

Someone has asked 'what does it hurt?'

It hurts because extra numbers are extra cost
It hurts because it alters the dynamic of the party, especially if a single age
It hurts because parties are not free childcare/entertainment for lazy parents
It hurts because it is extremely annoying for someone to think that they are more important than everyone else and that they can ignore normal rules of invitation.

Unless it is specifically said 'siblings welcome' do not bring your extra children.

Are the people bringing additional guest bringing additional gifts too?

Sometimes when you’re a single parent you need to bring your other children when taking a child to a party, majority of parties my kids went to were at soft play type places so I could pay for my other kids (have 4) to play whilst party invitee joins party. I’ve never expected other kids to join in but I had to stay during parties due to youngest health issues but always paid and fed my other kids myself.

Why is catering for those you actually invited bad or unprepared though?

I would hate this.
The parties we have are very carefully planned and I have exactly what I need to entertain the children I have invited. Not a load of extras!
Luckily it’s never happened to me.
I just consider it to be SO rude. You don’t turn up uninvited and without asking. Just, no!

What the fuck?

When DD was much younger she had a party at an outdoor venue which involved an activity then food at a cost of £15 per head.

Two of the mums of actual invited kids (one each) came with their younger child (didn't check this would be ok first) and proceeded to get the sibling child stuck into the activity. I didn't get a chance to approach them until after food had also been eaten when I breezily said hello, hoped they'd had a lovely time and by the way you can either give me the £15 cash today or bank transfer me later. The look on their entitled faces was priceless and they did stump up to be fair. One of them was in tears after apparently as is he said I'd been "aggressive " in my manner. Was definitely assertive as she absolutely had form for this behaviour and has I not asked she wouldn't have paid. But I wasn't aggressive.

Cheeky cow

It's a no from me. Who wants x,y,z's annoying younger sibling trying to join in? The party is for your child and their friends, end of.

I have had this so often over the years. Do you mind if, he won't be any trouble, he really wants to come. Yes I do mind, yes he will be, tell him he can' t come because he is not a friend, and was not invited.

I have photos of class parties with tagged on siblings front and center. Entitled little what nots.

The venue parties with the cold burger and chips served by the bored teenagers - that's not showing off, that's ensuring your house isn't ransacked by 30 five year olds.

//

God absolutely this

Cheeky cows normally don't like it when folk stand up to them - well done!

Did the venue charge you the extra £30?

Ha.ha.ha.ha.
Nope. Not a chance.
I take it you're one of those parents.

They did as every child had to be paid for.

Must he? Or perhaps she's a single parent.

Presumably they didn't say 'yeah £x for every invited child but all the cheeky tag ons are free!'. 🫣

Fair enough then! Very cheeky of them.

How do you know that the father must be around at weekends?

It varies. The last party my son went to (village hall) his dad took him and I stayed home with our toddler. I sent a text later to thank the mum for the party and she said she'd been sad not to see our toddler there (as she was hoping for some playmates for her younger child- she'd never said!).

I have asked once before when my husband was working away, as first was too old for a drop and leave and I needed to watch both. I felt quite guilty when the mum gave them both party bags. I think it's one of those things I'd only be upset about if they didn't ask beforehand.