To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

[Sparklebelle1024]

I try not to let it bother me but I’m young ( 35) and I have a blue badge because I have a few health problems which put me into the category of disabled and entitle me to pip and a blue badge. I do work (only part time as that’s a struggle but I do it for my own mental health but I think even that might have to go soon but I’m trying to last as long as I can) and almost every time I pull my car into the disabled spaces I get dirty looks and “badge checked” by the older generation and it’s ALWAYS older people !! It’s like younger folk can’t have disabilities!! Yet I can literally go from being okayish one day to hospitalised the next (I have a very understanding manager) and my car is a lifeline. I do try to brush it off but today I had a run in with an older man and he asked to see the photo on my badge to prove it was mine, I obviously told him he’s not entitled to that information and it’s not an elderly badge it’s a disabled badge and I cried when I was driving home.
it’s not fair…. I’m sick of being judged because I’m not “old” and don’t “look disabled” whatever that should look like. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it really genuinely does. So AIBU to be annoyed at being judged by the older generation because I use a badge I’m legally entitled to??

Unless it's a traffic warden or similar just tell them firmly "it's none of your business" and ignore ignore ignore 🙂

Flip 'em off.

Glare back none of their business

Since yous are quite young may I suggest you roll back to even younger next time? Do that teen thing where they rummage in a pocket then pull out a hand with a middle finger up? Then smile and walk away...
Def make you feel better imo.

It's rough. I've had a few 'looks' and most duck head when i get my cane out the back seat... the one's that persist i generally just glare at in an 'excuse me?' kind of tone.

Only once has anyone had the balls to ask me if it's mine and i just firmly told them to mind their own business.

How dare you insinuate that older people are uneducated and all hold these kind of views.

People like the ones the OP mentioned, will have been dickheads when they were younger.

You don't just become old and suddenly become a bigot.

Young knob head = old knob head in case you need it explaining to you.

You sound uneducated to be honest. Assuming all older people are the same.

I hear you.

My ds has a blue badge as he has a condition - like yours - that flares up.

He can be sitting to standing or just walking along and his leg spasms and he can't get it to go down to the floor. He's then a 1 legged person!

I think see a fit young lad (although he wears a splint but that can't be seen under trousers) and wonder why we have it.

They don't question it when his hopping along on crutches or in his wheelchair!

Honestly - easier said than done - but use your energy to worry about you and your health.

And next time you're asked for proof ask for their council badge to prove they are parking enforcement as state you'd hate to accidentally disclose personal info to a random busy body on the street

YABU for letting them annoy you. You have a badge that you are fully entitled to and are disadvantaged compared to many who are judging you, so don’t even bother giving them space in your head.

I don't think you're being unreasonable to be annoyed at being judged by older people who think you can't be disabled because of your age, but I do think you're unreasonable to get upset about it. They're just showing their ignorance. You don't have to show anyone, apart from the appropriate authorities, the photo on your badge, which is why you place it with the photo down on your dashboard. Just tell them that you have a blue badge and are entitled to park where you do, other than that, it's none of their business. I must admit, as a younger person myself, when challenged once by an elderly couple as I reversed into a disabled bay, I quite enjoyed waving my blue badge at them, and continuing to pull into the space. They obviously felt they were more entitled to the space than I was, but once they saw the badge, they had no choice other than to drive off and find another space, as they didn't have the advantage over me, that thought they had when they pulled up beside me.

@SweetFemaleAttitude
People like the ones the OP mentioned, will have been dickheads when they were younger.

You don't just become old and suddenly become a bigot.
Oh if only this were true. Sadly as I have grown older I have found more and more of my generation have morphed into the stereotypical grumpy, entitled, judgemental older person that we have personified as boomers. And I'm not just talking about those born in the boomer years.

They were not like this when they were younger. I don't know what happens but it happens a LOT

The idealistic, socially conscious, positive people they were appears to have gone and they are grumbling the whole time. Think all there good fortune came from their own hard work and brilliance rather than luck of the property booms and they criticise the young for doing a tenth of the stupid stuff I remember them doing when they were young.

Its like they've forgotten

Well you can't change them (because even if you tackle one person, there will be many more, from what you've said), so change how you think about.

Maybe tell yourself if it wasn't for people taking it upon themselves to veto those who park in disabled bays, said bays may be full of cars belonging to able bodied people, and then you'd struggle to park.

I'm not trying to be flippant, I'm really not, but it's heartbreaking to read how much this upsets you, and if you can find a way to live alongside it, it may help.

WTF

It’s worth remembering the majority of people are decent and compassionate, it’s just that the occasional dick head you encounter stands out for you.

Im surprised you’ve been challenged by other drivers- there are usually more disabled bays than required in car parks.
I couldn’t be less interested in who is parking in disabled bays.

You could even have been using someone else’s blue badge to pick up them up or drop them off so it’s none of their business even if you leap out of the car in gym gear and start jogging on the spot.

Dont assume everyone is glaring. Sometimes people look like they are but are simply glancing over, frowning and wondering what they’re having for tea.

I get this as well. My daughter has global development delay and we get the stares although to be honest she does look a bit different.Her sister has autism also.
I got a sticker from eBay it says
" Not all disabilities are visible". that kind of thing and put them on each side of the car.

If it happens again invite them to make a note of your number plate and call the police if they like.
Prejudice and ignorance puts me into sarcastic mode.

See if you can invest in something like this sweetie. (for your car window!)

Disabled Car Sticker Square - Not all disabilities are visible. Please – Blue Badge Co (bluebadgecompany.co.uk)

I know some people can be so rude to people with blue badges, and the young (under 40s) seem to get the worst vitriol! SHOCKER! Some young folk have disabilities!

I know a number of under 40s who have blue badges either for themselves or their child, It's not easy but do learn to totally ignore these rude people. As you get older you will care less.

I was hoping that the younger generations are being taught about hidden disabilities so eventually those views will become more prevalent. I see a lot more awareness of hidden disabilities on eg instagram these days.

YANBU - I ended up on a stick to walk, with a very bad leg after two nasty falls. Walked badly for some time, ankle supports on, offer me a seat badge for commuting etc. You couldn't miss that something was up with me, essentially. I got some very suspicious and down right annoyed looks .

You must know some pretty horrible people. I'm an older person and wouldn't dream of questioning someone like the OP who has a blue badge.

They do get misused and stolen - I suppose as with many other crimes the number of times this happens gets magnified by people - and young people are the obvious ones to blame.
When my children were small we shared our house with an elderly relative with a blue badge - it certainly was a temptation to use it especially if I was running an errand for her. If I was picking her up in my car - using the badge to park close by so that I could help her back to the car - I used to be worried that people thought I was misusing the badge.
So unless they are abusive please be understanding. It's reasonable to be annoyed, but don't let it upset you.

So unless they are abusive please be understanding you want someone with a disability to be understanding when someone doubts they are disabled and challenges them on it?