If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

[Eastereggmadness]

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

This is a very judgmental thread! Until you’ve been single and gone through all the difficulty of feeling like you don’t belong in every social situation or set-up that is designed for couples, you really don’t know. Showing children a functional, loving relationship even if it isn’t that of their parents is also very important.

Being a single parent is incredibly hard and if you can meet someone who everyone loves, why on Earth shouldn’t you have that opportunity, for both you and your children.

What about difficult times?
It's all well and good to focus on being independent and enjoying that aspect of the single life but what about going through serious illness or elderly parents? Going through that on your own can be 10 times harder.

Does not mean everything is easier with a husband!!

Did you ever read about the statistic that when a woman had cancer that’s the time her husband is most likely to leave her?

I’d never remarry. I’d maybe have another relationship but definitely not marriage as I’d want all my assets to go to my child on my death and not to complicate things.

Absolutely never. And not for the sake of the kids either. I would never live with another adult male. If I had another relationship separate houses and definitely no marriage

Nobody said nobody should ever remarry. People are saying what they think they would or would not do. As I said in my post, my experience of having a step parent was very negative and it was clouded my relationship with the other parent forever. I wouldn’t do it to my children.

This.

💯 agree to this. From someone who had to live with a strange adult male from age 13.

No, I have quite a dim view on men and would not want go through the horrors of online dating again.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm
A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient, according to a study that examined the role gender played in so-called "partner abandonment." The study also found that the longer the marriage the more likely it would remain intact.

I have some divorced friends. Each time they meet someone the person is an utter twat. Not sure there’s many decent single men out there so I think it’s a no, plus not sure many men would want to live with me anyway. But who knows what the future could hold for any of us?

I might’ve when I was younger, but I’m almost 60, and I have lots to keep me busy, so unless someone happened along who completely blew me away, no.

Definitely not.

It does seem a little mercenary but I like to think this poster as Charlotte Lucas who will be amused by her new husbands ridiculous foibles she puts up with to ensure she has a secure retirement.

I was widowed a few years ago. I am still very much in the depths of grief and get incredibly lonely but I don't think I will ever actively look for a new partner. I have two young children that won't stay with anybody else so I wouldn't have the opportunity anyway!! I'd also be worried about picking the wrong person and ending up in a dysfunctional relationship.
Once my kids are older I fully intend to start living my life, seeing the world, doing hobbies I'm not able to do at the moment. If I happen to meet someone then that would be lovely but I don't think I will seek out a relationship and I will never live with a man again!

Yes , I would. And have.

Absolutely not. I don't want to have any more children and inheritance issues become too problematic with remarriage.

When I was asked this many years ago I said no, never and that’s exactly how I feel now at 70.
I would be perfectly happy on my own with the dog, and no longer having to put someone else first while never being the first thing in his life.

I don't think you can truly know until it has happened to you

I agree with this. Yes, you can have an idea but the wonderful thing about life is that it often surprises you in pleasant ways.

I will always remember a thread on here about a woman who lost her husband young (she had kids too) and it was a brutal time. A few years later she met someone at work who she then went on to have another baby with and was very happy. She posted when they had just met and came back to update that they had got married and were expecting their first child together.

I thought that was rather lovely.

So glad someone's said this.

It can be crushingly lonely living your life without an adult partner. Friends are all very well, but they can't always be there for you when you need them because they have their own families that come first, quite rightly.
I lived nearly 10 years on my own after my partner left me. It was so hard having to process hard emotions after traumatic events like death or ill health without someone that loves you and is available to support you. Coming home after a shit day and not having an adult to talk things through with because all your friends are understandably dealing with their families. Weekends spent almost entirely alone when DC is with their dad because everyone else is understandably spending time with their own families. Christmases after your child has gone to their dad's and you're alone because all around you are with their husbands and DC have been some of my saddest times.
I have great friends but as they all have young families, they can't always be there when I need some support and I understand that. Doesn't stop it being hard.

I've now met someone who has quite simply changed my life. I feel cared for, important, supported, loved and listened to. He is not involved in any way with my child and I would never move a man into their home, but I think until you have experienced that loneliness, it's quite naive to think you'd just crack on and not be affected.

Id date, and I would have a relationship - but not marriage. I'm self sufficient and don't need to be married.

Apart from the fact I want whats mine to go to my children and not someone else or their children

Yes, but my bar is very high and he’d have to be a financial equal to protect my kids inheritance.

My husband is utterly wonderful, I’ve never had to compromise myself and no “training” required, he enhances my life in every way and brings out the best in me. I hope if heaven forbid he died, I’d be lucky enough to find something similar a second time.

I’ve read that statistically, those with happy marriages are more likely to remarry if widowed, if your marriage is a bit crap I can see why you wouldn’t bother!

I definitely don't want to go through dating again, so the only way I would have another relationship would be if it happened naturally, like with someone who was already a friend.

I am getting divorced. I would only get married again if one particular person asked me and my now adult DC were okay about it, which they would be.

I would date. Id happily have lots of sex..I would never remarry or live with anyone again. I have no interest in comprising or sharingu space with anyone.