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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if he wanted a second date, I'd have heard by now?

227 replies

KookyUmberQuoter · 20/07/2024 13:51

I went on a first date with a guy from an app 5 days ago. Date lasted around 2 hours, it was a walk in the park (literally, not figuratively!) and I made sure I had an easy out.

He looked a bit nervous at the start but then warmed up. It wasn't flirty but I'm someone who needs time to warm up. We had a great chat, made jokes and seemed to have lots in common.

At the end of it we just quickly hugged and said 'take care, bye!' he didn't suggest a second date or say anything about seeing me again.

I've not heard from him since. I'm possibly clutching at straws here but maybe he thought I wasn't interested? I was the one to end the date first and I didn't flirt or say anything about meeting again.
However part of me just thinks, if he'd been interested, I'd have a message by now.

OP posts:
Mls1984btc · 21/07/2024 12:12

Fabulous news OP! Well done 👏

SlashBeef · 21/07/2024 13:08

Woop!

Foolosophy · 21/07/2024 13:36

That made me happy😊

johnson39 · 21/07/2024 14:16

KookyUmberQuoter · 21/07/2024 09:28

Omg.. he's just replied saying he'd like to meet again and he'd gotten the impression I wasn't interested!!

Happy for you 😊

RivkaTheBold · 21/07/2024 14:20

KookyUmberQuoter · 21/07/2024 09:28

Omg.. he's just replied saying he'd like to meet again and he'd gotten the impression I wasn't interested!!

Hurray!

LegendInMyOwnLunchtime · 21/07/2024 14:20

Good.

Don’t be such a weed in making your views known in future.

ruffler45 · 21/07/2024 15:23

KookyUmberQuoter · 21/07/2024 09:28

Omg.. he's just replied saying he'd like to meet again and he'd gotten the impression I wasn't interested!!

See look what happens when you stick your head above the parapet !!

Have fun, look forward to updates..

Mayyay · 21/07/2024 16:45

Yes!!!!

Grazianoscubanheel · 21/07/2024 17:21

Well the guy is a complete bell end. He said he thought you werent interested, but he never messaged you, so by his logic you would also have thought he wasnt interested as he didnt message you. If he was bothered he would have taken the lead and not waited for you to break. He's a wet lettuce which doesnt bode well.

Despair1 · 21/07/2024 17:28

HebburnPokemon · 20/07/2024 18:10

This. Life is too short.

Show quote history

Totally agree

Despair1 · 21/07/2024 17:30

Word of advice OP, try not to overanalyse (I'm guilty of that myself). Enjoy

RivkaTheBold · 21/07/2024 17:30

I think he sounds like he's been burnt before. Keep us posted OP

Thursdaygirl · 21/07/2024 18:36

Yay!!!

EleanorMc67 · 21/07/2024 18:59

There you go!! Told it was worth messaging him! Hope it goes well! I was the first person my partner messaged & met up with when he started online dating - we've now been together 15 years ... (though sadly I had to spend a couple of years online before I met him!!!) 😊

x2boys · 21/07/2024 19:39

Grazianoscubanheel · 21/07/2024 17:21

Well the guy is a complete bell end. He said he thought you werent interested, but he never messaged you, so by his logic you would also have thought he wasnt interested as he didnt message you. If he was bothered he would have taken the lead and not waited for you to break. He's a wet lettuce which doesnt bode well.

Just stop i hate it when mumsnet try and jeopardise a potential new relationship because the man did,it follow the rules thst he didn't know about
Maybe it will work maybe it won't

ThatsCute · 21/07/2024 19:45

x2boys · 21/07/2024 19:39

Just stop i hate it when mumsnet try and jeopardise a potential new relationship because the man did,it follow the rules thst he didn't know about
Maybe it will work maybe it won't

Show quote history

Already time to LTB, apparently. 😂

VividQuoter · 21/07/2024 19:51

as someone who got a total happy date and stayed together from date one and we are married now and for life together, and yes, he called me and so on, I would say the opposite advice. If you are actually curious, just ask him.

If he rejects you, so what. You feel a bit rejected anyway. Information can be processed without rejection.

Sunnyandsilly · 21/07/2024 20:25

VividQuoter · 21/07/2024 19:51

as someone who got a total happy date and stayed together from date one and we are married now and for life together, and yes, he called me and so on, I would say the opposite advice. If you are actually curious, just ask him.

If he rejects you, so what. You feel a bit rejected anyway. Information can be processed without rejection.

Prob worth reading the thread. 😳

VividQuoter · 21/07/2024 20:59

Very good, lady . You should listen to us, all dating site daters/being married 14 years and related for life :) so glad

Createausername1970 · 21/07/2024 21:03

Grazianoscubanheel · 21/07/2024 17:21

Well the guy is a complete bell end. He said he thought you werent interested, but he never messaged you, so by his logic you would also have thought he wasnt interested as he didnt message you. If he was bothered he would have taken the lead and not waited for you to break. He's a wet lettuce which doesnt bode well.

You are a bundle of joy 🙊

OP - see, it was worth just sending a message. Good luck when you next see him.

And even if this one doesn't work out, just remember that it is OK to say "I had a nice time". It's not chasing, or looking desperate. Some of the comments on this thread have been bizarre.

Dressinggowntime · 21/07/2024 21:08

Jesus Christ. All you’ve done is prolong the inevitable. Guys will play along if you show enough interest because they think you’ll be an easy shag and an ego massage. Not sure why everyone has cheered you on when you’re clearly low on confidence. He’ll just use you and dump you if you carry on like this and then your confidence will be on the floor

ThatsCute · 21/07/2024 21:18

Why does telling the date that she had a good time = easy shag?

I asked my DH out, wasn’t an easy shag, didn’t get dumped or used, and here I am 23 years later, with the same man. 🤷‍♀️

2inthestink · 21/07/2024 21:19

Dressinggowntime · 21/07/2024 21:08

Jesus Christ. All you’ve done is prolong the inevitable. Guys will play along if you show enough interest because they think you’ll be an easy shag and an ego massage. Not sure why everyone has cheered you on when you’re clearly low on confidence. He’ll just use you and dump you if you carry on like this and then your confidence will be on the floor

I'm pleased someone gets it. The bloke clearly couldnt give a monkeys but with an apology text he's thinking he might get a shag out of it.

Tarquina · 21/07/2024 21:23

I bet you he is asking his best friend right now, what should I do I really like this woman but she hasn't been in contact since we met. I don't want to pass to her or annoy her or make her think I'm a stalker, surely if she liked me she'd have been in touch by now?

x2boys · 21/07/2024 21:26

Dressinggowntime · 21/07/2024 21:08

Jesus Christ. All you’ve done is prolong the inevitable. Guys will play along if you show enough interest because they think you’ll be an easy shag and an ego massage. Not sure why everyone has cheered you on when you’re clearly low on confidence. He’ll just use you and dump you if you carry on like this and then your confidence will be on the floor

Why because he's not following some nonsense rules ,you and other posters have made up ?stop trying to jeopardise a potential relationship you know nothing about this man
Who knows wether it will work out but you don't have to put the boot in before anythings happened.