To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

[Sparklebelle1024]

I try not to let it bother me but I’m young ( 35) and I have a blue badge because I have a few health problems which put me into the category of disabled and entitle me to pip and a blue badge. I do work (only part time as that’s a struggle but I do it for my own mental health but I think even that might have to go soon but I’m trying to last as long as I can) and almost every time I pull my car into the disabled spaces I get dirty looks and “badge checked” by the older generation and it’s ALWAYS older people !! It’s like younger folk can’t have disabilities!! Yet I can literally go from being okayish one day to hospitalised the next (I have a very understanding manager) and my car is a lifeline. I do try to brush it off but today I had a run in with an older man and he asked to see the photo on my badge to prove it was mine, I obviously told him he’s not entitled to that information and it’s not an elderly badge it’s a disabled badge and I cried when I was driving home.
it’s not fair…. I’m sick of being judged because I’m not “old” and don’t “look disabled” whatever that should look like. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it really genuinely does. So AIBU to be annoyed at being judged by the older generation because I use a badge I’m legally entitled to??

Some folks do though, I was challenged on using a parent and child space when I parked up to get my child from nursery, the woman was hovering and came sceeeching over to tell me I couldn’t park there, all aggressive and righteous, she slunk away when she saw the child seat and I said I was picking up, did the walk of shame.

some people are just really fucking weird. They do stuff like that. Makes you wonder what’s wrong with them. Everyone knows anyone can be collecting a child, man or woman, whatever age, and everyone can have. a disability. And it’s not always visible nor is it age related.

honestly if anyone is out there making like they work for the council or the supermarket, monitoring usage, then they need to stop, get a job or volunteer, as it’s cringe worthy crazy ass behavuour,

@Zebedee999 · Yesterday 20:49

YABU.

OP I don't see your issue. My elderly mother has a blue badge and gets frustrated when the disabled space she uses is occupied by someone not entitled to it. Then when challenged she gets the usual "I was only 5 minutes" "I was in a rush" "Didn't know it was a disabled space" etc etc.

People care that these spaces are only used by those deserving of them, they have your interest at heart. Why not just show them you are justified to use the space and be grateful some people care?

People demanding to see young peoples blue badges - and it IS always young people targeted - is NOT the same as people confronting someone using a disabled space without a blue badge.

Your scenario with your elderly mother is not remotely the same as the OP's dilemma, and that of many people like her, who are poked at and bullied for being a YOUNGER person with a blue badge!

I think we must be very lucky. Nobody has ever challenged us like this.

What age were you when you got your blue badge?

Are people really suggesting that those challenging others’ blue badges are doing it out of kind concern for the proper use of spaces by disabled people?!

That almost made me laugh. They don’t care that you have the disabled parking spaces you need. They are dicks who are resentful and envious that you have something they don’t! And they are idiots for not realising that they are being jealous of a disability 🙄🤯

I have zero experience of having a blue badge but I assume those who use the spaces largely are entitled to them (some idiots will always abuse the spaces of course) . I don’t look at people to see how disabled they are. What the hell is wrong with people??!

I would be so pissed off if challenged. No way would I smile benignly at them.

Ahhh I am so sorry you experienced that . A year ago I was pumped full of steroids and ballooned to the point I couldn't recognise myself.

I used to get abuse screamed at me by random strangers. It's utterly grim. I feel for you.

And yes to the assumption everyone who is disabled is on benefits. I see that on Mumsnet quite a lot. Not that it is shameful to be on benefits but I wish people would realise that plenty of disabled people work

It’s my child’s bb. Neither of us look ancient or disabled.

I know they do. They shouldn't though and I agree with your post. I don't know why they do it

Disabled people who qualify SHOULD claim benefits. PIP is designed to alleviate some of the difficulties faced by those with disabilities which helps both the individual and society.

I’m not sure it is envy, in my experience it is people entitled to use the spaces who challenge others. As said, it is utterly batshit behaviour . They appoint themselves as parking space police and run around challenging randoms who use them. Without understanding anyone can have a hidden disability, or anyone can be collecting a child.

Ignore them op - I know it's easier said than done. I get this too when I take my friend out (it's her BB). Often when I jump out of the car I'm challenged so I tell them to go round the passenger side and have a look at my friends legs. Often they can't get away quick enough. One woman even stood in the disabled space to try and stop us parking there!

