To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

[Sparklebelle1024]

I try not to let it bother me but I’m young ( 35) and I have a blue badge because I have a few health problems which put me into the category of disabled and entitle me to pip and a blue badge. I do work (only part time as that’s a struggle but I do it for my own mental health but I think even that might have to go soon but I’m trying to last as long as I can) and almost every time I pull my car into the disabled spaces I get dirty looks and “badge checked” by the older generation and it’s ALWAYS older people !! It’s like younger folk can’t have disabilities!! Yet I can literally go from being okayish one day to hospitalised the next (I have a very understanding manager) and my car is a lifeline. I do try to brush it off but today I had a run in with an older man and he asked to see the photo on my badge to prove it was mine, I obviously told him he’s not entitled to that information and it’s not an elderly badge it’s a disabled badge and I cried when I was driving home.
it’s not fair…. I’m sick of being judged because I’m not “old” and don’t “look disabled” whatever that should look like. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it really genuinely does. So AIBU to be annoyed at being judged by the older generation because I use a badge I’m legally entitled to??

Someone earlier took great offense to able bodied people acting as "saviours" to BB holders.

Now it seems even disabled people are not allowed support each other either.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Good to know.

never question anyone who parks in a BB space. Never look at the dashboard. Never risk eye contact. Just mond your own business

I think this is exactly what most people on this thread are asking for. That others cease and desist vigilante behaviors. If you really want to act as parking attendant wait until the occupants have left the car, check if there is a badge and report to relevant authorities if there isn't.

Don't inconvenience the occupants of the car who as people parking in a designated disabled spot probably have plenty going on in their lives already.

Even if it's a traffic warden it's none of their business. They don't give blue badges away, so if you have one, you are entitled to it. If you have one, you are entitled to park in blue badge spaces as long as you comply with the rules and display your badge. That is all anyone needs to know, including traffic wardens.

Ok, so interfere.... But only in certain situations?

If I'm walking past a space I might give a quick glance at the window. If I see a BB that's it. I move on. If I don't I might give a brave "scowl" to the driver! I might even mention it if I see a traffic warden (actually now that I think about it once I did report someone who parked and ran from the car - he was of the just nipping in for a minute gang - but he was back at the car before the warden even got to it) but I will not hang around, waiting to see someone getting out of the car and then checking if they've displayed a badge or not and then go report them. It easier to just look as you're passing. Rather than hang around for a sting operation!

As I said, best to get onto the disability rights groups and ask them to make this request publicly known.

My opinion... There's going to be an awful lot less availability of BB spaces if they are not self-policed by the public. But at least everyone will be happy 😉

Yes, many blue badge holders are not visibly disabled. However the vast majority of people who do not appear disabled are indeed not disabled. So it is perfectly fine to ask someone who does not appear disabled whether they have a blue badge, as long as it is done politely**

No it isn't ok. It is nobody's business.

As a pp said, the most you might do is have a peek in their windscreen once they've gone to see if they've displayed a blue badge, and if they haven't, you might tell a traffic warden. But you certainly don't challenge a person directly.

My opinion... There's going to be an awful lot less availability of BB spaces if they are not self-policed by the public

Nah, there are loads of traffic wardens about. We have a shortage of everything else, but we don't have a shortage of them!

"People care that these spaces are only used by those deserving of them, they have your interest at heart. "

It will their idea of who is deserving not who is legally entitled to one.

@Sparklebelle1024 , maybe think about it from a different perspective. I looked after my dad in the three years before he died, he lived with me and he couldn’t get out on his own. It’s odd the things you miss when you can’t do them anymore and he liked to go to the supermarket. It was very difficult for me though because I needed the extra space to bring his wheelchair alongside his seat and haul him out. It was really rare for there to be any disabled spaces free, I’d often be forced to park in a mother and child space but even they were scarce. I didn’t take him out so much in the end because I’d be hanging around waiting for a suitable spot to become available and nearly always a perfectly able bodied person would eventually turn up and get in the car they’d parked in the disabled space they didn’t need.
People aren’t entitled to be rude but they are I feel entitled to ask because disabled parking spaces are so often abused.
I thought your question was rather ageist by the way. Elderly people and middle aged people (carers) are the ones most likely to have come across abuse of disabled parking spaces.

