to not like people bringing other children who are not invited to a party?

[Youwouldntlastandh0ur]

If you were having, say, a birthday party, and you invited the children, but the parent wanted to bring the child's siblings or another tag-along friend, wouldn't it annoy you?

It would really piss me off if someone bought another child who wasn't invited with them, because my kid (unless they somehow were friends or knew each other) would barely know them and I'd think that it wouldn't be fair on said child because they wouldn't know the person whose party it is.

Probably gets worse when the uninvited ones expect party bags and food.

I always make a few extra party bags and sandwiches, it costs pennies and the more the merrier in my opinion. If it’s a pay-per-child party that’s different of course.

Like everything else, kids parties have grown from jelly and ice cream and pass the parcel at home , to venue parties, soft play, trampolining; activities, theme parties, ridiculously overpriced and over decorated cakes . Cold burgers and cold chips served up by bored teenagers earning money to pay for their vaping habit.
Seems to me the very act of having children is a competition nowadays.

This was an issue in my younger son's year. Not a problem if people don't have childcare and they're too young to leave.

But most of the time this wasn't the case and families would turn up with both parents and all their kids, so one becomes four or five (and 15 became 60). Personally I think it's cheeky because they were costing the hosts extra and the dynamic changes when kids have siblings there.

If you have a partner that's around, I can't understand why you wouldn't leave your other kids at home with them. Or take the other kids for a walk or drink and pick up at the end of the party.

Why does the mother have to stay at the party? Drop off the invited child, take the sibling elsewhere until party over.
Not that difficult

The venue parties with the cold burger and chips served by the bored teenagers - that's not showing off, that's ensuring your house isn't ransacked by 30 five year olds.

@summer555 yes agreed it does my head in when people can't seem to possibly spent 2-3 hours doing separate parenting to benefit the children.

Customary to stay in P1 here, which is nice - that's how the parents have gotten to know each other, it's a nice bunch. Drop off from P2 but some kids can't be left (see my post about allergies above) and others are reluctant. There's one lovely wee girl in DD's class who finds parties stressful even when her mum stays and often has to leave early.

If your child is in primary (and so need parental presence) then you need to prepare for siblings under 10 to need to join last minute in case of childcare emergencies etc even if the parents say they won’t be bringing them. You should also expect both parents to intend. And if you can’t afford this then I’m sorry but you either can’t afford to have a party or can’t afford the type of party you want.

Everyone has to watch their budget unless you have an infinite supply of money which is vanishingly rare. It's fine to say people you know don't mind. In my experience, it's people with limited funds who usually mind the least when extra little ones arrive at parties that they haven't necessarily been invited to! Those who are better off can actually be quite mean.

yes I can’t see the problem with a soft play type venue, I just pay for my other child’s entry and don’t expect any food/party bags etc for them. Don’t see the need to ‘ask’ as they are just there like any other child at the venue. Yes rude to ask to bring sibling along and then expect the hosts to pay for entry and food for them etc. If village hall/at home party then polite to ask if sibling can come along but make it clear no expectation for food, place in pass the parcel/entertainment etc, tbh better if you can get alternative childcare in these situations or I would possibly just decline unless close friend but sometimes have to unexpectedly bring them

I wouldn’t want someone to drop and go until child at least 7

Why?

I always brought siblings. My DH worked evening and weekend shifts so I had no one to leave them with.

However, I would never expect them to join in with the party. They would always stay with me and not join in with the entertainment, food, cake, gift bags etc. As soon as it was reasonable to drop off at party and go, I did as it was much easier.

It’s venue dependent but if a whole class party at a soft play, you can’t just expect the bday kid’s parents to supervise 30 kids- I’ve been to one where the toilets were outside the venue in the shopping centre for example. If a smaller party at someone’s home then drop off from school age seems normal.

I had to bring two of mine to a couple parties for the third (with permission) but never for ones where places were paid for, and never to share the party food nor any party bags. They either sit and be bored with me or they go off and play nearby if it's public, but they don't join in in the party.

People here are so uptight. It’s a party - just do a load of food and don’t do party bags. I don’t care who comes along!

I’ve always accepted siblings and always been asked beforehand. Village hall type party fine it’s not costing extra it’s once price for hall always plenty of food and usually a spare party bag. Soft play their welcome but parents pay the admission and would buy them a meal to eat while other kids are eating

As a host I am much more relaxed when inviting kids to “non drop off” parties. What are parents supposed to do with their younger siblings etc? There’s usually enough space, and enough food for a few more kids without actually making extra. Little kids eat like birds. This post sound a bit mean spirited.

Unless stated absolutely not!!

Especially not to someone's house/hall where numbers have been planned.

I might to a soft play if I was stuck but I would pay entry fee and buy a meal

Depends imo. Usually I don't mind but when it's a last-minute or no request at all from the parents, followed by a sibling whose presence is felt for all the wrong reasons, I get really irritated.

I'd much rather make extra sandwiches for a few siblings, then have a bunch of unattended 4&5yo's left in my care. Drop off parties start around 6/7 here, and not everyone has childcare for the siblings.

I would expect the parent to ask in advance, but don't think my kid nor knowing the sibling well is a big deal. No different to someone bringing a plus 1 I don't personally know to an adult party.

@Yazzi

So you plan a party in your garden for ten kids. Prepare enough food, make up ten party bags and buy a cake. Hire a small bouncy castle . Each of the nine guests bring two siblings and now you have 28 kids, not enough food , cake or party bags and the castle is dangerously overcrowded.

And you would be ok with that??

If your sister was invited out to a meal for a friends birthday (who you didn't know) would you just turn up for free food ?

You sound just lovely 🌹

I am, yes!

Yes, I would be totally happy with this. And it has happened similar.

But I would never just make food or party bags for 10 kids in case that would happen. And kids can... Rotate through the bouncy castle? And play other things?

And most importantly, the kids have a nice time, I have a nice time (cos I'm not obsessed with bitterness or grudges) and everyone is still friends with good memories at the end of it.

And no I wouldn't just turn up with my sister because I'm not actually a dependent of my sister, and my sister would be able to go even if I was left at home alone. Hopefully you can appreciate that very obvious difference.