To have a 'cut-off' for breakfast

[DominiqueBernard]

Last night, the DC (12 and 11) went to bed at 9pm to read then lights out at 9.30pm as usual at weekends. We had said we would go to Mass this morning at 9.30am.

At 9am DS11, DH and I were all awake and had eaten breakfast and got dressed. DD12 was still asleep so we decided not to wake her and we went to Mass at 9.20am, leaving her a note. We got back at about 10.45am and she was still asleep. She woke up at 11.45am. She came into the kitchen where DH, DS and I were preparing lunch. We had cleared away her breakfast place to make room (our kitchen diner is small). She helped herself to a glass of juice and then DH said, lunch is at 12.30pm, implying that she could wait until then to eat. I agreed with DH and still do.

However, I wonder if others might say we were being mean?

If it's relevant, we come from a culture where it's very unusual to eat between meals.

Let her eat when she wants ? Quick way to disordered eating , restricting food .

Don't be so rude. Even if you're not religious you can at least respect those families that are.

I don't have to respect parents forcing children to be religious and attend church. It's a shit thing to force that on your kids.

Well, not if you are bringing them up Catholic.

We, it is. Forcing children to go to church is shit, especially when they're old enough to choose and stay home.

Op doesn't actually say the daughter wanted to eat and/or was unhappy waiting.

You are clearly not Spanish then cos my students snack non stop.

I would never have left mine at that age for that long nor left them in bed while everyone else ate although I would not be going to mass either I guess but breakfast before 9 then lunch at 12.30. What time is dinner?

Yes this.

Things will change as they hit puberty/teenage - they need more sleep (that's a fact, not an opinion) and more calories.

Lighten up and loosen the reins - she's not a toddler any more, let her decide for herself what and when she eats. Too much parental control over food leads to eating in secret and eating disorders.

Did she ASK for food right that moment, you say "No, you can wait for 45 minutes", and she stomp off yelling how "everyone hates her"?

IOW--If she did not ask for something then and there, she was obviously okay waiting for lunch. If she asked for something, and you refused to let her eat at that time, you need to chill out.

Nuance matters, and it seems some posters are ready to vilify you without all the facts.

Also interested in which culture doesn’t snack between meals-seems rather unusual. Why didn’t you wake her for mass? I’d have had no choice at 12.

@mydogisthebest I guess you've never had kids/early teens yet then ... it's your post that's ridiculous. Or you're just looking for a fight.

Oh the old "teenagers need lots of sleep" rubbish. Strange how I didn't and nor did my siblings. I used to go to bed later than 9.30 and never ever slept until lunchtime.

It is ridiculous and pathetic. Unless she is ill there is no way she needs to sleep around 14 hours.

@mydogisthebest this made me laugh. Such righteous indignation! Maybe if you'd slept more, you'd have developed more brain cells. Or the capacity to understand that people are different with different needs. It's not rubbish - it's a scientific fact that teenagers require more sleep for the leaps in brain development. Which you maybe didn't get ...

She must have needed the sleep though.
Don't think it's fair to wake her unnecessarily.

I would have been fine with her having a drink but I do ask my lot not to be snacking/having impromptu meals right before a regular mealtime - especially if I’ve gone to the effort of preparing something and it’s a sit down affair. for example if I’ve made a roast dinner, I’m not going to be appreciative of someone scoffing a bowl of cereal or bacon sarnie half an hour before.

Are you saying she’s found a way to force herself to stay asleep, despite her body not needing the sleep? That’s pretty clever.

Sorry I quoted the wrong poster.

You're not a mcdonalds, you need to unclench.

Did she want something to eat at 11.45 or not?

She didn't force her child to attend church. She didn't go...?!

The OP hasn’t come back and posted a thread designed to get people frothing.

I was brought up Catholic, and being made to go to Mass every weekend was the worst part of my week. A 12 year old would far rather have a lie in!

It definitely was; I was there.

😂

No, I don't know anyone who does this. Maybe it's not a thing in this country. I mean obviously people fast for religious reasons, but not before every Mass.

Many?

I was brought up catholic. Fasting was not part of mass . Fridays used to be , then fish only but most don’t these days. Obviously Lent is when Catholics would give something up for 40 days.

Certainly gluttony was one of the seven sins ( as was sloth 🥴) I was definitely aware of not being greedy. To think of those with less . Turns out, eating less and periods of fasting are the way to longevity!