to not like people bringing other children who are not invited to a party?

[Youwouldntlastandh0ur]

If you were having, say, a birthday party, and you invited the children, but the parent wanted to bring the child's siblings or another tag-along friend, wouldn't it annoy you?

It would really piss me off if someone bought another child who wasn't invited with them, because my kid (unless they somehow were friends or knew each other) would barely know them and I'd think that it wouldn't be fair on said child because they wouldn't know the person whose party it is.

Probably gets worse when the uninvited ones expect party bags and food.

Except I've never seen 80% of guests turn up with an uninvited sibling, have you?

I'm planning just such a party in a few weeks. I'll cater for ten plus a few extra, same with party bags, and make sure I have a few baby friendly bits as several of them have baby siblings. No drama. We'll know some of these families until the kids finish primary school in 8 years time, I don't begrudge them a little generosity.

Comparisons with adult gatherings are moot unless the adults in question need a carer.

On the invite write something like this, depending on the set up.

'Sorry, but we won't be able to accommodate any extra siblings at this party - hope you understand'.

Or

'A sibling is welcome at this party, but please let us know in advance so we can cater for them - many thanks.'

Personally I find it quite cheeky to assume a sibling is automatically included, but some parents are cheeky fers. 🫣 *

Mmm hmm, sure you would.

Be at the door meeting them (or have a partner or trusted friend doing do if you're busy).

As they arrive:

'Hi [insert name of invited child], Great to see you, [insert name of party child] is excited to see you!'

Look toward parent dropping child:

She/He'll be ready at [insert time].

If anyone else tries to come in just restate what you included on the invite.

It might feel rude but it's the assuming parent who is actually being rude.

That's exactly what I used to do, greet them at the door, usher invited child in and give the mum / dad a cheery, see you at 6, bye.
I wouldn't have dreamt of taking my other none invited children to an event that only their sibling was invited to, so entitled.

Depends on the age and the type of party but is mostly doesn't bother me

If the child is old enough to drop & go, most parents take advantage of that! If not, and they don't have childcare for the other, I'm not going to be as mean to stop a child coming to a party!

For soft play, they just pay them in and buy food when it's party time (if there is plenty, I would just tell them to come & share)

For parties where I've hired a whole place - village hall, ice rink, cinema - it makes no significant difference to cost. Buffet food - when it's gone it's gone. Pool - I would ask for extra supervision if required

Home - trickier if you have a small house, easier in the garden! But just state on the invitation

Only exception is something with specific cost per child & limits on numbers - so escape room, laser tag, clip 'n' climb etc. then I would put on the invitation - numbers strictly limited, no extras, RSVP by X

@Yazzi

Fair enough, I would expect common courtesy of being asked in advance with no expectation.

Be careful people don't take advantage of your good nature. It's great to be friendly and nice but it's still ok to expect basic manners.

Taking siblings if necessary was pretty standard when my dc were little. My dh worked Saturdays, so couldn't look after them. If its a party in a village hall then it's fine for siblings to tag along, I just used to get a family bag of Haribos so siblings wouldn't get a party bag, but they would leave with a mini bag of sweets. If it was a soft play then the parent would just pay for the extra sibling.

Thanks :)

I’ve never seen a drop off party for a 5 year old.

The things that people feel so passionate and miserly about never ceases to amaze me.

Same!

Really?

How do you know the dad is around at weekends, and that she’s able to leave kids with him?

Depends on the party… if it’s a paid per place party then it’s incredibly rude. If it’s a village hall and the parent has asked beforehand then not at all.

If it's play per place it can be awkward. Have to say it hasn't been an issue for me as far as I recall.
I think it's cheeky to bring a kid along - others will have made arrangements for their other kids and it's not fair is it. Even asking is cheeky.
But aren't most parties after age five or six drop and leave? Then there really is no reason too.

What arrangements can be made for a 3yo sibling if the other parent is away or at work though? We've no family nearby so it's either bring the sibling or the invited child doesn't go.

Fortunately no one has ever had an issue with the sibling.

To me it's rude no matter how people justify it

But also a sibling may want to be at the party without their brother or sister?

I expect to be asked. My standard wording on the class whatsapp is "We may have a few spaces for siblings - we'll let you know once we've confirmed numbers". Then, a few days before the party, I message with the list of who is confirmed coming, and say "We have x number of spaces for siblings, let me know if you'd like one, first come, first served".

Tbh by this stage, I know which families (single parent, dad working, no family support) have childcare issues and which families simply like to bring all the kids to have fun, so I usually specifically contact those in the first category first if we can accommodate siblings so the invited DC doesn't miss out.

I often have to bring younger siblings and I check first. I keep them away from the food but the host is normally generous and open and gets the little one over for a few chips. I can understand if the extra was rude or greedy and ate all the food. But really who in their right mind would begrudge a little brother/sister a few chips. It just feels so mean. Like you know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Obviously I always pay them in if they are going to a paid event

I have no problem with siblings tagging along if they are with one parent. Many work away/work weekends/are single parents so one parent is juggling childcare. But some parents turn up with Mum, Dad and siblings. I don't get that. We send one parent to the party with invited child and the other parent looks after non invited child.

I’ve had to ask if I can bring my 1 year old to 2 parties that my 3 year old has been invited to, as I don’t have childcare. Both parents have been fine with this, but they have been hall with bouncy castle type parties where numbers aren’t necessarily an issue. If I can find childcare I use that of course, as I don’t think it’s fair on the older kids to have to watch out for little ones when they are playing at a party aimed for them.

Depends on the venue and type of party.

I’ve had a few soft play parties and paid exclusive hire so have had no problem with it and ensured there were spare party bags.

I’ve had specific places paid for at, say, trampolining/laser tag where I’ve specified I can’t accommodate siblings.

Never had a problem.

Agree. I don't do two-tier parties. If siblings attend, they are treated as party guests and get a party bag.

Maybe it's just our school but the kids don't seem to mind younger siblings tagging along and actually quite like fussing over each other's smaller brothers and sisters, or having big kids play with them.

I find this odd too.