To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

[Sparklebelle1024]

I try not to let it bother me but I’m young ( 35) and I have a blue badge because I have a few health problems which put me into the category of disabled and entitle me to pip and a blue badge. I do work (only part time as that’s a struggle but I do it for my own mental health but I think even that might have to go soon but I’m trying to last as long as I can) and almost every time I pull my car into the disabled spaces I get dirty looks and “badge checked” by the older generation and it’s ALWAYS older people !! It’s like younger folk can’t have disabilities!! Yet I can literally go from being okayish one day to hospitalised the next (I have a very understanding manager) and my car is a lifeline. I do try to brush it off but today I had a run in with an older man and he asked to see the photo on my badge to prove it was mine, I obviously told him he’s not entitled to that information and it’s not an elderly badge it’s a disabled badge and I cried when I was driving home.
it’s not fair…. I’m sick of being judged because I’m not “old” and don’t “look disabled” whatever that should look like. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it really genuinely does. So AIBU to be annoyed at being judged by the older generation because I use a badge I’m legally entitled to??

I always have a stock reply when people see my badge and say that I don't look disabled.

I say; 'You don't look stupid, the world's full of surprises!'

I've had a BB since my early 20s. I've been glared at, screamed at and physically assaulted by people who don't think I should use BB parking spaces.

It has ALWAYS been by people clearly over the age of 60. Every time. Not one younger person has ever challenged me or even looked twice.

And to the person who said the OP is unreasonable to be upset... No. No they aren't. It IS upsetting to have to anticipate being abused every time you want to park your car. There's absolutely no need for it.

Agree 100% OP I get judged as I'm a 'young' blue badge holder WITH a baby in tow. You can imagine the looks / badge checks / eye rolls / comments that attracts

FWIW my pregnancy caused me permanent issues which then led to me being awarded a blue badge

A younger friend of mine has a blue badge . She encounters the same kind of issues . Her stock response is to look bemused and say " are you suggesting I share my personal medical information with you ?, perhaps you would like to share yours first " . They always look embarrassed .

DH has a sunflower lanyard that he sometimes wears (not so much now he's got used to having the BB). You can get them on Amazon if you feel it would help your confidence.

My child has one. The looks we get when I park in a disabled bay are ridiculous. The tutting is worse. I've learnt to ignore it but it's hard not to react when it's a bad day

Remind the nosy buggers not all disabilities are visible and walk off with your head held high. I'm 55 and have to use a walker, I get some funny looks too. Sending hugs x

Gosh I think you have been so unlucky. I have a blue badge and have never been asked to show it to a member of the public.

I think the best strategy is to ignore and not engage. People really do have a sense of entitlement.
Please don't let it get to you. Most people go out of their way to support others. Don't let the buggers get you down 💐

This is a great response.

I'm in my early 40s and don't "look" disabled and I too get this judgement for using my blue badge. I no longer let it bother me as I know I've a genuine entitlement to it and I don't owe anyone an explanation. I also refuse to show anyone although tbf I've only been asked a couple of times and it was several years ago. Mainly nowadays it's dirty looks and I just ignore them. I know it's easier said than done and I didn't get to this point overnight but let it wash over you and ignore the ignorant cretins

Fuck em.
I have fluctuating illness....whereas one day i can be in wheelchair and next day not...i heard someone say "nowt up with her she was walking other day"...i said mind your own business...also would you say that to someone who had cancer (which is an invisible illness sometimes)...she said fuck all after that. Rude ..and yes she was older women...65-70

She said that the ones who comment/look at her badge etc tend to be older. At no point did she say ‘all old people…’ bit bloody rude to call her uneducated!!

I think absolute grey rock is your best bet here. As though you don’t speak the language.

YABU.
OP I don't see your issue. My elderly mother has a blue badge and gets frustrated when the disabled space she uses is occupied by someone not entitled to it. Then when challenged she gets the usual "I was only 5 minutes" "I was in a rush" "Didn't know it was a disabled space" etc etc.

People care that these spaces are only used by those deserving of them, they have your interest at heart. Why not just show them you are justified to use the space and be grateful some people care?

I used to have a young client with a blue badge. The constant looks and comments were very tiring when we used it.
I have to agree that for whatever reason it was usually older people getting themselves involved.

I feel for you OP.

