in trouble with DIL again

[itainthalfhot]

my DIL posts on insta and facebook multiple times a day, always about the baby, baby has been to this class or that event, always happy smily pictures, but they do get annoying after a while.

anyway, i've muted her.. we also have a family chat, and i use this to catch up with things on a regular basis.

i received a message last night asking why i hadn't commented on her post about the fact that baby had chickenpox and that didn't i care about him? i mentioned that i 'must have missed it'...

we'd had a chat on our whats app group earlier that day, and there was no mention of chickenpox there?

so i've had to go to inta, trawl through her many posts and comment! its ridiculous. it seems i can never do right for doing wrong!

AIBU by not commenting on the post?
YANBU she should have simply told me when we chatted earlier in the day?

@Homedesign123 I'm sure OP feels exactly the same about your mad ranting!!

The irony is real

Flummox her by saying your taking a social media cleanse and not on there much. Send info via group WhatsApp to you. She sounds hard work 🫤🙄😩

This.

FFS, just tell her you haven't been on social media much lately and to text you anything urgent because you plan to take a break from insta and other platforms.

She started a thread looking for opinions, she's had mine. All she's done is try and defend herself in every reply. I was actually on her side to begin with untill she threw in her Stone Age family name comment, I'm a feminist, Sue me. It gets my back up when people act like girls are less than. That is all.

I think we've gathered that

OP, every day, you must tell DIL what you've had for breakfast, how many times you've had to poop, what the consistency looked like. Then feign being offended when she's not interested in hearing about these details

how have i said women are less? we simply like the idea of the family name continuing for one more generation at least... but now purely based on this i am the devil incarnate

i dont think i have the energy to be honest. I've been online a lot today which is unusal only because i was caught up by the comments.

i think the last time i posted anything on SM myself was the 6th of July when we went to a rugby match !

i litterally have social media because my husband was sick of my using his account to buy things off market place and he was getting messages from strangers about things i was interested in, so made me get an account.. it really has been the bane of my life.

Why is the onus on OP to bend over backwards for her son and DIL?

She’s doing plenty already!

You literally said she holds higher heirachy in your family because she has a boy, how is that not putting him above your female grandchildren? If you can't see that then that's fine.

She’s ridiculous to accuse you of not caring because you didn’t comment on one of her many Instagram posts.
But by going back and trawling her posts for the relevant one and posting hearts and such on it, you’re just encouraging her. Mistake. She now thinks you admit you were wrong not to give her the attention she was demanding.
You already have a duplicate way of getting all the photos, so there’s no need to follow her on Instagram, and if you do choose to, you could just tell her you don’t check it very often.
I despair if we’ve arrived at the stage of people thinking someone doesn’t care because they didn’t respond to one of many Instagram posts.
If she really wanted you to know about the chickenpox and respond to her about it, she should have talked to you individually, not just include you in a broadcast to her followers and sit there waiting for you to post some concerned reply. I think she’s rather rude.

😂😂😂

er.. no i said she is held higher as they have a boy that will continue the family name! my own daughters have sons.. i don't have any female GC

good.

AIBU by not commenting on the post?
YANBU she should have simply told me when we chatted earlier in the day?

Just a reminder of your original questions OP, in case you've forgotten in all the inexplicable furore this thread has caused.

YANBU by the way. And if anything was PA in this whole situation, it was your DIL's daft 'don't you care about your grandchild' comment.

Thanks, I hadn’t seen it.

i don’t think it’s entirely unreasonable to not want second hand clothes bought, I would only use second hand in certain circumstances, if I was looking for a particular style etc and would prefer to get these myself.

@Homedesign123 wrong end of the stick there then!

You've made yourself look very foolish.

how dare you! how dare you imply that i am something less because i don't have female grandchildren. my children and my grandchildren ARE all loved and treated equally not because of their sex or gender.. how dare you try to make me feel any less of a person just because of your views.

you can pick away all you like now, you can make yourself look as stupid as you like as often as you like.

Wanna be anymore of a suck arse? 😂 what are you OP's little side kick?

I didn't get the wrong end of the stick, she never once said she didn't have female GC and to say "higher heiracy" implies heavily that she's higher than others. Which it would be fair to assume would be her female GC.

and as i said, we took this on board and accept this is their choice so any gifts or wants from then on were brand new. we unfortunately assumed (wrongly) that as money was tight, they would appreciate the gesture, probably because our own children wore 2nd hand as money was tight for us then too.

unfortunately this was also pointed out to us publically on SM rather than privately.

@Homedesign123 want to be anymore ridiculous, want to show yourself up anymore?

It's great fun seeing you getting madder and madder....

Is there a reason why you're so "triggered" by a flippant comment on an internet forum?

or logically my son marries and keeps the family name, and any children they have has his name, whereas my daughters marry and they carry their husbands name, as do their children.. never assume

Not got a solution but I just CBA with that level of drama and I've no time for people that play their lives out on Sm.

Because I have daughters, surely that's obvious? Because my daughters birthday cards from their great granny always have just their first names on the envelope and my sons has his first and last because "he's going to carry on their poxy name" Who actually gives a rats ass.

Eek, well that was unkind and unnecessary on her part. 😳and rather embarrassing for her.

I think sometimes a face to face conversation is better, and probably needed here. SM is so annoying. I mute lots of people, prefer actual human interaction Instagram is so braggy, not authentic and I often think posts aimed at certain people.

Id be telling her you can’t keep up with her instagram, which is not untrue

hope it all comes out in the wash