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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

coach driver had to swear at and threaten school children to make them put seat belts on

309 replies

combinationpadlock · 19/07/2024 09:07

AIBU to think these kids need a little bit more of this plain speaking in their lives! If I had been that driver, I would simply have refused to drive them home, and just left them there. Poor guy had no choice but to make them behave, or not drive them as they were unsafe.

I imagine it has done them the world of good to hear what people actually think of them. I can't think why the school is complaining, rather than thanking him

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ced3z8kx9eqo

OP posts:
Bananaadramaa · 19/07/2024 09:25

I’m judging you hard right now for thinking it’s acceptable to tell children you’ll punch them in the face

hattie43 · 19/07/2024 09:27

Jellycatspyjamas · 19/07/2024 09:10

Seriously, you’d be ok with an adult threatening to fucking punch your child?

Yes I'd be more embarrassed my child needed a threat to behave .

MrsStottlemeyer · 19/07/2024 09:28

It does sound like the guy is at the end of his tether. From what is being said it appears the behaviour has been persistent and I wonder what the teachers were doing about it.
I don't blame him for losing his temper, if the kids were moving around he's responsible if they get hurt. He could have dealt with it in a better way but he's trained to drive a coach not discipline gobby teenagers.

hookiewookie29 · 19/07/2024 09:28

My brother has been a coach driver for many years and has done hundreds of school runs/trips during that time. Some kids are vile when they're on the coach- my sister in law used to be a chaperone on the coach but gave up because of the behaviour of some of the kids. During Covid he had a lad spitting on the floor of the coach- he stopped the coach and rang the school who contacted the parents to collect him from the coach. He was risking his health as it was by working, he didn't need that.
I know these kids can test anyone's patience,and the driver in the video had obviously had enough of it over time but my brother would never use that kind of threatening behaviour towards them.

hildabaker · 19/07/2024 09:30

I'm in the middle with this. I think teachers are not really allowed to tell pupils off any more. It is clear that some of the children were out of control and that's why the coach driver stepped in. he handled it badly but they were being a danger to themselves and those around them, including other drivers.

I am glad that I am no longer a teacher.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 19/07/2024 09:30

I've just watched it again, it's hard to see but there's definitely someone standing that the driver is directing the threats of violence to, I'm wondering if they were squaring up to the driver and he's reacted saying he'll punch them back - not just randomly threatening to punch kids for not wearing seatbelts.

Crystallizedring · 19/07/2024 09:31

saoirse31 · 19/07/2024 09:22

If he hadn't threatened them I'd fully agree with you. But as a parent I wouldn't have conplained.

Not asking your child why they couldn't follow a simple instruction then?
And to the poster who thought the well behaved kids would be scared, no they wouldn't. Teenagers talk to each other like that all the time.
Yes he went too far but I'd be angrier with my child and also asking the school what the teachers were doing.

MrsStottlemeyer · 19/07/2024 09:31

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 19/07/2024 09:19

Yes, remove him from duties involving children 😂I am sure it is his dearest wish! and if he is rewarded like that, I am sure other coach drivers will do the same in the hope of the same reward!
Yep can imagine 'now look Jim you can't do any of the runs that involve schools anymore'... "oh no, how awful, they're such a pleasure too"..

🤣

PuttingDownRoots · 19/07/2024 09:32

The coach driver went too far. He shouldn't have reacted like that

But I'd love to see a video showing what led up to the rant!

smallchange · 19/07/2024 09:34

The driver lost his job, which was inevitable. I suspect he'd have lost his job if he'd refused to drive as well.

I'm very surprised that the school want this in the media as it reflects appallingly on them.

Munchyseeds2 · 19/07/2024 09:38

Poor coach driver - no wonder he lost his rag!!

BigFatLiar · 19/07/2024 09:39

Too much. Just park up. If they don't settle put them off the bus and bar them from using it next term.

combinationpadlock · 19/07/2024 09:39

smallchange · 19/07/2024 09:34

The driver lost his job, which was inevitable. I suspect he'd have lost his job if he'd refused to drive as well.

I'm very surprised that the school want this in the media as it reflects appallingly on them.

I think he told them where to stuff their job......

OP posts:
Conkersinautumn · 19/07/2024 09:39

Nothing is acceptable about his behaviour, unhinged is what it is. That'd be gross misconduct in any public facing role.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/07/2024 09:40

combinationpadlock · 19/07/2024 09:07

AIBU to think these kids need a little bit more of this plain speaking in their lives! If I had been that driver, I would simply have refused to drive them home, and just left them there. Poor guy had no choice but to make them behave, or not drive them as they were unsafe.

I imagine it has done them the world of good to hear what people actually think of them. I can't think why the school is complaining, rather than thanking him

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ced3z8kx9eqo

Do you regularly threaten to fucking punch you kids if they misbehave? Is that how you think kids should be parented?

My only question is where's the teachers? There were seven on the coach and none of them can be heard tackling the driver

Autumnflakes · 19/07/2024 09:43

Ivehearditbothways · 19/07/2024 09:15

Why haven’t the school made any comment on the teachers failing to do their job of keeping the kids under control and following rules? And why aren’t the parents making any comments about their children’s behaviour?

