Skinny privilege

[Chatterbox98]

Like most people my weight has gone up and down. I am currently bigger than I am happy with ( working on changing this) however I have noticed that people do look and seem to treat you differently when slightly bigger. I never believed skinny privilege was a thing but I think it absolutely is.

Just wondered others thoughts or am just sensitive as currently not happy with how I feel and look.

yabu - its not a thing get over yourself
yanbu - it is a thing

It absolutely isn't. I have been on steroids and have had my weight change by 6 stone in a year. No, it isn't. I am not treated any differently at all by strangers

No.

Privilege isn't the right word. If you're black, you can never attain white privilege. If you're fat and don't like the way you are treated because of it you have every option to lose the weight and gain that 'skinny privilege'.

I've been thin and fat at various times. Never noticed a difference in how people treat me.

I haven't been treated any different from when I was bmi 22 to 30 but I dress well, have nice hair and a pretty slim face whatever size I am. I'm in the middle of that now. I think if you're very obese it may be different though, or if you dress like a sack of spuds

I’m overweight and a size 16, have been since I had my first DC. Can’t say I’ve noticed anything different, no one’s even said anything. I guess it depends what you mean by slightly bigger though, at a size 16 I’m definitely more than ‘slightly bigger’.

It's a thing.

I've been morbidly obese, and then skinny and underweight due to anorexia. People treat you way, way better when you're thin.

I wasn't more confident or nicer when thin either, which is one excuse people give for the phenomenon. I was hangry and an utter bitch when I was thin, active in eating disorder... People were still a billion times nicer to me. More patient, more automatically kind, chattier. Loved complimenting how fit and healthy I looked even though I was on my way to a quick death (ended up in hospital though so thankfully that didn't happen).

Even just getting back to a healthier weight, I notice a downturn in how nice people were to me. Very depressing.

Your appearance plays a role in life, sure. So does general "aura". If you're bright, smiling and energetic people respond differently than if you're slumped and exhausted.

I wouldn't call it skinny privelige though. By and large, weight is under your control and a result of your choices.

I don’t think I’d call it privilege as such and I don’t think it’s so much that people treat you differently.

but I’m heavier than I want to be (recovering from a surgery that will hopefully help me a bit with that). All around me are “naturally skinny” people, wearing lovely clothes and eating and drinking what they want with abandon. I can’t find anything that fits and always look shite.

it’s easier if you’re skinnier to look and feel good. But that goes without saying anyway.

I dont believe so but understand that lots of people think there is such a thing

I think that people act differently when they're not overweight and this in turn affects how others are with you.

Thats my experience anyway

I don’t know if privilege is the right word but notably I’ve never been spat at, told someone would kill themselves if they looked like me, had food and drinks thrown at me and been openly mocked since I lost a considerable amount of weight. 🤷‍♀️

I think there's an element of how attractive you are generally. An attractive but overweight person could go from being invisible to 'hot' but a plain person remains plain with a different body shape. I do agree though you are treated differently when slim. Not necessarily nicer but with more respect and enthusiasm, like people want to be around you more.

I agree, since putting in 5 stone I've noticed a visible difference to how people treat me, in some cases they don't treat me anything as I seem to have suddenly become invisible

Its a real thing, there have been lots of studies in to it.

And its not just general treatment by strangers, it’s how you may be judged in the workplace, it’s how accessible buying clothes your size in the shop, how restaurants etc are laid out creating issues for larger people.

I’ve been fat and thin and 💯 notice the difference. I went from a size 18 to a 10/12. I was always catcalled but the tone has changed abuse to sexual harassment. Also the dynamic in my female friendships has changed.

www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/diet-nutrition/a35047908/what-is-thin-privilege/

Privilege isn't the right term for it. Otherwise we'd have pretty privilege, or intelligent privilege, or non-glasses-wearing privilege as well, wouldn't we?

Attractiveness to others does give you a slight initial advantage, but most people will look beyond appearance to the person within. And if they don't - well they aren't worth bothering with.

Incidentally, DH is built like a racing snake, and people always assume there must be something wrong with him to make him so thin. He doesn't get any advantage out of it at all.

I don’t think people treat you differently if you’re fat or slim, I think it’s our own perception that makes us think so.

For many years I was fat, size 20, BMI over 30. I was constantly paranoid that people were judging me for my size - when they more than likely weren’t, it was just me projecting my insecurities about my weight.

I lost the weight, and have been a size 10, BMI around 21 for a long time now and it never occurs to me that anyone is judging me about my size. Ever. Because I’m happy and confident with my size, it doesn’t occur to me that anyone else will have a problem with it.

So no, I don’t think people treat you differently, but how we feel about ourselves changes depending on how confident we are about our size and weight and we can easily translate that into how other people are viewing us as well.

This is true and it’s called pretty privilege. Which (I hate saying this) I realise I have; but didn’t actually know I did when I was bigger - because of the issues I faced when being larger.

the world is shit, tbh.

Apparently it makes a difference in job interviews.

There are also studies showing fat people get less time spent on them by medical professionals in hospital.

I guess it's not something you would necessarily perceive yourself. Getting 2 mins less time. You might think it's a busier day or a quicker professional or not even notice. Wheras someine timing all the appointments across a week and weighing everyone might spot a trend.

I mean Sharon down the road will probably treat you the same but it’s a fact that employers often overlook larger people as many serious studies have been done on this. I mean if Sharon down the road still invites you round for a cuppa and will have you round to a BBQ she is hosting that’s lovely but it won’t help your career.

Could it be partly down to feeling a bit down or self conscious about your current weight?

At Uni I had my teeth fixed. Immediately after getting them done everyone was so nice to me. As quite a shy, introverted soul I wasn't used to people smiling at me, strangers talking to me etc. I was convinced it was because of my teeth.

Turns out, no-one noticed my teeth - my friends were confused when I'd told them my theory, they hadn't realised I'd had any work done (to be fair, in hindsight it was a minor fix, but teenage anxieties were definitely skewing my perception).

What my friends had noticed is that I seemed to be really outwardly happy, relaxed and confident, smiling and, for want of a better expression, just giving out positive vibes.

I think people can sense when you are self conscious, in a negative space or feeling under confident. I have no doubt that people treat others giving off that energy differently, probably without even realising it.

This is hardly news.
Lots of research studies have been done into the way fat people are treated worse than non fat people. Numerous stereotypes used of fat people being stupid, lazy, dirty, etc. Can frequently be seen on display here on MN as everywhere else. Affects fat women more than men because women are judged more on appearance than men but affects fat men too.
(This does not refer to people who are overweight but people who are significantly heavy.)

I have been both, I think people need to feel they can blame others so they don't have to think it's them

This is true. I mean I’m fat but I’m also comically social awkward so…I mean it could be either of those things 😂

Now it skinny people being blamed. Last week.it was blue eyed people

There are economic studies on this showing that for women it makes a big difference. Slimmer women get paid more and promoted more - the difference in earnings from being slim is equivalent to a university degree.

Depressingly, there is no difference for men.

In my adult life (age 48 now) my size has ranged from size 22 to size 8 to size 20 now. I'm given the benefit of the doubt when thinner and am treated more favourably. When fatter, I'm seen as more of an irritation sadly.