He doesn’t think he should contribute to the household

[Onceuponacookie]

My boyfriend and his young child (once a week in term time and more in the holidays) have moved in with me and my two teenage children. Before he moved in, he said he would contribute towards the bills once he moved.

He hasn’t yet volunteered anything and it’s been a 6 weeks. He has bought a little bit of food for himself, but that’s it.

It’s an unusual situation in that we live in my old marital home and my ex husband pays the mortgage as part of our agreement until the children are 18. Obviously the bills and food and everything that goes with running a house are all still mine to pay. I work full time around the children but I also receive child maintenance that is generous and overall we have a comfortable life.

I asked BF what he wanted to do about the bills situation last night as he is now settled in. He laughed and said he wasn’t going to pay for me and my children as their dad pays maintenance for them and the mortgage. He then said he doesn’t really add to my bills anyway. He uses a little hot water and the appliances etc. he feel he should just contribute to some food for him as he doesn’t often eat with us.

Obviously since he has moved in he doesn’t have any rent or bills or household expenses or insurances that he previously had when he lived in his own place. He’s saving a fortune and my expenses have increased.

It feels to me like he has moved in for a free ride and to save some cash really!!

He doesn’t help around the house at all and he used to take me out maybe once every one or two weeks but that hasn’t happened since he moved in. He’s quite critical of any mess the children or I make and expects a very clean house but doesn’t do anything to contribute.

He says if we had moved in with him to his house he wouldn’t have expected me to pay for anything!

He talks about the future of when my kids are 18 and we move on from our home that we will split the bills 50/50 then.

Am I being unreasonably to expect him to contribute to where he lives and to our blended family despite my unusual situation?

Let us know how it goes OP and stay safe.

You’re unreasonable to expect this arsehole to contribute anything, it would seem!

He’s shown you his true colours, and it won’t improve.

I don't understand why you put him on the council tax bill when he doesn't even pay it! All you had to do was stop claiming single person discount.

In any case, you need to get rid of him now. He adds nothing to your life, and drains a hell of a lot. I'd change the locks when he went to go and buy some of this food he buys for himself.

Do this, both of them. Get him to hand over keys or change the locks.
Ring them and ask tomorrow. Where was he before, with his mum?

He had zero rights to be there, council tax means nothing.

Btw. You’re scared of him and he’s in the house with YOUR CHILDREN.

can you do this tomorrow?

OP you don't need to 'talk to him about moving out'. Tell him. Now. Don't give him any more than a week's notice either. Show your children that you have respect for yourself, even if he doesn't.

One of the worst cocklodgers I’ve ever read about - I’d get rid of him tomorrow, with protection

Overreacting 😂😂 @Onceuponacookie give this lady his number upon his departure.

Evict is my new starter word for wordle.

Would love to know what the ex thinks about it 🙈

Well at least he’s shown his true colours sooner rather than later.

Yep definitely get him out, it’ll only get worse not better.

If I were him, I'd be fucking RAGING.

I wouldn't take a penny. He's shown his true colours and is not worth the effort, and if he's not using that much hot water, he's not even very clean, is he. Out the cocklodger!

Read this sad story of another woman who inflicted her cock lodger on her teenage daughter. It couldn't be worse really.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/jul/13/when-my-mother-died-i-thought-her-violent-boyfriend-had-won-but-she-had-secretly-taken-back-control

He is taking the piss out of you and using you. He laughed at you?!? What a belittling, freeloading loser. Show him this thread.

I hope he goes easily. What a horrible man!

Get him out ASAP OP, he’s sounds awful. His true colours have been shown, he’s a freeloader. Make sure your brother comes over to make sure you are all ok and that he leaves straight away

100% this. A cock lodger with a temper is not someone who is likely to leave quietly so I wouldn't even think about asking him nicely

It's your house, he's paying nothing so he's a guest, you don't owe him notice. Where he goes is not your concern, don't even ask him.

Have someone with you at the time you would expect him to return. Communicate only by text to tell him he is no longer welcome and be prepared to call the police if he kicks off.

Please make sure you change the locks and secure your house.

Who does he think he is? OMG. Kick the freeloading fucker out.

Did 2% of people really think she was being unreasonable? FFS

OP you've had almost unanimous advice. Good luck with the eviction and stay safe.

@nellyroser ummm, you're either her abusive freeloading boyfriend or a surrendered wife. Bloody hell.

The 2% will mean unreasonable for not kicking him out sooner