The coach driver went too far. He should have just stopped, and informed the teachers that they would need to remove the children who were ignoring safety rules and contact parents to collect, so he should lose his job for going too far. But the school need to take responsibility and so do the parents.

This.

why wasn’t the teachers doing their jobs, or at least stopping his ranting.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/07/2024 09:44

combinationpadlock · 19/07/2024 09:14

Yes, that is what I would have done, just parked the bus and refused to drive, and made parents come and collect their children.

I think they got away very lightly with just being shouted at until they complied

Yes, remove him from duties involving children 😂I am sure it is his dearest wish! and if he is rewarded like that, I am sure other coach drivers will do the same in the hope of the same reward!

Edited

Why would you have just parked up and refused to leave if you think the driver did what was needed and that they got off lightly?

Why wouldn't you emulate his "excellent" behaviour and shout, swear and threaten the kids?

It makes no sense that you think the guy is a modern day hero, showing the kids what they deserved but you'd have not done it yourself.

Swisscave · 19/07/2024 09:45

You can condone the driver for using the threat of violence but also the parents reaction.

One of the parents said:

“The teachers' job is to keep our children safe and to manage them on the coach,” she said.
"And on this occasion, they failed our children.

No, it’s you the parent that has also failed

My dc use the bus and I was contacted by the school to say that one of my dc was moving around on the bus while moving. This is clearly dangerous and were told off. The school contacted me to tell me so.
It was my responsibility to tell my dc, how dangerous it was and that it cannot be down to the bus driver to make sure you behave, that you are respresenting the school when in uniform and that behaviour is unacceptable. It was me that was driving my dc to school for the week, not allowing them to be on the bus with their siblings and friends. An apology note was written to the school and to the bus driver by my dc.

Dc hasn’t misbehaved on the bus again.

I had a job to do as a parent. It was my responsibility that my dc behaves themselves whilst on the bus. The buck stopped with me.

Was the driver wrong? Yes.
Should he be a bus driver work with kids? No.
Have these parents failed their children by not highlighting the children’s bad behaviour and making the focus solely the driver? Yes.
Have the teachers failed their pupils? Yes

So thats the kids, parents, teachers and driver whose behaviour has all fallen short.

paradisecircus · 19/07/2024 09:45

combinationpadlock · 19/07/2024 09:07

AIBU to think these kids need a little bit more of this plain speaking in their lives! If I had been that driver, I would simply have refused to drive them home, and just left them there. Poor guy had no choice but to make them behave, or not drive them as they were unsafe.

I imagine it has done them the world of good to hear what people actually think of them. I can't think why the school is complaining, rather than thanking him

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ced3z8kx9eqo

Do you genuinely regard an adult saying "I'll punch you in the fucking mouth" to a child as some kind of refreshingly plain speaking?

Workinghours · 19/07/2024 09:45

I don't believe the threats of violence would help his situation with the majority of teens. To many this would be a red rag to a bull, if a teen said 'go on then' as many would have then what? Punch them as you threatened to do and go to prison as a child abuser? The coach driver was rightly sacked, he doesn't have the emotional intelligence to manage his temper and reason with children. This man shouldn't work with children. I'm sure many of the kids on the bus would have been behaving and felt trapped/unsafe in the situation.

honeyytoast · 19/07/2024 09:46

Not the point but our school buses (only 5/6 years ago for me) never had seatbelts and I could never understand why

ToddlerIs2 · 19/07/2024 09:46

combinationpadlock · 19/07/2024 09:21

The 7 teachers were not allowed to deal with the behaviour effectively - you see what needs to be said and done to make those children comply - teachers are not allowed to do that

Because NO ONE should be allowed to threaten to fucking punch up kids. Not even yours to your own. If that's what you do I hope they have a safe adult to talk to.

paradisecircus · 19/07/2024 09:47

Bit weird if the teachers weren't doing anything though.
The driver would probably have been justified to stop the bus and refuse to continue the journey until behaviour was modified.

L1ttledrummergirl · 19/07/2024 09:48

I'd like to know what the drivers working pattern had been like up until that point. How many school runs had he done with children from this school, how many times he had told his boss, and what steps they had put in place to mitigate this kind of incident from happening.

I would imagine that the driver was under some stress, felt unsupported and behaved badly under provocation. I would suspect that he walked out on the job after this due to feeling unsupported by his management team.

Yes, he behaved badly in the moment, that doesn't mean he should be vilified.
And why the fuck were the teachers allowing it to escalate to this point?

SleepingStandingUp · 19/07/2024 09:50

MrsStottlemeyer · 19/07/2024 09:28

It does sound like the guy is at the end of his tether. From what is being said it appears the behaviour has been persistent and I wonder what the teachers were doing about it.
I don't blame him for losing his temper, if the kids were moving around he's responsible if they get hurt. He could have dealt with it in a better way but he's trained to drive a coach not discipline gobby teenagers.

Then he shouldn't be disciplining them. Pull up and get off. Shout at the ADULTS and tell them you're calling it in and refusing to move until they remove the trouble makers or make them behave. Is it just threats that ok or would you be cool if he'd slapped one of them around a bit, shown him who's boss, put him in his place?