Skinny privilege

[Chatterbox98]

Like most people my weight has gone up and down. I am currently bigger than I am happy with ( working on changing this) however I have noticed that people do look and seem to treat you differently when slightly bigger. I never believed skinny privilege was a thing but I think it absolutely is.

Just wondered others thoughts or am just sensitive as currently not happy with how I feel and look.

yabu - its not a thing get over yourself
yanbu - it is a thing

I think some suspect I'm a class A drug addict or criminal

oh goodness, put that thought out of your mind. I don't suppose the average normal person actually thinks like that. Most people are compassionate, even if you get the odd one, but then again that's their problem. If I see someone who is very thin, I just see them as someone who has inherited their build from their parents which is very often the way. We're all a product of our parentage to some extent aren't we.

I worked in a designer store on Bond Street and what was quite shocking to my 17 yr old self is how admired my anorexic colleague was by the patrons. Whatever she picked out, held against her, put together they just trusted her judgment and gazed at her approvingly.

Used to be bigger in my early 20s and was utterly invisible. When I lost weight I got more attention, both positive and negative.

This is definitely a thing
I've recently lost a decent amount of weight and notice people treating me very differently
However .. I'm also happier in myself
I'm making more effort with clothes , make up etc
I'm also more likely to respond to a smile or a " morning" where as before it would be good up and ignore everyone I could dragging the dog away from anyone who looked like they'd want a chat

@daisychain01 thank you, that's kind. I think with me it's more that I've ED so I'm not really 'meant' to be this thin. Like it kind of doesn't look natural. It's still horrible feeling judged, albeit occasionally, bc of your looks or size.
It feels like it's nearly always men I get that impression from. I like to think I would always treat people politely and warmly and assume the best. Unless they were lunging at me with a machete?!

As a general rule, if you are within the ‘acceptable’ size range, you’re going to have an easier time in life. Either by people being nicer to you, or simply blending in and not being a target for abuse.

Erm, tired, aching, sweaty, slow, out of breath, knowing that clothes dont fit right or are just want you could find to fit rather than being flattering because flattering clothes for very big people are quite expensive, poor quality and often really dont look good

Great for your confidence.

People can really try as much as they can to make out people feel exactly the same being huge as they would once they lose weight but its not true. Its complete denial. I used to engage in this sort of denial myself so I have been there but if one is going to make really genuine and sustainable lifestyle choices about weight and diet and wellbeing that also includes being honest with yourself and understanding your psychology.

I don't think it's confidence like a lot of people are saying. I never feel more confident when I'm restricting/losing weight, if anything it is the opposite. Whatever I lose is never good enough in my head and I'm constantly obsessing about my size and certain features on my body that I hate. When I'm not restricting I don't get hyper-focused on my body and tend not to think about it all unless someone comments on it.

I do think the overall package matters though. I have a size 16/18 friend but she’s 5ft 11, very in proportion & has a beautiful face, she’s very Amazonian. She gets lots of positive attention.

Absolutely awful that you were treated like this

Treated differently by men definitely also see young.

Generally not that I've noticed but I guess there's also a difference between slightly overweight and obese

Can't say I've ever noticed. And I've yo-yoed between skinny and obese in my lifetime.

I'm pretty sure privilege was a stand alone word long before critical race theory.

Yes there is such a thing.

thank you for so many responses.

i could have/should have used a different word to privilege 🫣

its something I have noticed more and more recently as I have gained weight it’s simple things like people generally seem less friendly. However this could well because I am more self conscious so I am not as smiley etc.

I was interested to see if anyone else had experienced anything or had views on ‘skinny privilege’ I honestly do believe it’s a thing but I do think in my case my own low self esteem is playing a part.

Privilege. Another word becoming entirely meaningless due to over- and inappropriate use.
I'm devastated

I dunno about skinny privilege, but.
I've noticed in bike shops that I get treated like a certain type of cyclist that I am not. Based on appearances.

More fools them, I suppose.

It defo is a thing, not just skinny privilege but in general 'good looking' privilege

well my own experience is that I was very active even as a bigger person, so I was not tired, and I always wore what I wanted regardless of what a larger person “should” wear. I am still very sweaty 😂 and I am not in any denial about how I feel about myself. My personality is and always will be my strongest feature. However..;

looking at the external societal reasons you feel more confident -

clothes don’t fit right - because we live in a world engineered for thin people. Privilege.
No flattering clothes fit bigger people - see above. Privilege.
Clothes are expensive and poor quality - see above. Privilege.

we live in a world designed for thin people, so of course being outside of that realm makes some “uncomfortable” and put that down to their own feeling of ill ease; rather than that society isn’t inclusive to start with. So the concept of “confidence from losing weight” reinforces simply reinforces that world. When slimmer, we navigate the world more easily and consider it a boost to our self confidence but it is not. It’s simply that we conform to the idealised view of how people should look . It’s not about the individual here; and my experience or yours doesn’t change that. Neither does my personal level of self esteem or yours.

we need to consider why we can only feel comfortable in the world if we conform to a privileged set of ideals. It’s not about denial, it’s about allowing large people to exist in their bodies without that feeling of shame because TopShop doesn’t go past a size 16 or heroin chic is the current fashion etc

Of course it is. One person may deny it as they have not experienced it, but thousands have. It's been a subject of studies too. Look at this article and the studies it sites.

withinhealth.com/learn/articles/what-is-thin-privilege#resources

Of particular interest is the article about weight-based discrimination in medical settings.

Yeah, totally a thing - part of the bigger thing of "pretty privilege". I've been a size 16 and a 12 and strangers are nicer when it's 12. They're also nicer when I dress better, and when I do my makeup, and when I put the stuff on my hair so it's not one big frizz. I really have no eyebrows without pencil and if I don't bother with it I'm very plain and it's like an invisibility cloak. When I spend 5 min on the eyebrows I'm instantly about 50% better looking (nothing to stop traffic, but what you might just about call "pretty") and the difference in how people of both sexes treat me is amazing. Totally a thing. (Botox has made a difference too).

It's totally a thing

People react completely differently to bigger people

If I'm thin, everything I say is gospel

At a higher weight, it isn't

Sammy lady's experience isn't isolated I'm afraid

I had a friend who was a larger lady and the way she was treated when we went out was appalling. Absolutely terrible. Comments, laughs, jeers etc. Shocking.

Mostly by men, too

It’s absolutely real. I grew up very overweight and was bullied, had abuse thrown at me in the street by complete strangers, shop assistants and the like treat me like I was invisible etc. I’m a millennial and my teens years were all about ‘size zero’ so it wasn’t the best time to be heavy.

Ive been a normal healthy weight for years and it’s completely different. People are more friendly and helpful and I can walk down the street without people thinking it’s ok to insult me. I’m honestly surprised by those larger people who don’t feel others treat them differently.

I have never been morbidly obese and obviously this can and does change how people treat you - I've overheard some awful comments about morbidly obese men and women. It's honestly awful and heartbreaking.

Having said that, I have been super thin and obese and I think the difference has been my confidence levels. I am 12/14 now but I've been going to the gym so feel fit and strong and feel better in myself and I notice that people are a lot more smiley and interact with me more. When I was a low 12 but didn't have confidence I felt worse than I do now and I'm bigger. I didn't want to interact with the world and I found people retreating.

Being skinny is not a privilege it’s something you earn.