To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

[Sparklebelle1024]

I try not to let it bother me but I’m young ( 35) and I have a blue badge because I have a few health problems which put me into the category of disabled and entitle me to pip and a blue badge. I do work (only part time as that’s a struggle but I do it for my own mental health but I think even that might have to go soon but I’m trying to last as long as I can) and almost every time I pull my car into the disabled spaces I get dirty looks and “badge checked” by the older generation and it’s ALWAYS older people !! It’s like younger folk can’t have disabilities!! Yet I can literally go from being okayish one day to hospitalised the next (I have a very understanding manager) and my car is a lifeline. I do try to brush it off but today I had a run in with an older man and he asked to see the photo on my badge to prove it was mine, I obviously told him he’s not entitled to that information and it’s not an elderly badge it’s a disabled badge and I cried when I was driving home.
it’s not fair…. I’m sick of being judged because I’m not “old” and don’t “look disabled” whatever that should look like. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it really genuinely does. So AIBU to be annoyed at being judged by the older generation because I use a badge I’m legally entitled to??

Genuine question.

How would your mum feel if she got 'badge checked' by a random stranger everytime she got out of her car?

In general people are idiots, I mean what would they actually do if you said “I haven’t got a blue badge and I’m going to park there anyway”? Absolutely nothing! Next time call them out on it, “who do you think you are? Who gave you authority to police my blue badge? Do you know how constantly being questioned by strangers about my disability makes me feel?”

I remember during Covid I got called for a flu jab and we all had to line up outside the doctors and go through like a conveyor belt and the man in front of me said to me “you shouldn’t be here, you’re not old enough for a flu jab” and I said I’m not old, but I am 9 months pregnant and he said “are you!?” and I had to turn to the side and point at my (massive) belly.

Two options
1- tell them politely but firmly it's none of their business and you don't answer to them
2- or simply tell them to piss off and not to be so sodding nosey

Why on earth should people have to explain their r private medical history to random strangers?

Lots of conditions that cause disability are invisible. People just need to educate themselves

My condition is not just mainly invisible (to the untrained eye, my neurologist can see the visible signs) but incredibly rare. Why should I have to explain it to people. I don't mind discussing it with friends and family, but I fail to see why I need to explain it to anyone who sees me using a disabled loo or disabled space.

We recently went through the process to get a blue badge for my mum, and it's a lot of work! I know it's easier said than done, but just smile back at them, and remember you wouldn't have got the badge if you weren't entitled x

I get it too
I'm 30 and it's always the older generations - they have rants in their cars next to me to their passengers and then other people "glare" at me then scan my dashboard for my badge.
I just tell them to fuck off they don't need to know why I have my blue badge
If they can get into a confrontation with me when I'm minding my business I have no qualms with telling them to fuck off just because they are older and "deserve" respect.

There will always be people like that unfortunately.

When I had unexplained seizures I was quite young and had a disability bus pass. This one time I used it on a train (not free but discounted fare on rail) and a woman next to me told me I am using a disability pass and she went to go find the train conductor to argue I am not disabled. 😆 I couldn't believe it, she didn't come back.
I was quite distressed about my condition at the time so I never engaged with people as I didn't like to talk about it.

Sparklebelle1024 If you haven't reached the stage where you're confident to give them both barrels and to hell with what they do to you, then I suggest you figure out what you would like to say, polite or otherwise and print a few hand outs up to keep in your vehicle..

Something along the lines of "Not so dear concerned citizen/ ablest arsehole/ To whom it may concern: If you have any concerns about my use of the blue badge issued to me for my disability, please feel free to report my badge number and registration to X/any council who will investigate it. If you approach me directly again you are likely to be reported to the police for harassment."
Shove it into their hands, lock your car and make as quick a getaway as your disability allows without otherwise responding.

Be aware another few decades and you too will be an older person as well as disabled. So don't take crap from people who stereotype you, but be careful not to stereotype others, unless they actively deserve it.

Cheeky fucker! How DARE he?! I would have told him I am calling the police on him for harassing me! The cheek of him!

The people I know who get hounded just ignore the idiots hounding them. People hate being ignored. Especially attention seeking entitled fuckers who think they have some kind of authority.

