If you live in a middle class area do you ever hear your neighbours argue?

[Barrol]

Never heard a single neighbour argue and it makes me so self conscious when DH and I do. Not that we argue often. Dh and I raised our voices earlier in the evening as we had very different opinions on how to approach ab annoying task we are getting through. All the windows were wide open. So embarrassed. It was only for 5 minutes.

Is it because we live in a middle class area in the Home Counties?

Just for context our cul de sac is described as sought after on house listings. Most people are professionals around here. Do these people just have calm discussions?

Have lived here for 10 years. Never heard a peep.

I’ve lived in some middle-class areas and some much more working class areas, and I’ve never really heard my neighbours arguing in any of them! Certainly not on a regular basis anyway.

This is 100% my experience too.

I didn't think couples argued like that now, I thought it was gone along with smacking the kids.

I do hear my neighbours teenage daughters trying to kill each other though.

We lived in a very middle class street, unfortunately the upstairs neighbours began arguing lots, he threw her against the wall, I think he’d started taking lots of drugs after losing his job-drink driving, I think, he worked for a well known national replacement windscreen company. Police were called, I think he eventually ended up in prison.

He had previously told me horrific stories about his life growing up in Durban, how it was preferable to drive home drunk rather than use a taxi etc, how someone he knew had had their hand cut off so the guy could steal his Rolex. I think he was just used to behaving outside of the law. 🤷‍♀️

I went onto the drive one day in my new house, the wife from the attached house was effing and blinding at her husband who shushed her when he saw us. Made me laugh, my language is appalling!

I apologise. I’m asking to have this thread deleted. It’s clearly got people’s backs up. I was just trying to see if people living in similar areas to me ever hear their neighbours shouting. No more, no less. And I ask this not to troll but out of genuine curiosity as to why my family seem to be the only ones incapable of behaving nicely.

Middle class is just an accurate description of our area.

No. Never. I do cringe remembering when I had packed the car to take the kids away for a week camping and DS, who was 13 at the time, just suddenly refused to come with us. I ended up losing my cool entirely and yelling, "Get in the fucking car. Right now!" not realizing his window was open. Not my finest moment.

Needless to say, we all had a brilliant trip and DS in particular laughed his head off when we got home and the next door neighbour's house was for sale.

We're in a middle class area. Don't hear screaming rows except from one couple with four young children, mummy sometimes loses it.

The rest of us the children have flown the nest. So it's teeth clenched whispered insults if anyone else is around 😂

Our neighbour used to play the piano in the summer with windows and doors open it was lovely

Both sides - never hear a squeak. I can hear one side - older couple - speak in the garden and I think they speak so nicely together it must be false. But no. He just does what he is told and that makes for a happy marriage

my parents threw plates at each other (now divorced). So I can’t believe some couples age so happily

No of course not. My nearest neighbour is about half a mile away. My DH and I do have debates, and we sometimes use the fuck off word, occasionally I'll tell him he's a bastard. Both solidly working class, even though I have 2 degrees. I guess we are new money?

I was raised as one of the awful working class people you dislike, but I learned not to performatively involve neighbours in disagreements with my spouse.

Maybe I can teach you that in some sort of cultural exchange?

Please do call the police if you hear threats of violence. My ex H used to threaten and shout at me (we lived in a lovely middle class area). I'm so sure the neighbours knew everything and was amazed no one called the police, even though we had a small dc. I eventually did call them myself before he finished me off, but it has always made me think the very British habit of not getting involved could have led to a very different outcome for me.

I don’t know how to verbalise why I think there is a class divide on this matter.

I think you really should try, before your thread's deleted.

Poor, young mothers are the most likely to suffer domestic abuse. This doesn't really equate to 'lower class' people having louder or more frequent arguments, though. They might have thinner walls and be in closer proximity. I seriously doubt that middle-class professionals are better at measured conflict resolution - my extensive experience of working and socialising with them suggests not!

Working class street dweller here and not very often in the last 20 years or so and never since the pub over the road was demolished, although when I was still with my very violent abusive ex, I am sure that my neighbours did.

