Skinny privilege

[Chatterbox98]

Like most people my weight has gone up and down. I am currently bigger than I am happy with ( working on changing this) however I have noticed that people do look and seem to treat you differently when slightly bigger. I never believed skinny privilege was a thing but I think it absolutely is.

Just wondered others thoughts or am just sensitive as currently not happy with how I feel and look.

yabu - its not a thing get over yourself
yanbu - it is a thing

Bloody hell, deeply unhelpful and if it was that easy, we’d all be the ideal weight. Food addiction is the same as any other addiction except you obviously can’t go cold turkey, so it’s pretty difficult to tackle.

I haven’t experienced being treated differently when being very overweight. 10st gone (yes, I was huge, combination of being unable to move much post mobility limiting accident/serious health issues). I still managed to get new jobs/promotions throughout. The only comments I ever had were from my mum who was worried and my DH who was concerned about my future being cut short.

Edit: my GP never mentioned my weight throughout the period of being obese. Never blamed any of my issues on my weight. Am I just lucky?

I think it depends on your GP. The last one I saw was a Locum and really nice. He read the X-rays the hospital had taken and offered me an MRI and pain relief since I still had pain in my knee. I turned down the MRI and pain relief because it was getting better but he made it clear I need to come back if I start feeling pain again because I should not have to live with pain no matter what my weight is.

He'd actually read my notes and was wary about prescribing me more weight loss medication due to my history of anorexia and disordered eating and because I'd lost just over a stone in 3.5 weeks. He did eventually prescribe me them but he has put notes on my file pointing out my history and the rapid weightloss and advised them not be prescribed again at my next check-up if the weight loss hasn't steadied/slowed down.

Yeah I think it’s a thing although I’m not sure I would call it a privilege - perhaps an appreciation/admiration of certain body types over others? As others have said, a body type isn’t usually something you are just born with - it comes mostly from lifestyle. I wasn’t ‘lucky’ to be skinny - it took effort.

I am a normal weight now but I did lose weight a couple of years ago - down to an underweight BMI by definition (around 18). I didn’t look too skinny, except to a couple of people. Still had boobs/shape. I got many compliments on how I looked, my lovely outfits etc.

Now BMI is ‘normal’ and fuck all comments about appearance or outfits

The ones in my current surgery are nice too, although my previous ones were awful. I still get anxiety attacks in the waiting room because of the effect my old doctor had!

I stand up and advocate for myself now though, if needed, though I’ve not really had to as they’ve generally been great. I also have a history of an ED.

There is definitely such a thing. I'm small and am used to assumptions being made re health and even intelligence.

Yes, me too. Do you find people treat you like a little kid? I am a grown woman with dcs, but the amount of people that will call me terms of endearment but in a way that seems like I'm a lost little waif! 😂

Can overweight people just stop it with the term ' skinny'. What you mean is normal weight people, not skinny, not under weight, just average normal weight for their frame.

And also skinny people. They do exist.

In my limited experience (have only ever been slim) people just treat you like you’re younger, because they tend to assume petite slim women in their thirties are actually in their twenties - which - unless you’re on a dating app - is the opposite of a privilege.

I would say it is. I was about a size 14 and cant say I noticed anything, then I put on a lot of weight and at my biggest I was a 22. I lost it all about 6 years ago and despite being in my early 50's now (the so called "invisible age") I get far more positive interactions than I used to. Not just from men, although that is a thing but women too seem more pleasant and keen to talk and get to know me. It never ever happened when I was bigger.

I lost a very significant amount of weight (and thankfully kept it off) and yes, some people do speak to you and treat you differently (better). However, I realised that was lent because I was thinner - it was because being thinner gave me far more confidence, made me less self-conscious, etc. It was that they were responding to, not being thin.

Slim or athletic or curvy but all healthy weight people, yes.

Skinny or thin or underweight people, no.

2% of the population. Mostly elderly.

I wouldn't call it privilege because it's available to everyone (I appreciate it might be harder for some people than others but there is no-one who can not be skinny, even if it may not be desirable for everyone).

I do think that broadly society judges overweight people harshly though because it is often conflated with laziness or lack of control.

I have been size 6 and size 14 (I am short so that was obese) other women were nicer to me when I was bigger. Now I am slimmer it feels like slightly bigger women are less friendly.

I went from just above the overweight line to just below it (in my early 50s) and I can’t believe how much difference its made. People are more polite, strangers are more welcoming and, for the first time in a decade, I’ve even turned the occasional head.

Do you mean people generally or just men? I’m also wondering if maybe it’s a confidence thing. Maybe you gave off more of an approachable, happy with yourself kind of vibe when you were a weight ‘you liked’. If not being skinny matters to you, maybe people mistake it for being a bit distant or stand-offish. Not your fault of course. We all have our foibles. It’s just a thought. Are you maybe being unfair on yourself about how you ‘think’ you look.

It's crazy though, because I always find having a fatter face usually makes people look younger. I have no idea why being very slim makes people treat you like you're younger. I have always been slim, and looked young for my age, but now I'm in my late 30s, and having lost some extra weight lately, I feel I finally look my age. Yet still some people treat me like I'm a kid. 😂 Maybe it's my mannerisms, I'm starting to get paranoid!

Mainly men but people in general.

i think you are likely right that some if not most of the feeling comes from my own insecurities.
I am certainly not happy with how I look. I am not the most attractive which is fine my husband loves me and I love him but my figure was always something i was comfortable and happy with and currently quite embarrassed with what I have done to myself. This means I don’t make eye contact with people and probably give out a much less friendly vibe.

‘Privilege’ is the wrong word. Being thin is not a ‘privilege’. It is a lifestyle choice. Conversely, being clinically obese is not a lack of ‘privilege’, it is also a lifestyle choice.

Humans can control & change their weight by regulating what they eat & exercising. I should know, having lost 35kg in a year. Do people treat me differently? Mostly, no. They treat me just the same. But I have been stopped in the street several times by people who live in the same village and recognise me, but don’t know me personally, to congratulate me on my weight loss.

I was shocked to find that I was treated very differently after going from a size 12/14 to 8. I actually didn’t expect it because I wasn’t huge to begin with but noticed it hugely.

i Agree wholeheartedly a lot of delusional people on this thread.

As a slimmer person I definitely think it's a thing. How people speak to you or assumptions they make.

Saying that though, if you're feeling a bit of a way about yourself at the moment because you're not feeling good about your body, you may feel more sensitive to it and potentially overthink comments that weren't really about that.

I've also always received derogatory remarks about being slimmer though, 'shaped like a streak of piss' 'men prefer meat on the bones' etc. but I know it's nothing compared to what others on the other end of the spectrum deal with in regards to societal attitude towards them

It's 100% a thing. I find it even with a tiny fluctuation of weight, size 8 vs 10 for example. I also find there's a massive difference in how people treat me based on appearance in general...

When I'm more made up, look more groomed, people are more polite, friendly, treat me better. When I'm make up free their eyes just slide right over me.

Yes it’s a thing, and yes it absolutely is seen as a privilege!!