IGNORE THEM! And if they persist, call the police. They are harassing and goading a disabled person. It's fucking disgusting.

I find the same, I’m 43 but look younger (some days 🤣), and I get judgy looks when parking in a disabled spot and feel like I’m then watched so that I can ‘do a disabled’ for the onlookers.

Is that a type of dance, or something?

Not really sure what they’re expecting tbh. But I’d imagine they’re bitterly disappointed with what they get and it reinforces their view that I’m unworthy of my badge.

@Levelinguperased

🤣🤣👍🏻

I ended up coming up with some stock phrases when I was younger, particularly pre-wheelchair when I'd use a crutch to get into the supermarket then use their scooter or lean on the trolley...

Can I see your badge:

'Yes, this is my badge, are you a traffic warden or police officer?... Then no you may not examine it.'

You're too young to use this space/you don't look old enough to have a badge:

'You look too old to be that ignorant/stupid/immature/rude...'

And if you don't fancy those...

'Please stop harrassing me or I will call the police...' and get your phone out to do so.

I had the same problem when I was younger, the general population in my town is on average, over 65, and it is not easy to get a blue badge unless you have PIP here, so theres a big group of people who for whatever reason (and probably pretty good ones) who feel they should have a badge, who do not have one and are pissed off about it.

It's shit we have to arm ourselves in advance with phrases, strap on our brave pants before we go out etc... but it is the way it is unfortunately.

Hoot.
Shall I touch you and transfer my disability to you?

Meh, nobody is owed an explanation as to why you are parking in a BB. The only explanation should be displayed on your dashboard, before you exit your vehicle. That is all anyone needs to do. If people wish to get into it with retorts, phrases, whatever, with randoms, that is up to them I suppose. Just walk away.

You need to develop a thicker skin OP. We can't dictate how others behave, only how we react to it. Stop looking at other people when you're parking up and don't worry about what they're thinking - it doesn't matter. You can only see their 'funny looks' if you're looking at them. The old man who approached you should be told briskly to mind his own business. I say all this as the mum of a 30 year old autistic learning disabled son, we get stares and funny looks all the time. I don't worry about it because these people's opinions are completely irrelevant to me. Their behaviour says much about them and nothing about you.

I say a disability is not always visible I could be mentally unstable and be prone to outbursts of violence, that usually gets them running away, nosy fuckers

Oh blimey tell me about it! Mine doesn't involve blue badge use,it's on public transport. I've been disabled since I was 30,and use a walking stick. Therefore I often sit in a priority seat on the bus/train. The number of times I have been questioned as to why I was sitting in a priority seat (practically always by much older people). I was frequently being told 'You're too young to be disabled'. As if disability is any respecter of age. Now I'm 60,it obviously rarely happens,but I still sometimes feel like I'm being given the 'once over' by the disability police on public transport.

Ask to see THEIR identification and for them to confirm what authority they have to be asking you for personal information.

I don't really need a stick, it helps a little but not much, but I often take one with me when I use public transport purely because it renders my invisible disability visible.

But yes, once I am sat down, I do get looks. And using public transport makes me so ill so rapidly that I rarely risk it. Even when I am feeling really unwell only those close to me can "see" the difference (my eyelids drop and my mouth droops and my head drops)

@Zebedee999

Yes, of course OP should be 'grateful' that people show 'care' in an adversarial manner.

Sure, sure.

Muppet...

Your elderly mother sounds amazing. Disabled and still working as a traffic warden. She must get a lot of grief doing her job. /sarcasm

Oh? She is not a traffic warden? Then why the fuck is she confronting BB holders? She does not "care" that the spaces are only used for BB holders... she is holding to the stereotype that only the elderly people can park in them... and proving the OP right that it is grumpy old folk like your mum who is confronting younger people about their BB entitlement.

Yes, because the challenger has the courage to stand up and challenge someone they believe may be a criminal by abusing the Blue Badge scheme. The challenger thinks they are standing up for the disabled.
Surely it would be easy nowadays to provide disabled people with a swipe card to validate parking in disabled spaces to eliminate fraud and the unpleasantness of being doubted.

Surely people are checking that the car owner has a BB in order to protect the disabled spaces from being used by able bodied people. I do not understand why people think they can used disability spaces when they are not disabled just because they think they'll 'only be a minute'.