To think if he wanted a second date, I'd have heard by now?

[KookyUmberQuoter]

I went on a first date with a guy from an app 5 days ago. Date lasted around 2 hours, it was a walk in the park (literally, not figuratively!) and I made sure I had an easy out.

He looked a bit nervous at the start but then warmed up. It wasn't flirty but I'm someone who needs time to warm up. We had a great chat, made jokes and seemed to have lots in common.

At the end of it we just quickly hugged and said 'take care, bye!' he didn't suggest a second date or say anything about seeing me again.

I've not heard from him since. I'm possibly clutching at straws here but maybe he thought I wasn't interested? I was the one to end the date first and I didn't flirt or say anything about meeting again.
However part of me just thinks, if he'd been interested, I'd have a message by now.

Also I think you can contact him without actually asking to see him again. For example you could make up a question, like what was that book you said you were reading? What was the name of that really nice tree we were admiring? What was that cafe you told me was really good I forgotten the name? That way you've established contact, he knows you're not blanking him, and the ball is then in his court to ask you out again.

Right ,my dh was a one night stand we had sex before we even had a date
According to some posters it should have been an easy shag and nothing else yet 20 years two kids later here we are .

Oh I have only just spotted your update here. Turns out I was right!

Yup there’s a clear lack of common sense here.

Well there you go then! Well done for making the first move. Hope your second date goes well.

So you were both thinking the same thing of each other 😁

Maybe the OP is a "wet lettuce" too - in which case they might live happily ever after ...??!! Or it might go absolutely nowhere.

But I have no idea, neither do you - & most importantly, nor does the OP as yet.

Stop it with these weird bloody rules from The Perfect Wife Manual 1954 ...

Why would you pursue a man who has no interest in you?

My point is that she says she might have been offputting to him by ending the date early. And she said he seemed nervous. So he could have been sitting thinking he liked her, but that she didn't seem interested. Men can be shy & uncertain too, you know ...!!

Yes he might have no interest in her - but equally he might!

Your implication is what exactly? That him replying - saying he hadn't messaged as he wasn't sure she was keen, but that he would like to see her again - in actual fact REALLY means he's not remotely interested in her in the slightest, but is just after a quick shag??? As, of course, all men are like that unless you wait to be "pursued" ...??? I admire your mind-reading abilities!

You have no idea how interested he is in OP.

Well done OP. Hope the second date goes well. Keep us up to date and ignore the naysayers

Do you get some kind of perverse pleasure in putting the boot in?
You have no idea wether he is inerrstedd in the Op at all ,only that he hasent followed your rules about dating that you have made up in your head and haven't shared with anyone 🙄🙄

He clearly is interested.

Some of the hyperbole used on this thread is hilarious - chasing, pursuing, desperate, etc over one bloody text!! It’s hardly baby reindeer territory

And if they have a second date and it doesn’t work out - what’s such a big issue?

Yes he might ‘want a shag’ but adult make their own choices. Just coz he wants doesn’t mean he gets or maybe the OP will want sex with him. She’s an adult woman not a 1950’s Stepford Wife waiting to be wooed

It’s like the last 50+ years of feminism passed half of MN by

Bitter and twisted?

The world has moved on from some stereotypes..Not all men are tarred with the same brush.

I agree that most men will ask a woman out if they're interested, and obstacles arent an issue. Some will agree if she asks him out, and there are no better options at the time, but he won't be overly invested. Some may even ask out a bit later as a sort of backup plan. Others may be rejection phobic themselves, or just like women to chase them. It could be any of the above.

There are genuinely some men who won't follow up if they think you're nt interested, maybe burned in the past, lack self confidence etc.

It is impossible to know.

Quite - unless anyone has a crystal ball, we'll just have to wait and see!

If you can’t take a “rejection” after one two hour date, you should seriously think if you should be embarking on a longer relationship.
How have and would you react after say 10 dates and after an initiate date if a guy doesn’t want to pursue anymore?

That's great op! Hope your 2nd date goes well, and that it works out! It looks like you'll need to be straight up with this one, so there's no more crossed wires.

So interested he ghosted her since the date.

Again what do you get out of putting the boot in ?
Go away and make some more daft rules up known only ti yourself 🙄🙄

“Ghosting” means never replying to messages again. How has he ghosted her, if he replied to her text?

Ah perfect! This is why if in doubt message - if a guy likes you he won't be put off by it and if he is, then is he really the sort of man you want to date!?

So how is that any skin off your nose? The OP is comfortable with messaging him, why the sneering?

Absolutely. If a man is put off by a proactive woman then he’s not worth it anyway