To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

[LookAtThatCritter]

I work from home and unfortunately the only space that we have available for my work station is in our bedroom. I know - it's a pain, but it is what it is. We don't have space for it in the living room/kitchen, and I need a room with a door that shuts anyway because I have a lot of client meetings & work with financials.

I just need the space during normal working hours, so if I work unreasonably early or late I'm totally fine with having someone else in the room and I try to be really quiet. But during normal working hours, I like to try and separate my work from home so I don't get distracted and can stay productive.

Sometimes my husband will wander in during the work day and start napping in the bed (which is what my desk faces). I find this really annoying and distracting, but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if this is okay. He only works part time right now and no night shifts or anything like that. It's not even the napping that's annoying me - but we have a sofa in the living room he could use. I just don't want someone sleeping in the same room I'm working.

Am I being a bitch, or am I justified to ask him to stop?? 😫

Really? I love a nap, it’s one of my favourite things to do. 😊

This is and was easily resolved since he can and will nap on the couch.

I can't imagine there's anything confidential about working at home in a small home. Surely most of the household can hear the conversations anyway, even with the door closed?

Need more info really. Does he do nightshifts so needs to sleep during day? In that case yes the bedroom is for him, it's your home.

A nap or a proper sleep? Xx

Ah I see, DH works pt. In that case he's lucky to get a nap and should do it somewhere else where DW isn't working! X

It's all in the OP. No he doesn't shifts. He only works part time. No mention of illness

Can you go into the office to work?
I’d have a polite conversation with him if I were in your shoes.. I would just tell him that his napping is disturbing your work.
Persoanlly I’m wondering why he’s tired during the day if he’s only working part time? Has he been poorly?

I think you’re completely reasonable. How are you supposed to stay in work mode when you can see someone sleeping?

I think it’s rude of your DP.

<bangs head against wall>

He's very, very careful! My colleagues do not need to see DH in his pants!

Wow, he’s a grown man, why is he napping such a lot anyway. It sounds to me like he’s a bit needy and just wants to be with her. I don’t really see why the op should have the inconvenience of having to go out of the house to work, just because an adult man wants to ‘nap’! I’m assuming that op’s salary benefits them both, so he should take that into account and nap on the sofa if he really needs to.

Surely he can nap on the couch? If not, incest in a blow up mattress for the living room.

Glad you’re sorted!

Incest on a blow up mattress is never a good idea

The way that’s phrased (‘for him to be…) makes it sound a bit like you think that would be on the DH. Obviously you didn’t mean that, as clearly the DH does not owe a duty of confidentiality here? OP and her employer do, so OP needs to sort out a suitable space compatible with confidentiality (I don’t think locking others out for the whole of the working day is reasonable) or go into the office.

Alright I didn’t RTFT, apologies OP! But my point still (kind of) stands.

YANBU and I wouldn't like it either. I have sometimes sat and worked while my husband was reading a book or browsing on his tablet, but sleeping? It is inconsiderate, even if the bed is more comfy than the sofa. But.....what healthy adult needs daytime naps I wonder, unless working very irregular hours ?

I don't think it's on to ban him from his own bedroom. Can you not put a desk downstairs?

This is getting even more interesting.

Ooh I bet Op wishes that she had thought of that.

Husband is a f'n idiot. I am male and work from home, if my better half did, I'd stay out her way. As she does mine unless necessary. Works part time, and needs to nap, back to his mummy for a nap if you ask me.

I cannot believe people, especially woman, are defending this man and talking about banning him from his own bedroom etc! If it was the husband working from him I bet he’d expect his wife to stay out of the way. He’s completely out of order when she is obviously the main breadwinner and he has the luxury of working part time why does a grown man need naps?

Just loving some of the wise suggestions here. A garden office? A kitchen table? Putting a desk downstairs?! Hahahahaha...

You mansion dwellers must surely realise that many people don't have gardens, let alone ones large enough for an (expensive) office shed. And many people don't have kitchen tables because their bloody kitchens only have space for a tiny worktop. And many homes are flats that don't even have a "downstairs"!

I have a feeling OP would have considered these solutions herself were they an option.

It's his home first and foremost. You'll have to put up with it or go and find a workspace somewhere else. Cafe, library etc.

SPEAK TO HIM ❤️

Amazing that in a long thread nearly a week old the OP has not thought to do that yet