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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Invited to celebrate my twin sisters birthday

138 replies

Megssy · 21/07/2024 02:02

Just that really...

Having a weekend away for our 40 th next year. Same group of friends and obviously same family. But my friends keep referring to it as my twin sisters birthday and not mine 🤔. Tonight a joint friend said we would have to have a drink at a later date since we were going away for my twin sister's birthday. Im super irritated by this. Aibu? It's weird right?

For back ground we have a strained relationship but despite this have a very close (or so I thought) set of friends and always kept are issues separate

The only reason I can think for the distinction is that she is inviting her in-laws. But I said not to invite mine as they live 200 miles away

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 21/07/2024 02:09

I don't get it. Are your friends rather thick?

JustJoinedRightNow · 21/07/2024 02:12

That sounds so frustrating. I think I would have to be petty and just keep correcting them "our birthday" etc

scoobiedew · 21/07/2024 02:14

If people think it's your sister's birthday party only and not a joint birthday, obviously the invites/communications weren't clear enough. Your friends and family aren't trying to wind you up or exclude you on purpose I'm sure

pinkyredrose · 21/07/2024 02:14

That is super weird! Ask her went she thinks it's only her birthday not a joint one.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 21/07/2024 02:16

Who organised it and invited the friends? What did the invitation say?

TwinklyNight · 21/07/2024 02:44

Could you jokingly say "Hey, I'm one of the Jones sisters too you know"

maudelovesharold · 21/07/2024 02:52

If anyone else refers to it as your sister’s Birthday, just say ‘yes, and what a coincidence - mine’s on the same day!’

Putdownthatglassgotoyoga · 21/07/2024 03:12

It's so weird, you're not being unreasonable at all.

Monty27 · 21/07/2024 03:37

@Megssy Have invitations been sent and have you been invited to share the arrangements?
If it was my twin sister I'd have ensured clarity who's throwing the party. Like, both twins.

PoopedAndScooped · 21/07/2024 03:40

Why is your sister having a party and not you?

daisychain01 · 21/07/2024 03:51

Are you identical twins?

that makes it even more weird and thick

I thought twins tended to look out for each other - doesn't your twin make it really clear that you share a birthday probably within minutes of each other just for the hard of understanding. Doesn't that matter to her? I'd be really hurt, YANBU.

AnnaL94 · 21/07/2024 04:04

PoopedAndScooped · 21/07/2024 03:40

Why is your sister having a party and not you?

Have you not read the first line of the OP?

Having a weekend away for our 40 th next year.

CostcoHotDog · 21/07/2024 04:06

I don't think your relationship issues are as separate as you think.

But yeah, your friends are weird and should be calling your sister out on her nonsense.

Lookingforthecoffeerevels · 21/07/2024 04:09

That's weird. YANBU

MissedItByThisMuch · 21/07/2024 04:41

Well it all hinges on who did the inviting and what the invitations said surely? Presumably they made it seem like she was organising/hosting an event for her birthday? Otherwise all your friends and family are being weird in the same way at the same time which doesn’t make sense.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/07/2024 05:11

This is super weird and maybe reconsider inviting your in laws? Can you ask your friends outright why they keep on referring to it as such. I would wonder if it is your sister, who had planted this seed and said oh it’s my birthday, I’m organising it and I’ve invited Megssy.

Thebellofstclements · 21/07/2024 05:15

"I said not to invite mine"
Sounds as though you aren't the one organising the party and inviting people, so not really your party.

diktat · 21/07/2024 05:16

”What are you talking about! It’s a JOINT party for twins. Did you even read the invite? 🤣”

BananaSpanner · 21/07/2024 05:21

Clearly, she’s arranged the party and invited people
to celebrate ‘her’ birthday. Your problem should be with your sister not your friends. Maybe she’s done all the organising and is fed up of you just expecting to share all the benefits (you say you’re not that close, I’m presuming there is a backstory).

I think your own sister sees you as an invitee that happens to also have a birthday the same day rather than one of the hosts.

garlictwist · 21/07/2024 05:23

My sister and I have the same birthday (though are not twins). This year she had a party on our birthday to which I and our family and friends were invited. It was very definitely her party not mine as she organised it. Have you organised this one? If so then I think it's odd it's not your party too.

autienotnaughti · 21/07/2024 05:48

Then the invite must have been for your sister not both of you?

I'd tell people you know it's a joint celebration right?

Bring it up make sure people know it's for both of you. Tell those who are going.

Is there cake? Are you involved in planning?

TheSandgroper · 21/07/2024 06:10

Well, if you get there, have dinner and everyone sings “Happy birthday, dear Sis” then moves on to the rest of the evening, won’t you feel like a chump.

I think you need a very dispassionate look at how this celebration will go before committing because I don’t see the word “share” in your post coming from your sisters end. You could be setting yourself up for a world of hurt.

AgentJohnson · 21/07/2024 06:12

Who’s organising this ‘joint’ celebration? Are non joint friends invited?

For back ground we have a strained relationship but despite this have a very close (or so I thought) set of friends and always kept are issues separate.

I’m thinking your issues might not have been as separate as you thought they were.

The frosty relationship between you and your sister has definitely impacted the dynamics of your friendship group and if attendees are referring to the birthday party as just your sister’s party, then you know exactly where their allegiances lie.

CheeseMakesMyHeartMelt · 21/07/2024 06:31

Are you putting equal effort into organising the event?
It sounds like your sister is organising her 40th birthday and you have been invited. You need to clarify if it is a joint celebration to avoid any confusion on the day.

Maria1979 · 21/07/2024 06:38

Megssy · 21/07/2024 02:02

Just that really...

Having a weekend away for our 40 th next year. Same group of friends and obviously same family. But my friends keep referring to it as my twin sisters birthday and not mine 🤔. Tonight a joint friend said we would have to have a drink at a later date since we were going away for my twin sister's birthday. Im super irritated by this. Aibu? It's weird right?

For back ground we have a strained relationship but despite this have a very close (or so I thought) set of friends and always kept are issues separate

The only reason I can think for the distinction is that she is inviting her in-laws. But I said not to invite mine as they live 200 miles away

Obviously your sister has made it clear that this is HER party. My younger brother was born on the same day as I, he still has his party (I don't like to celebrate my birthday). So if you want a party go ahead and organise it. You're not 7 years old so your sister can organise a party for herself and you should not insist on it being your party (everyone knows it's your birthday as well) or people will think you're childish and immature.