If you live in a middle class area do you ever hear your neighbours argue?

[Barrol]

Never heard a single neighbour argue and it makes me so self conscious when DH and I do. Not that we argue often. Dh and I raised our voices earlier in the evening as we had very different opinions on how to approach ab annoying task we are getting through. All the windows were wide open. So embarrassed. It was only for 5 minutes.

Is it because we live in a middle class area in the Home Counties?

Just for context our cul de sac is described as sought after on house listings. Most people are professionals around here. Do these people just have calm discussions?

Have lived here for 10 years. Never heard a peep.

🙄

I've never heard my neighbours arguing but I can guarantee they have heard us. We are fiery! But otherwise very loving and very happy

In defence of the OP I'm a former noise officer. I can confirm that complaints about people arguing only ever came from the less salubrious parts of town.

When we moved to our current place 20 years ago, it was pretty quiet. Still is in fact. Yhe house over the back was a family home - husband, wife & 2 kids.

Wife & female teenager had a tempestuous & very reactive relationship, putting it mildly, and you could hear the daily arguing even when the windows were shut.
This went on for years. We did complain a couple of times as it was ridiculous - they were always at each other's throats. You never heard a male voice!

Eventually when they were arguing with the windows open & we were in the garden my mother said something along the lines of 'please shut up you're very tedious' which did shut them up - I guess they were surprised.
The husband came round and apologised to us for the noise.

Things eased when puberty passed. It was bloody annoying & I was shocked at the way the daughter talked to her mother.
I wouldn't have dared talk to my parents that way as a teenager.
However they were as bad as each other & you could hear how they were winding each other up.

The family is still there although the children have flown the nest. It has made me very mindful of conversations, noise level, etc when I have the windows open!

The snobbery is sickening. Working class here and never once have I had an argument the neighbours would be able to hear, how absolutely antisocial and uncouth. Money can’t buy class apparently.

I guess where we live is middle class (it's just houses in a road that are worth a few hundred grand). I've heard a few neighbours having a shouting match over the years.

One neighbours teen daughter is a shouter.

I'm sure they've heard us too.

I live in a semi detached house in a very middle class area. I’ve never heard the neighbours argue. I occasionally hear the mum telling off the kids, but only faintly.

At our last house, same area, we did hear the neighbours arguing fairly regularly. Was good entertainment, as they made a holy
show of themselves. It was an older house with thinner walls.

Prior to all this, I lived in a working class area (the horror!!!!!) and didn’t hear any neighbours arguing. It was all quite sedate.

The neighbours of my friend called the police after hearing her abusive husband shouting at her.

Very middle class, privately educated couple.
so it does happen.

Possibly you don’t hear because you aren’t constantly at home, or there’s more space between homes.

😆

I think you just made my day.

I bet they thought you were a really decent person and a very good neighbour. ( Has made me laugh though )

I used to have this same fear when I was with my ex, he used to scream at me and I was mortified thinking people could hear.

Generally with the windows shut they won't hear.

What makes you middle class in your opinion? Because in my opinion if you are actually middle class it would be a faux pas to say that’s what you are, Just because you have the money to mortgage a property it doesn’t make you middle class..The photo of the style of property you like in looks pretty average..You get nice people in all walks of life and equally you get horrible people, it’s luck of the draw who you live next to and nothing to do with class. Did you mean to ask am I more likely to hear arguments living next to social housing, or in terraced properties or in scruffy properties or in a flat block, I don’t understand? Or if the people rent or own. In any case you don’t sound very nice.

Also in defence of OP I can confirm that is a similar finding to my own.

"Tomaaaaaaa-o!!"

I'd forgotten about that & did a coffee snort when I read & remembered. Thanks for the morning chuckle ☺️

Maybe everyone's doing that special sort of whisper shout that you do with your kids when you're out in public and you're absolutely livid with them. 🤣

Yes and yes.

It's all repressed hisses, OP you need to practice. Also learn:
Scathing looks.
Brooding.
Petty revenge
and most cutting, long running disappointment.

I used to live in Catford, we had a riot once. That was pretty loud.

In 13 years, I've not heard any arguments. Village in Hampshire.

But I don't do 'screaming in the street'. I had a boyfriend once who turned up late at night, hammering on my door and yelling because he was unhappy about something, waking all the neighbours.

He got dumped instantly. I hate scenes, and I don't put up with bullying. Just horrible. I'd much rather be single.

Before here, we lived in a temporary flat in an ex-council block, and the neighbours on all sides were lovely, helped me carry shopping/buggy etc (no lift) but oh my word, when they argued, it was loud. Screaming, name calling, slamming doors, crashing which I assume was things being thrown. It was a complete eye-opener. They didn't seem to hold grudges though. Yelling seemed to be their pressure valve. I go for a run. 😁

Omg - really!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

That is hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Cheered me right up

Don't think it's class, I think it's house spacing/ more expensive window glazing etc.

I lived on a nice street where 2 of the male neighbours got into a music blasting war (it started out with teenagers but the Dads got involved and it really kicked off). Both rich guys, both tossers.

To anyone who is working class please just take this question in good faith. I’m trying to understand why I’m making a show of myself. I’m not trying to offend in the slightest.

OK. If you work, you're of the working class as opposed to that class which doesn't need to work because of land, property and being independently wealthy.

What you're talking about is affluence and a desire to abide by social rules that you think sets some people apart from others is a desire to be seen by those you deem to be better than you as, in turn, better than those you deem to be beneath you.

In more affluent areas, the houses are bigger and often detached and often have more space between them so you're less likely to hear arguments.

In houses which are smaller and built more closely together, you're likely to hear more.

I used to live in a very affluent area and I didn't hear people arguing. I now live in a less affluent area (I moved because of the unpleasant attitude and interfering nature of those who liked to think of themselves as better than others). I now live in a lovely terraced house and I still don't hear people arguing.

Some people conduct themselves with dignity and self respect and don't air their dirty laundry in public or at a volume others can hear. Some people aren't. How big a house they can afford doesn't make any difference.

I only have one neighbour and he’s almost 100 and lives alone. But 20 years ago DH and I were private renting on an estate that was largely social housing, honestly it was quite depressing. Lots of swearing (cheerful swearing just as often as aggressive), lots of shouting. Yes couples shouting at each other and their kids fairly often, usually the same people over and over. But even the families were there was not so much conflict, it just seems to be different in terms of being socially aware and what is ok. Everything is done loudly and boldly in an uncouth and inconsiderate manner - as if it’s a point of honour to impact on others days as much as possible. The middle class streets x2 we lived on prior to moving here, I never heard any loud arguments. It’s definitely a class thing, middle class (and I mean it in the broadest sense of middle class rather than true ye olde generational middle class) are the ones who care what the neighbours think - the seriously posh and the poor do not have the same social awareness. However upper class people aren’t living cheek to jowl with their neighbours nor are they under the same pressures or living the same grim existence. The lack or privacy and personal space on social housing estates is something I’ve never forgotten and every house I’ve bought since, privacy and personal space has been the highest priority above anything else.

I daresay that's correct, but I'd imagine it's at least partly due to people living in close proximity, with poor soundproofing