Skinny privilege

[Chatterbox98]

Like most people my weight has gone up and down. I am currently bigger than I am happy with ( working on changing this) however I have noticed that people do look and seem to treat you differently when slightly bigger. I never believed skinny privilege was a thing but I think it absolutely is.

Just wondered others thoughts or am just sensitive as currently not happy with how I feel and look.

yabu - its not a thing get over yourself
yanbu - it is a thing

Maybe people are treated differently due to the way they look- this could be weight, height, attractiveness etc. However, I don't believe this is privileged it just that we all treat people wi look like or aspire to difffernrly

“Pretty privilege” is absolutely a thing, 100%

This is true. Men treat you different, people in shops, women you meet for the first time all do a quick assessment when they meet you. When I’m skinny as I am now people fall over themselves to open doors, start up a conversation etc. Not so much when I’m a size 14+.

Funny one this.
i think sadly obese people will often get negative comments and fewer job offers etc because their weight is considered by most to be unhealthy and not the ‘norm’ but that doesn’t mean there’s necessarily skinny privilege.
I don’t think skinny people have privilege over overweight people in general. I’ve been skinny and bigger and had far more comments about my size as a size 6 than I did a size 14

'People were still a billion times nicer to me. More patient, more automatically kind, chattier. Loved complimenting how fit and healthy I looked even though I was on my way to a quick death (ended up in hospital though so thankfully that didn't happen).'

@Agix

I am so sorry that you went through that. Could people have been being extra nice to you, because they could see you were clearly unwell, and trying to make you feel better? I say this, because it is how my family acted, towards a relative with an eating disorder.

I have noticed when you're healthy thin (within bmi), alot of people will make unwanted comments , but when you're overweight they don't say a thing! It is somehow acceptable to tell a person they're "skinny" or make comments on what they won't be able to eat/manage eg "oh Sara won't eat chocolate" right infront of Sara who does, and puts away a whole slice of cake, shock horror! Nobody say "goodness you're a fat ass, and shouldn't be eating that biscuit."

It's not a privilege, it's an advantage. Not quite the same thing.

I don't think privilege is the right word. But I have noticed people treat me very different now I am 13 stone compared to 3 years ago when I was 9 stone.

I only became overweight when I became middle aged. I'm fairly invisible, but I'm fine with that. I didn't like getting attention when younger.

No it's not and im frankly sick and tired of people saying it is. ITS NOT. Can't people just stop commenting on weight.

I've never been fat (I have other health problems), but had overweight friends.
Definitely YANBU.

I wasn't aware of it until I became medically underweight due to illness. A couple of men who had never been anything more than casually friendly literally grabbed me at a party. Another, again only a casual friend, made a point of visiting and asking me out. It was creepy and quite an eye-opener. I had always been slim but comparatively invisible until my BMI dropped to 16.

Nothing is a privilege if it's available to all.

If you want skinny privilege, go ahead and lose weight!

So is losing weight available to all?

Sense of humour bypass, @LoneAndLoco ?

Well, generally yes. I appreciate that some medications make you gain weight and for some disability is a barrier to weight loss, but otherwise eating less is an option for all. In a situation where food is scarce, there aren't many overweight people!

It is somehow acceptable to tell a person they're "skinny" or make comments on what they won't be able to eat/manage eg "oh Sara won't eat chocolate" right infront of Sara who does, and puts away a whole slice of cake, shock horror! Nobody say "goodness you're a fat ass, and shouldn't be eating that biscuit."

But loads of people take skinny has a compliment so it doesn’t have the same impact as fat ass.

It absolutely is a thing! 5 years ago I was a size 24/26,I'm now a 16/18, having lost 90 lbs. I have definitely noticed a difference in the way people treat me. I don't get treated as if I'm invisible or of limited intelligence anywhere near as much now.

All the more reason if you have an ED that you don't need judgement about your appearance, that's only a very small % of who @BobbyBiscuits is as a human being. I hope you get whatever support you need and also that you aren't adversely affected by shallow thinkers out there especially any men who don't see beyond body image to the wonderful person beneath! They aren't the norm, but it can be difficult to discern who is who, men, or women for that matter

When I was slim, I got hit on a lot but my self esteem was low because I felt like I was just being objectified all the time. Being bigger I have more male friends now who seem to like me for my personality and it has made me feel a lot more confident. I haven’t really noticed a difference with how women treat me.

Fat women, it's your fault the world treats you like shit. Be more confident!!

There's a current trend on MN to argue the opposite, no matter how ridiculous they sound. If someone posted the sky was blue there would be posters falling over themselves to insist it wasn't actually, and that the OP should get her eyes checked.

I’ve recently lost a few stone and gone from an almost obese BMI to a comfortably healthy one. I do notice a huge difference to be honest. I don’t think it’s as significant as other kinds of privilege that people don’t have any choice in (race, gender etc) obviously, but it is noticeable to me.

I don’t think people are arguing that it’s about confidence just to be contrary. It just isn’t nice to think that the world is shallow, and people will be horrible or nice to you based on how much they want to shag you. They probably think it’s more pleasant to believe it’s in your control ie. your confidence.

Yes people don't want to think most people (perhaps even including them) are biased and unfair but there are studies showing this to be true? So why do they deny people's experiences of being treated badly?

It isnt a privileged set of ideals!!

Why would the world be designed for the morbidly obese, it shouldnt be.

Cant fit in airline seat - my problem.
Cant fit in a theatre seat - my problem

Also I forgot to say, I would have said I was active as a very big person and I was, for that size person, now having lost the weight, its night and day.

People who are supremely fit and healthy while also being morbidly obese are complete outliers, the vast majority are not. But pound to a penny, every single obese person will say 'oh Im fit and fat'.