To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

[Sparklebelle1024]

I try not to let it bother me but I’m young ( 35) and I have a blue badge because I have a few health problems which put me into the category of disabled and entitle me to pip and a blue badge. I do work (only part time as that’s a struggle but I do it for my own mental health but I think even that might have to go soon but I’m trying to last as long as I can) and almost every time I pull my car into the disabled spaces I get dirty looks and “badge checked” by the older generation and it’s ALWAYS older people !! It’s like younger folk can’t have disabilities!! Yet I can literally go from being okayish one day to hospitalised the next (I have a very understanding manager) and my car is a lifeline. I do try to brush it off but today I had a run in with an older man and he asked to see the photo on my badge to prove it was mine, I obviously told him he’s not entitled to that information and it’s not an elderly badge it’s a disabled badge and I cried when I was driving home.
it’s not fair…. I’m sick of being judged because I’m not “old” and don’t “look disabled” whatever that should look like. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it really genuinely does. So AIBU to be annoyed at being judged by the older generation because I use a badge I’m legally entitled to??

Everyone should keep their noses out.
Able bodied or otherwise

I’m a disabled, chronically ill wheelchair user, with a young disabled child to also transport (he is also entitled to a bb)- I need a bb space. Visibly so.

I also know

a) not all disabilities are visible

b) it isn’t ok to question, upset, hold up, interfere with or harass other disabled people in any way just because they have taken a parking space I would like for myself.

Does it annoy me to drive past cars in bb spaces without a badge displayed? Yes.

Does that mean that next time I see someone ‘not looking disabled’ I go and question them on their right to park there? No it absolutely does not.

People care that these spaces are only used by those deserving of them, they have your interest at heart. Why not just show them you are justified to use the space and be grateful some people care?

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

If someone is going to ignore the rules and park in the disabled space without a badge then I doubt the questioning of some random will make the slightest difference

You leave them be . They might look able bodied but they could be very ill. I can be on the verge of needing another ICU admission and not "look" any different

“Keep your nose out” is an expression meaning don’t get involved in something that doesn’t affect you.

If a disabled person is unable to use a space because it is occupied by a person with no entitlement to it they are very much affected by this. If some of you want to be doormats and enable the misusers, you are making things worse for your fellow badge holders.

So you’ll have a badge then.

Yes, many blue badge holders are not visibly disabled. However the vast majority of people who do not appear disabled are indeed not disabled. So it is perfectly fine to ask someone who does not appear disabled whether they have a blue badge, as long as it is done politely.

This really isn't okay.

It is also pointless, I didn't have a disability, the dc I was traveling with did. I wasn't going to discuss a client's health with a random stranger.

Asking intrusive personal questions on health and disability isn't okay just because you do it politely. You can see the impact it has on people reading this thread.

I was just about to say exactly this. Ignore, ignore and ignore again...

A certain percentage won't ever care. But a certain percentage of people will chance something if they think they'll get away with it. If they think there's a chance of being confronted or called out they don't risk it.

But calling fjr everybody to keep their noses out will mean that percentage of people will likely chance it in the belief that "I'm just nipping in for 5 mins".

@TimeandMotion

Do you actually make an effort to be as insufferable as possible or does it just come naturally to you?

But you don’t have to discuss the disability! You just produce the badge!

@TimeandMotion how does your brother phrase the question?
"Do you have a Blue Badge?'
or
"Are you going to be leaving soon because I want the space after you if possible?"

it is occupied by a person with no entitlement

You have said repeatedly that your brother is stopping his car where he can’t see anyone’s BB and then asking people who don’t look the correct sort of disabled to him if they have a bb.

He has ZERO idea if they are allowed to be there, and the majority of the time he will be harassing disabled people who are minding their own business using a service designated for them.

He needs to pack it in.

I’ve already described the interaction blow by blow above. My brother is quite an amiable bloke. “Sorry [ or sorry pal if male, he’s in Scotland..], just checking you realise that’s a Blue Badge space?

@TimeandMotion if that's the words he uses then that's rude. Sorry. But it is.

Except the majority of times he’s asked the person has sheepishly moved. By hey ho, you continue with your own narrative to suit your argument.

No, you don’t. Not unless a traffic warden or police officer is asking for it.

If someone stopped you getting into or out of your car and demanded to see your driving license would you produce it for them?

I very much doubt that.

But you don’t have to discuss the disability! You just produce the badge!

The badge was displayed on the car in the appropriate way, once we all got out.

Why would I produce the badge for some random bloke? Or indeed discuss it, I was perfectly occupied enough supporting the client.

We did as I've said attract this kind of attitude and it was an additional hassle we really didn't need.

We did as I've said attract this kind of attitude and it was an additional hassle we really didn't need.

Exactly.

@TimeandMotion hasn’t answered about whether she would happily produce her driving license if a man stopped her and asked for it?

The question is not asked that often, and only after carefully weighing up all the evidence. So the stats are that most times it was the right call.

Yes but this was in reference to someone who wasn't able to see the badges feeling he could challenge

What if its an able bodied person who doesn't have a BB? As you said, sometimes you can't tell. And if he is unable to see the BB from where he is he could be letting an able bodied person who's "just nipping in for 5 minutes" park in a BB space.

But if that's what people think should happen then maybe the disability lobby bodies should get the word out there to never question anyone who parks in a BB space. Never look at the dashboard. Never risk eye contact. Just mond your own business and let the spaces be used as they will.

The badge is there for wardens and police to check, not for any old busy body to demand a peek