The people who think that these 'challengers' are doing some sort of public service need to broaden their perspective.

It is harassment. Imagine having to deal with, or deal with the fear of, a random and possibly hostile stranger asking for your personal medical details everytime you step out of your car. Disabled people, including those with non-visible disabilities, deserve to be treated with respect and as individuals. They are entitled to privacy. You are not entitled to their medical information.

If, for arguments sake, the 'challenger' did encounter someone misusing the badge then it's naive (arrogant?) of them to think that their interaction will prevent misuse ongoing. If they're genuinely doing it in the public interest (and not just for the thrill) they would be better reporting it through the appropriate channels so the council can deal with it.

I would imagine it’s bullies who do this. We haven’t experienced the bb confrontations, but I have seen people cross the road to be antagonistic to my (adult) disabled child. I’ve had people come from different parts of a shop to “correct” him. It’s not any age or sex that does this but a small subset of very viciously unkind people.

on the flip side there are people who are staggeringly kind and helpful in a way that is so touching.

It is a weird feeling, but do glare right back, or raise the eyebrows or wave. My friend has used a wheelchair since her late 20s. We are both nearly 50 and I do notice the looks we get when I'm out with her. She's now in an electric wheelchair that comes out on ramp from a van, when it was the folding chair I'd be challenged before or during taking it round to her side of the car "those spaces aren't for injuries you know" . But we've still had weird comments with the electric chair (how comfy, saves walking eh? Etc). She has a range of responses, most of them quite blunt along the lines of "I'd give anything to get to old actually" being a very powerful one as her main conditions are life limiting. People (not just the elderly but I suppose there are more elderly people who have a condition requiring better access can be so caught up in a fixed view of the world and one view is that somw people used blue badge spaces needlessly.

I know you mean well, but saying things like that kist reinforces the idea that real disabilities are visible

Mine is rarely obvious to the untrained eye, but profoundly disabling. (No pain, just the more I use my muscles the weaker I get)

I'm making the point @CassandraWebb that it's not my badge and it doesn't have to be. Nosy busy bodies normally back right off if they're challenged.

Ha love that

I've had a BB since my early 20s. I'm 34 now and still get looks and scoffs. It pisses DP off more than me.

I have in the past just ignored them. Completely blanked them when i heard them discuss with the person they were with ans then ask if it's mine.

It's no one else's business

Surely it’s obvious that the culprits here are the people who steal blue badges or abuse ones belonging to family and friends?

These people are suspicious because they have seen real misuse in the past. It must be upsetting if they think they can’t get the space they need because someone is in it without the right to be.

Maybe you can only give the benefit of the doubt so many times before you get fed up.

So just say that. You don't need to tell people to look at your friend's legs. That's unnecessary

"May be a criminal" I have seen it all now!

My son is a wheelchair user and so he has a blue badge so we can can get him in and out of the car. Also in a wheelchair he's lower down and so it's dangerous in a car park as he can't be seen.
We look like a family with teens in a normal estate car. If we are being glared at when we park DH and I jump out of the car (one to grab the chair from the boot, the other to sort out the parking charge) and wait to see if we get remarks as it happens so often until DS transfers to his chair.
Ds has a great attitude about it and doesn't pull any verbal punches. He's a lifetime of being stared at and his personality is to take it on the chin.

No, the culprits are the people who think they have the right to harass disabled people using their blue badges so they can park/get out of their vehicle. It is that simple.

Do people demand to check another shoppers credit card isn't stolen or belongs to someone else and is being misused because their appearance doesn't match up to what they're spending/buying?

Or demand to check others receipts against their shopping to see if they've genuinely paid for it all because they don't look like they genuinely have?

We all know credit card fraud and shoplifting are huge, so surely shoppers 'can only give the benefit of the doubt so many times before they get fed up.'

They just use excuses as cover to target those they feel safe to bully.

That analogy doesn’t work because other shoppers don’t care if the shop is being defrauded. The shop itself does check.

If my paraplegic brother can’t park in a space that allows him to get his chair out, he might ask the space-user if they are entitled to be there because he needs the space himself. Can’t you see the difference?

I do not understand why people would park in BB spaces either, without a badge. I also do not understand why people think that they can confront others either. It is not their place, and could actually be dangerous. Some people have very short fuses. I am disabled, and would never dream of taking someone to task, over a BB space.