Skinny privilege

[Chatterbox98]

Like most people my weight has gone up and down. I am currently bigger than I am happy with ( working on changing this) however I have noticed that people do look and seem to treat you differently when slightly bigger. I never believed skinny privilege was a thing but I think it absolutely is.

Just wondered others thoughts or am just sensitive as currently not happy with how I feel and look.

yabu - its not a thing get over yourself
yanbu - it is a thing

Its this

So there can be countless studies saying its a 'thing' but ultimately this is all subjective because the person who is overweight is framing things through their own self concious eyes

Ive gone from BMI 45 (probably more) to 25, it makes a difference in how you feel.

The Economist did a piece recently about the impact on weight and wages, skinnier women (pretty sure it was women and not people) earned more overall.

It’s always on the person too, no society. With comments such as - it’s your confidence now, your self esteem has improved.

A) the reasons for those (perceived) improvements are because you don’t have to navigate a world of discrimination against larger people now that you are slimmer. Which indicates that some level of shame exists for being larger which is lost when slimmer. A result of fat discrimination.

and b) I was always a confident larger lady. I had zero self esteem issues and loved myself dearly. Being slim has changed nothing about my personality.

YANBU.

I'm in a similar position to you. I lose and gain the same 6/7 stone over and over again. What I find is my opinion is more important when I'm a lower weight. People talk over me when I'm bigger or automatically dismiss what I'm saying as if my weight has an impact on my intelligence.

Another thing I find utterly bizarre is how everyone tells him how "well" I am when I'm restricting and how healthy I look. Like, I'm eating 600-800 calories a day, I'm exhausted, I feel sick and dizzy most of the time and I'm losing a stone a month or more. I know a lot of those things are not visible but the weight is. What I'm eating (or rather not eating) for lunch is. Surely people understand it is not healthy to skip meals, or eat the same things day after day, and lose weight so rapidly. I feel like being thin is far more important to most people than being healthy is.

Generally speaking the better off you are, the more likely you are to be slim, lower earners, people living in poverty are more likely to have weight problems, statistically speaking so you can infer that skinny people earn more

You could also argue it's a privilege to be able to access so much food that you would become overweight. Does money privilege outweigh thin privilege?

As shown by the above, the idea of privilege starts becoming nonsensical if you apply it to everything. Sure, if you're pretty you're treated better. You're also more likely to be sexually harassed though so...

I say this as someone who has been obese and am now a normal bmi. My weight is a consequence of my food choices. If something is under your control then surely by definition it is not a 'privilege'.

I do think people perceive you differently according to your weight. But they certainly treat you differently when you reach a certain age and become totally invisible.

Anyone who says it isn't a thing has clearly never experienced it or is delusional. We live in a patriarchal society and as much as everyone will go to great lengths to deny it, women are STILL judged on how physically attractive to men they are. So young, thin, beautiful women are treated better. Then it is a sliding scale based on age, thinness and beauty. When you're fat, ugly and old you are treated with disdain.

I know it’s a survey and lies dam lies and statistics and all that but I found a you gov survey about physical attractiveness yougov.co.uk/health/articles/35834-physical-appearance-todays-society

I will say people rarely enjoy hurting people unless they are dreadful people, so I think people are rarely truthful about what they think of others looks. Seen it on here with the what age do I look like posts, which should not be allowed. I never comment. Lots of cooing and compliments which are often stretching it and I always wonder about for the state of the mind of the poster. Have seen some people who look very obviously depressed over the years.

Not really. You might notice things more and you'll read too much into things when you're hyperfixated on a personal attribute like your weight.

Oh how naive

How is that naive?

Although I voted YANBU, I wonder if it's more a matter of self confidence?

People tend to get bigger as they get older, and many older ladies work in shops and service industries, so I think that could be a factor too.

Of course there's such a thing a pretty privilege!

I dont think being slim has increased my sexual harassment but just changed the tone of it. I still get the same thing shouted from cars, to the same extent.

before it was shame based but still concentrated around the same thing ie “fat arse”.

where as now it is “nice bubble butt”.

i would not have recognised the first type as sexual harassment when I was bigger but it absolutely is. I think people need to recognise they are being discriminated against and I am not receiving compliments vs abuse now. I was always experiencing cat calling.

I am currenty fat, but I wasn't always. I never take much notice of subtle behaviors of people, but I did have one incident after I had gained a significant amount of weight that had never happened to me while I was thin.

I was in a parking lot on the way to my car. There was one guy in his car in the parking lot about to drive off. He saw me, turned and drove his car right in front of me. He rolled down he window and yelled "Fat Pig!" at me. Then he rolled his window all the way back up and drove off.

I was both speechless and amusement. I think it would have hurt me if I had still cared more about my looks like I did when I was stilll thin.

I can only point to incidents such as these and thankfully this is the only one I can remember.

I don't think it's being thin per se - I think it's attractiveness. So it's a combination of weight, but also for example, a pretty face, nice hair, bigger breasts, good teeth, flattering clothing etc.

So, I'm not saying it doesn't exist but i think it's part of a general bias towards what is conventionally considered to be attractive. Same for men, but with different factors because different things are considered attractive in men, eg being muscular rather than being skinny, being tall.

I’ve been fat or very fat all my life. At times I’ve been a little slimmer due to immense efforts to lose weight - e.g. living on 800cals a day for a couple of years and exercising intensively. Hard to sustain that.

It was hell being a fat child. I would have done anything to change it but I didn’t know how. I was ridiculed - kids are not polite. I wanted to be sporty but I couldn’t do it! Tried starving myself then bingeing, felt so ashamed. It’s not so simple as saying you can change it. I’ve never succeeded. You can maybe lose a small amount not all the excess.

In contrast I have friends who are perfectly slim and very attractive. They seem to be treated like goddesses when we go out for a meal or something. People fall over themselves to be nice, everyone smiling and complimenting them. Both married very well-paid successful husbands, so have been able to pursue their own interests rather than worry about paying the next bill. Yes, that’s privileged.

I have noticed that negative comments about appearance are often made by men talking to a woman about other women in the area because these men believe they will have more of a chance with their conquest if they slam every other woman in the immediate area - and weight is an easy insult to make.
More fool the woman who is flattered by these abusive comparisons.

Less skinny privilege, more fat consequences.

I say this as someone who has been obese and experienced this first hand.

When I was single I found that the majority of men preferred slim women (not that I cared), so that's the only difference I can think of. If someone is excessively thin or excessively big it might resister with me but only for a second and why would I treat them differently?

To everyone saying people are more confident and have better self esteem now you are slimmer, why would that be? What was wrong with being bigger? Examine that feeling and you’ll understand why society prefers slimmer people.

It IS a thing. And it is privilege.

Fat people are often overlooked for jobs, fat people don’t get the same treatment when it comes to healthcare as thin people. Fat people get abused for being fat.

You only have to read the regular fat bashing threads on here (no doubt this will turn into one) to know how fat people are assumed to lazy.

Hmm. Getting my hard hat on because this is going to sound very up myself and like a stealth boast. But here goes.
I am currently roughly 3stone over the recommended weight for my height yet i get chatted up and complimented continusely. Just to stress, I don't mean here and there, it is constant. From strangers, to colleagues and so on. I've been an outpatient for several months and have had nurses and Dr's comment on my looks. I can only assume if you have what society considers a beautiful face, then this apparently negates the extra pounds carried?