To not understand why my mum ( or anyone ) needs to sunbathe topless ?

[aghak]

I'm staying with mum and my two kids at a holiday cottage. It's private so no one can see, but I still don't get why she or anyone feels the need to sunbathe topless ? I would just never do it and it makes me a bit uncomfortable to be around people who sunbathe topless.

I get it I get it, not everyone is like me.

But why do your boobs need to be brown ?

She also insists on wearing a bikini at almost 70. Ok fine, I don't wear a bikini and I'm not even 40 yet. I do think, good for you but I do think one pieces are just more classy. Same with having everything on display.

I realise I sound mean spirited don't I ? Or just uptight ? But isn't more, less and more classy in general ? Interested in opinions !

She raised me so I'm surprised I am not more on display myself but I'm pretty private about my body and always have been.

Leave her be. If she was flashing her boobs around in the supermarket it would be different. But there she is taking advantage of some rare sunshine in a private place.

It is not about brown boobs - it is about the wonderful sense of freedom.

I think people often rebel against their parents' attitudes to such things so it's not massively surprising that you feel differently. She's probably wanting to avoid tan marks etc., I'm not a fan of sunbathing of any sort but as she's in private she's only harming herself ..

Ah ok I didn't know it was about the freedom thing. You mean like when you take your bra off at the end of the day and just feel ' free ' ?

No one needs to.

Some people want to, and given it's a private spot why shouldn't they?

I agree it's not something I want my mum to do, or I shall be doing to my kids

Nobody needs to.
Some people want to.
They like to look the same colour all over I assume. No strap lines.

I realise I sound mean spirited don't I ? Or just uptight ? But isn't more, less and more classy in general ?

Yes, yes and no. Why does she need to be 'classy', she's in private!

Ps. You're also being ageist. I hope I can wear what I want when I'm nearly 70!

This. I'd do it if I could get away with it!

Sorry but your own hangups or insecurities about your body should not dictate what others do with theirs.

Personally I hate having white bits on my boobs when the rest of me tans. Restricts the cut of whatever else I wear on the holiday. If I get to 70, I'd love to still rock a bikini. Good on her for not people pleasing and making herself uncomfortable

Who cares , she's in private. And good for her for wearing a bikini at 70! True nobody needs tanned boobs but maybe she just wants them! It would have been a normal thing to do when she was younger and people weren't as aware of sun safety. I don't really tan anyway so never sunbathed topless because no point!

Well, classy is entirely subjective really and depends on your personal values. I don't go topless because of very reactive skin, but I guess it probably feels really nice to do so. I'm off to France next week where there'll be lots of boobs out and likewise lots under cover. Personal choice. Your definition of classy really doesn't affect anybody else's behaviour but your own.

I sunbathe topless - when I’m on a private balcony or terrace somewhere with just dh and I. Not in front of my kids!
I prefer wearing a 2 piece - makes it easier to go to the toilet.
Why do you need to look classy by the pool though; that’s baffling 😂

It's generational. My parents (70s) see a tan as a status symbol. They both sunbathe in nothing or next to nothing because they don't want tan lines. They do it in anything from 16 degrees plus. They are both the colour of old boots.

You do what you like and let her do what she likes. I wouldn’t go topless on a public beach but have been known to in the privacy of our own villa - as a PP said, it’s less about brown boobs and more just because I can. Plus, fewer tan lines.

I only wear one pieces to do “proper swimming”, if I’m sunbathing or just bobbing about in the water I love a bikini. Mind you, I never had any pretensions towards being “classy”

You sound really mean about the bikini thing; it's not about having class, a bikini is much much cooler than being wrapped up in a one piece.

Your mum sounds a bit more fun than you tbh.

Well I mean I don't love it as a spectator tbh. I'm not sure my kids need to see it either but they're still small. But I think as they get older I may have to rethink or am I just being uptight and silly ?

It's just not something I want to do myself and I'm not sure I want my kids to see.

YNBU to feel uncomfortable around people who are topless. Nudity doesn’t occur that often in most peoples’ daily lives and it can be a bit strange.

But likewise, your Mum is NBU to want an all over tan on her holiday. Or wear a bikini.

This is one of those situations where you need to sit with your own discomfort without blaming anyone.

but she's not in private if around you and your children. This used to make me feel so uncomfortable as a child so I wouldn't do it. If she's completely solo then let loose and enjoy

Not really the thing to get your baps out in front of the grandchildren but otherwise I admire her attitude.

Why?
What's the worst thing that can happen if your kids see boobs?

My parents don't

What has age got to do with wearing a bikini? If you’d said she’s overweight so she should cover up, there would be absolute outrage on here.

And, spoiler alert, women have breasts, and children won’t be mentally scarred if they see some bare ones.

Not everyone in a generation is the same!

I don't live in the UK and I live opposite a nudist beach. This post has made me smile. I'd forgotten the prudishness of Britain. ;)

People sunbath topless to avoid the strap marks amongst other things

I’m currently in Cyprus in an adult hotel. Bikinis all over the place. I think good on them! Why should men be allowed to expose their pot bellies but older women have to cover it all up. You are being both ageists and body shaming. I’m nearly 60 and I will carry on wearing a bikini whilst I can still get my feet through the leg holes.