I would really hope the disability rights groups are all working hard to make it clear that not all disabilities are visible

I am bed bound a lot of the time due to mine, there are some outward symptoms but they are very subtle. My disability isn't less disabling than a disability you can visibly see. It's ignorant and rude to challenge me.

After all, they're looking out for people like you and ensuring those parking in the spaces are entitled to be there.

I would love to see what other kind acts these saintly folk do for the disabled and vulnerable…

Elderly people and middle aged people (carers) are the ones most likely to have come across abuse of disabled parking spaces.

No they aren’t.

Disability can affect anyone of any age, therefore people of any age can have a bb.

Age is no better an indicator of bb status than walking is.

I am one of the fortunate ones who has to date not had a brush with disability in my nearest and dearest. But I am going to take a wild guess that it’s not largely a whole lot of fun.

Disability parking places should be there to make people feel more relaxed. To take one extra worry out of the challenging day. They should know that they will be able to park in peace at the other end. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have to worry about people being aggressive and antagonistic when they exit the car. For people who are slightly anxious in personality, the fear of challenge must be horrendous. Some of the comments here have made me really angry.

"If you are entitled to park there then there's no problem."

When I am getting my severely autistic son out of the car I don't want idiots bothering us. They also might not like the reaction they provoke

How do you know that they were perfectly able bodied? My body stops being able to send signals to my muscles the more I use them, and I get desperately ill very swiftly, but I don't look any different. My gait doesn't change, I don't have stiffness. But if I do too much I end up unable to move my arms or legs or even speak or swallow

So? I'm a wheelchair user, and while it's frustrating if there are no disabled spaces available because I literally have to go home, it isn't the fault of the other disabled people already using the spaces. You cannot tell if someone is, "Perfectly able bodied" just by looking at them.

Leave. Us. Alone.

Also, it's not ageist to give our personal experience. In my experience, everyone who has abused, accosted and assaulted me over using BB spaces with a BB has been elderly.

I think the poster meant they would tell a warden that they have a bb if the warden hadn’t seen it-

for instance sometimes I park, get my gubbins sorted, get child sorted and then put my Bb on display- if a warden came over in the 2 minutes after I stopped but before I displayed the badge I would tell him I have one because I don’t want a ticket-

if a random guy did it I’d ignore him/tell him to go away/ask to see his driving licence or say no I don’t have a badge (ask stupid questions you get stupid answers)- depending on my mood.

Ok, so interfere.... But only in certain situations?

I would favor not interfering at all but as this seems to be an extremely challenging idea for some posters I thought getting involved after the occupants had left was the best compromise.

Yep. I'm not just slightly anxious. I have full on, severe, diagnosed and highly medicated PTSD. Someone staring/tutting/shouting at me can result in a massive panic attack which I've been hospitalised for in the past, and the affect that has on my other chronic disabilities is absolutely awful.

It's appalling that people think it's OK to police us.

This. ^ @TimeandMotion's posts are dreadful! 😖

I think this is exactly what most people on this thread are asking for. That others cease and desist vigilante behaviors. If you really want to act as parking attendant wait until the occupants have left the car, check if there is a badge and report to relevant authorities if there isn't.

This. Simply this.

"I have an unseen disability and my parking here is none of your business."

That is all you need to say. I'm sorry there are so many ignorant people in the world.

Yes, it’s funny how people MUST get involved when there is a chance of either bullying a disabled person or giving themselves a pat on the back for their virtue…

I wonder if they carry a small pencil to make a note of the number plate if they see a car turn without indicating? or chase down and demand the name and address of cyclists on the pavement? Or require the local bikers charter to show their driving licence when they pull up at the lights?

After all, that behaviour also affects everyone…

The difference is , that a traffic warden is perfectly able to ask to see the underside of a BB, during a check. Joe public is not.

Most people are saying if they park in a bb space demanding information from them is harassment and they should be allowed to go about their lives in peace. You (and your brother) have decided that it’s ok to make their lives a little less private because some other people break the law by parking in reserved parking.

FWIW your brother challenging me like this would be fine now but a year ago might have meant me never being able to use that parking space again, because that’s OUR level of need. From his point of view I would not have reacted but simply moved my car because that would be the best chance I had of not getting to the point of him sounding annoyed and limiting our world still further. Of course there are not that many drivers with your DB level of need nor that many with our difficulties but obviously we are both who BBs were designed to help.

This in spades!