He doesn’t think he should contribute to the household

[Onceuponacookie]

My boyfriend and his young child (once a week in term time and more in the holidays) have moved in with me and my two teenage children. Before he moved in, he said he would contribute towards the bills once he moved.

He hasn’t yet volunteered anything and it’s been a 6 weeks. He has bought a little bit of food for himself, but that’s it.

It’s an unusual situation in that we live in my old marital home and my ex husband pays the mortgage as part of our agreement until the children are 18. Obviously the bills and food and everything that goes with running a house are all still mine to pay. I work full time around the children but I also receive child maintenance that is generous and overall we have a comfortable life.

I asked BF what he wanted to do about the bills situation last night as he is now settled in. He laughed and said he wasn’t going to pay for me and my children as their dad pays maintenance for them and the mortgage. He then said he doesn’t really add to my bills anyway. He uses a little hot water and the appliances etc. he feel he should just contribute to some food for him as he doesn’t often eat with us.

Obviously since he has moved in he doesn’t have any rent or bills or household expenses or insurances that he previously had when he lived in his own place. He’s saving a fortune and my expenses have increased.

It feels to me like he has moved in for a free ride and to save some cash really!!

He doesn’t help around the house at all and he used to take me out maybe once every one or two weeks but that hasn’t happened since he moved in. He’s quite critical of any mess the children or I make and expects a very clean house but doesn’t do anything to contribute.

He says if we had moved in with him to his house he wouldn’t have expected me to pay for anything!

He talks about the future of when my kids are 18 and we move on from our home that we will split the bills 50/50 then.

Am I being unreasonably to expect him to contribute to where he lives and to our blended family despite my unusual situation?

Why are your standards so low? Take the time to really think about this and get some professional help to address it. Of course you should be getting rid of the useless lump, you shouldn't need to ask. Get your dB or bil over, have the chat and have them stay whilst he packs. Be firm, he can't come back for stuff at a later date, he clears it all. There should be no reason for him to return and prey on your kind nature. Arrange for a locksmith to come over and change the locks. Block him on your phone and all social media. He's had enough of your time, don't feel guilty. Be firm and harden yourself, ask for support from your nearest and dearest if you require it.

Jesus. What a knob. For your kids sake get him out.

Get your brothers round to bundle him and his possessions out and get them to stay while a locksmith changes the locks. Get a ring door bell if you haven't already. Good luck!!

I don't think he should pay anything relating to your children. But he absolutely should be paying any costs related to his child and himself. Why on earth does he think it's OK to live anywhere rent-free?

Oh dear god...get him out!

I think it’s her ex that’s the cash cow here…

Please get that horrible cunt out of yours and your children’s home. Now.

Get rid! Get every male you know round when you say he has to leave and he needs to leave that evening! Then get the locks changed and block him on all forms of communication. Any toe he steps out of line record in a diary etc and report!!!!!!

I'm concerned for OP and her children tonight with this angry man in the house.
Maybe there have just been too many stories of what angry men do in the news.

Chuck him a sleeping bag and tell him he's sleeping on the sofa.

Make sure your children are safe - not sure how old they are?
Maybe have them sleep in your room with you. Prop a chair under the door knob.

I just couldn't bear to have him in my room for even one night after this. But he's angry and sulking in another room?

Take care OP and good luck kicking him out tomorrow.

Tell the council you are living on your own again, and then when the election letter comes through your door just take him off again

Screwfix do new barrels for a lick under £10 with 3 keys.
Just a couple of screws and it is done.
Take care

😂 Why not invite someone to come and move into your house for free then.

Pay for their utilities, internet, food. Clean up after them, and let them give you shit when you
mention anything.

Oh, and let them bring their kid to stay whenever it suits them, presumably you’ll be happy to clean and cook and pay for the kid too?

FFS I’ve read some ridiculous stuff on here, but you are on another planet 😂

It is very clear that you have 100% been targeted and played by him.
He honestly thought your Ex should pay for him and his child? With you as his skivvy.
I think he sounds dangerous, he has already shown he has a temper that he hid.
You need to take your childrens safety very seriously.
He needs to be gone tomorrow if not tonight.
You clearly do not know him at all or what he is capable of.
How awful for you.

Look at this one’s other posts just in case there was any doubt they’re a goady troll baiting for attention.

Always obvious when the school holidays have started

I think @nellyroser has been on the sherry…..

Very few threads genuinely leave me speechless but this definitely has.

I’d have to pack his shit up and dump it outside his workplace and change my locks.

What a piece of shit.

I’d be changing the locks in the morning. Get rid

@Onceuponacookie
Obviously since he has moved in he doesn’t have any rent or bills or household expenses or insurances that he previously had when he lived in his own place. He’s saving a fortune and my expenses have increased.

It feels to me like he has moved in for a free ride and to save some cash really!!

What you have here is a cocklodger. You have to boot him out right now. This is just the first step of wearing you down and making you accept your status as a doormat. He has no legal right to stay, it's still your home. Give him a week's notice and that's being generous he can sleep on the couch not in your room.

He us showing you who he is. Believe him. It will only get worse if he convinces you to let him stay.

If he doesn't pay his way then he moves out. Your maintenance arrangements are nothing to do with him and you have shared way too much information with him. He doesn't pull his weight in household chores either so why let him stay?

This. She if he's still laughing then.

Hope you manage to get rid soon. Be very careful and get back up with you if you can. You thought he was a good guy but he has changed massively since you let him move in. I wouldn’t trust he wouldn’t do anything even more out of his previous good character

A week's notice is sufficient for a cocklodger. He can get a room in a house share.