To have a 'cut-off' for breakfast

[DominiqueBernard]

Last night, the DC (12 and 11) went to bed at 9pm to read then lights out at 9.30pm as usual at weekends. We had said we would go to Mass this morning at 9.30am.

At 9am DS11, DH and I were all awake and had eaten breakfast and got dressed. DD12 was still asleep so we decided not to wake her and we went to Mass at 9.20am, leaving her a note. We got back at about 10.45am and she was still asleep. She woke up at 11.45am. She came into the kitchen where DH, DS and I were preparing lunch. We had cleared away her breakfast place to make room (our kitchen diner is small). She helped herself to a glass of juice and then DH said, lunch is at 12.30pm, implying that she could wait until then to eat. I agreed with DH and still do.

However, I wonder if others might say we were being mean?

If it's relevant, we come from a culture where it's very unusual to eat between meals.

Unless she’s eating it off the carpet with her face I don’t see how it’s minging

Very regimented...surely children of that age just make their own lunch when they are hungry. Can't relate to such a timetabled way of living at all

@ChilliSquib I think you misunderstood me. I would never send them to eat in their room. I'd give them the choice to eat their meal when and where they liked within reason. I just thought they might want to eat in their room, but it wouldn't be forced?!

You really need to adjust your expectations now, before teenage years

• more mealtimes will be missed and adjusted
• they will want more food sometimes
• hangry teenagers are not fun

This is such an odd family set up. Can’t imagine being this weirdly rigid with my kids.

Gosh, YABVU. Why the absolutely rigidity of times????? A bowl of breakfast cereal/toast and a drink would have been fine. I sincerely hope you don't have any 'real' teenage battles ( I did)

I assume because she was tired. I used to sleep for ages as a teenager. It’s a bit like being a toddler again, your brain and body are changing really quickly and you’ve got your hormones going mental on top of everything. Nothing ridiculous about it at all.

Ok but that's not how it sounded.

I'd say she can eat a snack now then eat her lunch later in her room.

My son is 15 and finished school in June - he goes to bed very late most nights and wakes up mid-late morning, sometimes midday. As a result he's eating breakfast when we/I are eating lunch. I find it mildly annoying but it's definitely not worth arguing about. It's not worth it. Especially if he tidies up etc. Plus it's only temporary as he'll be back in education in September.

Totally normal OP. Who has breakfast 30
minutes before lunch?

No point having breakfast when you’re about to serve lunch. She had some juice to tide her over, I don’t see the problem.

This. Aren't you supposed to go to Mass fasting?

Op is lunch a full on 3 course Sunday lunch ?
Or a more normal toast/sandwich type lunch?

If the former I'd suggest she could have her starter early,

But if it was the later I'd probably still let her have a bowl of cearel. Effectively having a 2 course lunch.

3 people to prepare lunch?

This!!

It was literally just over 30 minutes before waking up and lunch, surely she could have waited?

Oh the old "teenagers need lots of sleep" rubbish. Strange how I didn't and nor did my siblings. I used to go to bed later than 9.30 and never ever slept until lunchtime.

It is ridiculous and pathetic. Unless she is ill there is no way she needs to sleep around 14 hours.

Seems totally reasonable to me to ask her to wait until lunch at that point

And also seems perfectly reasonable to have family meals

I once saw my daughter suddenly slump to the floor just before Sunday lunch, which was very alarming. It turned out that it was a vasovagal episode, and the fact that she hadn't had breakfast was a contributing factor. It's not uncommon in teenage girls.

So although I'd be inclined to have a time limit on a sit-down breakfast, I'd be inclined to encourage eating a banana or a cereal bar or something unless lunch is very close.

Your son is going to bed late, this girl went to bed at 9.30pm!!!!!

If you’re saying she was being told not to make some toast or cereal for herself, then YABU.

I’ve just made my almost 16 year old breakfast. And I took it up to him.

My children aged nearly 18 & 20 never ate in their rooms. Neither did I growing up, it is minging and encourages vermin.

I'm curious what culture doesn't believe in eating between meals?

You sound psychotic. You really need to unclench. The teenage years are going to hit you hard