I'm 30 and have had a blue badge for around 5 years now due to my own disability. It's not one you can see all the times, I walk with a limp but on a 'good' day it's not that prominent. The amount of times I have parked in a disabled space then got my two children out of the car and people have said to me that I can't park there or that badge mustn't be mine is ridiculous.

Not that long ago I had a old man walk up to my car whilst I was putting my children in the trolley, look at the badge, look at me and demanded I show him the other side...

I was talking to a poster who responded to the OP, but her post was deleted as she implied she couldn't wait for older uneducated people to die.

Happened a LOT when DS was younger. I remember one time he was about 10 and using his wheelchair. In the next space a family pulled in, woman about 30 ish, also a wheelchair user. Bloke and his wife, both over retirement age, started having a go that we shouldnt be parking there. Both explained that we had blue badges, the younger woman is getting into her chair and I get my sons chair out. Its very obvious why we have the badges. No he is not happy, they need it more as "We are much older than you!"

The younger husband gets out and was MASSIVE, it was really funny as the older bloke couldnt move fast enough then, even though the younger husband didnt say a word! They park up not far away and get out and stroll away. Now I am not saying that they couldnt have invisible disabilities but in a game of top trumps I would say that a younger wheelchair user WHO GOT THERE FIRST wins over older people who can walk unaided and were not struggling with mobility at all.

There was also a neighbour of my parents who was furious that he couldnt get a blue badge as he didnt meet the (by then much tighter) requirements because "Well I am 70, I should get one". He went hiking and hill walking as his hobby!

I work with a young man with a disabilities including a medical condition that entitles him to a blue badge. To look at he appears like any other late teen/early 20 year old. While I have never had anyone ask to see the badge I have had a lot of funny looks when they see him and I get out of the car and I am expecting to have a row with someone about it any day now!
Actually though I don't particularly find it's elderly people- mostly middle aged women I find and not normally those who are using blue badge spaces themselves.

Thanks everyone, I always display my badge when I park so it’s obvious I’m a genuine user… just sick of being judged, I have kids too and when I have them with me it feels even worse like a young mum of two children can’t possibly have a disability.
i get the abuse of the spaces because I too see it all the time and it’s frustrating but even then I don’t challenge them cos you never actually know how someone is going to react - they could react violently for all I know and I’m not taking that risk for myself, that’s for the parking attendants to deal with.
to the person who called me uneducated I didn’t say ALL older people I said any time I’ve had an issue it has been an older person.
it’s just frustrating and sometimes it gets too much because I already deal with enough. Guess I’m having a pity party today

I'd never challenge anyone over parking, not worth it!

I don’t qualify for a badge - because they’re wankers. But I have a wheelchair and crutches and a hidden disability that changes by the hour. Some days I’m okay, other days I’m great, then I’m horrendous.

People are absolute twats when it comes to hidden disabilities, especially when you’re younger. I’m 31 and the judgement is awful.

it’s bloody hard but try and ignore the haters.

This country is 99% full of people who don't like anyone getting something they themselves are not entitled to. The rest of us who make up the 1% are really nice and wouldn't dream of sticking our oars into a situation that was none of our business.

My DH was challenged on his BB by a youngish woman who was fighting the good fight on behalf of her brother, who had one because he was entitled to one!

Because as disabled people we are not required to spend our lives having to constantly justify ourselves as deserving or not, genuine or not, or have to play performative gratitude to people with too much time on their hands and God complexes who think they have a right to police those they perceive as easy targets.

I'm very visibly disabled and in a wheelchair and it doesn't stop these sorts of people from trying to claim they have some inherent right to interfere with me. No I'm not bloody grateful, I'm bloody furious about it, leave me alone, leave my family alone, dam you, I'm busy trying to earn my living, raise my family, and pay my taxes, and I don't need to justify my existence to anyone, let alone any twat that expects gratitude from me!

You think there's something wrong then take my badge number and my registration plate and report it to be investigated, but don't you dare try harassing me.

I don't have a blue badge as don't drive, but I avoid using the loos and seats on buses for people with mobility issues, as I've had too many ignorant older people lay into me, as apparently I don't look disabled enough.
I get it, as some people do take the piss and, when seated, I don't 'look' disabled, but it's oddly satisfying to move for stroppy, ignorant wankers, as my physical disabilities become apparent in the struggle to manoeuvre myself to standing and in my mobility (or, lack thereof).
Pricks.