But I grew up in a naice MC street (70's, working class people who became the classic boomers and it was all about appearances), and boy oh boy yes we did. As I am sure did our NDN. The wife of our NDN couple could etch glass when she was on one!

I remember my (then, due to hormonal issues) abusive mother battering the crap out of me and then beating me again for screaming and showing her up...... work that one out. Apparently it never happened.......

I grew up in a working class area and the only people who I remember shouting at each other were my family. But we heard the neighbours a lot just going about their lives because the housing was terraced and the windows single pane. And we all tried to be considerate but generally it was a fairly loud life whether it was TVs playing, people crashing around, laughter, car engines going, kids playing, etc.

I’m a lot more middle class now and I only hear the neighbours when they have loud parties in the garden and sometimes kids shrieking when they play.

I was a police officer in the 90s and we were called by neighbours to domestics in working class areas a lot more, almost never called to the more middle class areas. But again, more densely packed housing (and more people living in each house), also I’m pretty sure more of the housing stock was working class. But the number of domestics where we were called by someone who lived in the house was less uneven. But domestics aren’t just people communicating in a shouty way, which I think is your question, so may be less relevant.

Btw my point wasn’t that middle class people are less likely to argue just that they are quieter when they do so for whatever reason

They probably are less likely to argue. Over all, middle class people are less likely to have as much stress in their lives as working class and so less to argue about and more resources to solve problems without getting into conflict with each other.

I've never heard them argue, although they wouldn't be heard unless they were at the end of their garden. I obviously disagree with my DH sometimes but we don't raise our voices so people wouldn't hear that anyway.

Our middle class neighbours had an argument so bad we called the police. He was threatening to “drop” her, and they had a child under 2 in the house. I don’t think class has much to do with wether people argue.

I can’t sleep and this thread has entertained me. Not offended at all!
I’m mainly astonished by the claim of a pp that she has never shouted at her husband! .
I think middle class people argue by hissing vicious passive aggressive things at each other rather than yelling, right?

I think that's very true. Hence there were a million and one Gordon's beating the shit out of their Sandra's in the 80's and bringing domestic violence into the fore.

Hi! I'm from what is known as the underclass originally 😂
I'm not offended, if you didn't shout when I grew up you didn't get heard 😂

I thought you'd like this -
When I moved into a nice area for the first time, no sofas in front gardens and burnt out cars blocking entries or people trying to sell you your clothes theyd pinched off your line bacm to you, i was quite surprised to hear my new neighbour being absolutely awful to what I assumed was his DW.
I heard him yelling and swearing and the next day when he went to work i knocked and asked her if she needed any help and told her (I've had abusive relationships myself) if she needed anything to knock if she was in danger and she was always welcome to my home. Blurted this out without taking a breath.
She looked at me like I had 5 heads.
I explained I heard him screaming at her and swearing. She looked really shocked and then realised what I was on about.
Turns out their fucking cat had kindly walked in through the flap late at night and gifted them a mostly, but not fully dead, mouse.
The "dirty little twat" he yelled was at their dcat and not the wife he dearly loved.

I became friendly with them both but still always cringe thinking about it.

Yes. Affluent area, detached houses but I've heard neighbours on both sides and directly across the cul-de-sac.

All domestic abuse. The common factor isn't class, its men.

Never seem to hear any shouting from neighbours here. Regular area of mixed urban housing. There's a lot of traffic noise during the day which would mask it but at night, still completely silent. Even when I'm out walking the dog late, I never hear anything! Seems odd to me!

Money doesn’t equate class.

Upper middle class don't shout and scream. We seethe 😂

All of my neighbours scream shout when they're in the front or back garden like general conversation. It's like they're in the same room as you. Kids, adults, doesn't matter. We're in the middle of terraced houses and I've realised it's making me grind my teeth. It's no better inside, one side has a deaf elderly woman blasting her tv at full volume until the wee early hours. We share a wall. The other side have never been known to shut their front door quietly, they run up the stairs like a herd of elephants and seem to spend an inordinate amount of time talking as a group just behind the wall when I'm in the loo. I can hear every word, just as much as I can hear the blokes weeing even from my bedroom. Hell is other people!