To have a 'cut-off' for breakfast

[DominiqueBernard]

Last night, the DC (12 and 11) went to bed at 9pm to read then lights out at 9.30pm as usual at weekends. We had said we would go to Mass this morning at 9.30am.

At 9am DS11, DH and I were all awake and had eaten breakfast and got dressed. DD12 was still asleep so we decided not to wake her and we went to Mass at 9.20am, leaving her a note. We got back at about 10.45am and she was still asleep. She woke up at 11.45am. She came into the kitchen where DH, DS and I were preparing lunch. We had cleared away her breakfast place to make room (our kitchen diner is small). She helped herself to a glass of juice and then DH said, lunch is at 12.30pm, implying that she could wait until then to eat. I agreed with DH and still do.

However, I wonder if others might say we were being mean?

If it's relevant, we come from a culture where it's very unusual to eat between meals.

@needanewname42 some of us eat our main meal at lunchtime - believe it or not. Especially when having family with young children round or to stay. And since I started my cancer treatment I tend to get tired and to go to bed early so even more reason not to do a big meal for everyone in the evening.

@DilemmaDelilah if no one can come in from from 10, what time do you serve lunch?

you are undergoing cancer treatment, and you are cooking the family get together lunches?

My mum's culture

@courgettes4eva yes I do actually. Try and be a little more open-minded. There are lots of people in the world, the UK and in England who do things in a different way than you. I accept that your way of doing things is how you want to live - it is not how I want to live. My extended family share my background and understand how we do things.

Did she want lunch? I would have given mine the choice that we are having x for lunch, would you like some or are you going to make something yourself.

try and be a little open minded?!

oh the irony.

suggest you reread your posts

and your family should be cooking for you!

in your own words be more “open minded” 😆

@courgettes4eva yes - I cook for the family events. I have done the chemo (didn't work for me, ended up in hospital, had to stop), had the surgery, had the radiotherapy, currently on immunotherapy and adrenotherapy and due to start something else in just a few weeks. So I am much better than I was, I love hosting, but I have had to simplify what I do nowadays so that I don't have to stand for too long and so that there is nothing that needs to be done last minute.

your situation is different
i would feel bloody awkward watching my ill host cooking me lunch

so hell yes i’d be up before 10 and doing what the heck worked for them

@courgettes4eva last one should have been for @needanewname42.

Let's not derail this thread any more. Sorry OP.

the op is all for derailing!

shes come back to confirm what the sermon was. Twice. and ignored any relevant question whatsoever

I think most of us would feel bloody awkward if an ill host was cooking for us.

not the family of @DilemmaDelilah it would seem

@courgettes4eva and @needanewname42 Just to make things clear - I get tired but I am perfectly capable of cooking a nice meal if I am careful about what I choose to do - I am so much better than I was this time last year. And I choose to do it - my DH would do it if I didn't feel up to it. Having cancer doesn't necessarily make one incapable - at least not at the stage I am in. I know many people who are living full and active lives with cancer.

Gosh, what a rigid life. Not only the meal thing, but the 9pm bedtime.

my point is

if i knew a family member had endured what you had (and continued to) and you were hosting me overnight and cooking me lunch

Whatever the hell you say regarding kitchen “opening times”… i would obey happily!

Sounds like eating isn't really the issue here, it's the fact she is about to hit the teenage years.
You focused on the fact she missed mass and got up late. She is breaking your family routine. It's starting!
There was no need to mention the timimg of lunch, she is probably well aware!

i understand a pretty rigid schedule for a 12 year old in terms of mealtimes and definitely bedtime

but what i don’t understand is a relaxed Sunday at start of summer hols, you’ve allowed her a lovely long lie in, but then put your down down to what could have just been a slice of toast and glass of oj until lunch.

Your post isn't clear as to whether she asked for/ went to get any food. In this circumstance I dont see the issue with having a yoghurt or fruit since she hadn't eaten yet and lunch was still 45minutes away.

Sorry I haven’t read the entire thread but a quick google tells me you are likely from the Episcopalian Church based on scripture dates.

Is there a reason for your routine being so strict? 9.30 bedtime lights out is unusual for children that age on school holidays.

the op doesn’t want to answer any question aside from confirming what was the sermon that day

it really is not unusual