To have a 'cut-off' for breakfast

[DominiqueBernard]

Last night, the DC (12 and 11) went to bed at 9pm to read then lights out at 9.30pm as usual at weekends. We had said we would go to Mass this morning at 9.30am.

At 9am DS11, DH and I were all awake and had eaten breakfast and got dressed. DD12 was still asleep so we decided not to wake her and we went to Mass at 9.20am, leaving her a note. We got back at about 10.45am and she was still asleep. She woke up at 11.45am. She came into the kitchen where DH, DS and I were preparing lunch. We had cleared away her breakfast place to make room (our kitchen diner is small). She helped herself to a glass of juice and then DH said, lunch is at 12.30pm, implying that she could wait until then to eat. I agreed with DH and still do.

However, I wonder if others might say we were being mean?

If it's relevant, we come from a culture where it's very unusual to eat between meals.

Very controlling not to allow your child to eat when she wakes up tbh.

@Oldermum84 I wasn't talking about OP. If you go back and actually read the thread, you'll see my response about it being shit to force a child to attend church was in response to this post:

AndromacheAstyanax
In my house the non-negotiable would be the Mass attendance but an extraordinarily late or extra breakfast (or a pre-lunch snack) wouldn’t cause a stir.

@BurbageBrook she was goi g to be fed when lunch was ready in under an hour!!!! Read the thread! Nobody dies from waiting 45 minutes!

No wonder there is so much child obesity. They can’t possibly wait for gratification these days! God knows how they would have survived during rationing.

Not unreasonable, it was only 45 minutes to wait. I don't allow eating whenever you want in my house either, it's not the way I was raised but even if I was raised differently I wouldn't allow it now, because I know it's not healthy.

THE CHILD DIDN’T ASK FOR FOOD

yeah its all this blooming modern church stuff.

@ItsAlrightDarling I know! I’m talking about the posters saying it’s cruel.

Perhaps, but in this case it seems that the child just didn't get up when they were supposed to. If she had made a conscious decision to not attend church then the OP wouldn't have tried to get her up.

For example....

I think if you are happy to leave her alone and sleep whilst everyone is out, then you should be ok for her to get herself something to eat to tide herself over.

@DominiqueBernard
What actually made you ask the question?

Are you feeling guilty that you are controlling her eating habits?

Feeling guilty that you still control her bedtime at weekends? 9.00 actually seems early to me for a 12 yo.

Feeding bad about going out without her?

It seems weird you posted about the girl being effective told to skip breakfast, when your classing late breakfast as eating between meals.

Are you Catholic?
You are supposed to fast for one hour before receiving Holy Communion.
A lot of people don't and I think that message doesn't really get taught any more (such as in First Holy Communion preparations) but it's still a requirement that you fast before receiving Communion.

See Canon Law article 919
https://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib4-cann879-958_en.html

Well as communion comes at the end of a 45 minute ( if you get a whizzy priest) mass, most have fasted by that time.

Really?

Family meals are the glue that holds them together everyone randomly eating on their own wrecks family time.

Grazing is a bad habit and bad for health. You're right to have strong boundaries around when meals are - it will lead to better eating habits, and eating together as a family.

but what if “family time” is dealing with teens and tweens just arguing amongst themselves and dragging you in to it?!

Yes, well that's exactly what family meals are for: a truce, some conversation, one moment to share or at least communicate. Otherwise it's just feeding at the zoo.

Then you deal with it, you don't just give up on family meals because you can't handle the children bickering! We always ate dinner together as a family growing up, and with 5 children there was a lot of arguing (and arguing with our parents) but my parents dealt with it and we also had a lot of interesting debates and discussions.

She needs a routine & to be out of bed much earlier. She can't be sleeping until lunch and missing half a day.

Unless I'm missing something I can't see where the OP has said whether DD wanted breakfast at 11.45 and wasn't allowed to have it, if the OP is counting the glass of juice as breakfast and this is what she's objecting to or the DD was happy to wait until lunch at 12.30 to eat and this is a non issue?

I would have thought that if the DD was happy to wait, that would be fine, as would her having something 'to put her on until lunch' if she was very hungry and didn't want to wait until lunch was served?

This

Why can’t she have breakfast and skip lunch rather than wait until lunch?

What he said was fine but I think I'd have been flexible on what lunch was I.e. I'd have let her have cereal and box up the lunch for another day or a snack.

I don't think I'd want some foods within an hour of waking up.

I dont like snack culture either but sometimes you need a spare meal around, like if she's going swimming or travelling at an odd time or wakes up late and wants to eat a little later so it's helpful to have around.