To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

[LookAtThatCritter]

I work from home and unfortunately the only space that we have available for my work station is in our bedroom. I know - it's a pain, but it is what it is. We don't have space for it in the living room/kitchen, and I need a room with a door that shuts anyway because I have a lot of client meetings & work with financials.

I just need the space during normal working hours, so if I work unreasonably early or late I'm totally fine with having someone else in the room and I try to be really quiet. But during normal working hours, I like to try and separate my work from home so I don't get distracted and can stay productive.

Sometimes my husband will wander in during the work day and start napping in the bed (which is what my desk faces). I find this really annoying and distracting, but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if this is okay. He only works part time right now and no night shifts or anything like that. It's not even the napping that's annoying me - but we have a sofa in the living room he could use. I just don't want someone sleeping in the same room I'm working.

Am I being a bitch, or am I justified to ask him to stop?? 😫

lol no that’s the size of the entire flat (and it’s less than 50 sq m I just haven’t given the specific number)

Your home is not suitable for home working if that's the only arrangement! You need another work environment sorting.

So if you are on a teams meeting could someone witness your husband snoozing behind you because that would be ridiculous? And then of course you wouldn't be unreasonable to say no.

What a strange thing to do! I would be annoyed too.

Sorry and completely off topic but this has intrigued me, does that mean if in the office that day it was only say me and your friend, I'd be tasked with safeguarding role?
It sounds awful but I don't think I could take that responsibility on, especially due to childcare pick ups if needing to wait for medical assistance. I of course would if something happened in an absolute emergency, but to be told at interview this was something expected at any point?

Some of the responses on this thread are surprising. The OP wfh, she's said there is nowhere else she can work in the house (pretty typical) yet people are suggesting she go elsewhere. Are people genuinely suggesting she spend the family's money on a co working space so a grown man can sleep in the middle of the day?

I work part time (4days a week). My day off is used to clean, cook, shop etc because I have more time off than my DP. If I went for a nap I wouldn't be doing this in a way that inconvenienced DP. If he's wfh I respect his space.

I don't agree people would support this if the sexes were reversed. Part time working women are constantly told on here that they should be getting all the housework done when not working to support their partners work.

As for the idea of building outbuildings and garden rooms, you know that people live in different ways from you? I don't have a garden or a spare room, or an extra space, pretty typical for many people living in flats

I think this thread is an excellent example of men always being wrong.

If a man worked at home and was in the way of the woman doing things, the advice would be that he should go and work somewhere else at least some of the time. Here - of course woman should have sole use of the bedroom (continuing even after the man has actually agreed to nap on the sofa).

If a woman worked part time and had a toddler, everyone would be saying how she did two jobs. Man is lazy and should be working full time.

If a woman with a toddler who worked part time wanted a rest in the middle of the day, everyone would be saying how important it was that she looked after herself. Man is lazy and it's ridciulous to be napping.

And people wonder why employers want their staff back in the office....

Client meetings / discussing finances, with your DH napping on the bed? This was never acceptable!

That’s a great outcome!!!

Well I'm not sure it's fair to say that an adult cannot be alone if they want to, no.

If it's company policy, which it is where I work, then being fair doesn't come into it.

I think this thread is an excellent example of men always being wrong.

I don't think they are always wrong, and doubt any other poster does either.

However, in domestic settings men often tend to put their immediate self-gratification ahead of what is best for the people they live with, or indeed their own best interests.

This thread and this forum is not here to be kind to men (will nobody think of the poor men!) - but to help women feel supported, and lead more fulfilling and productive lives. Female posters often post about challenges they experience from female co-workers, daughters, mothers, mothers-in-law, and female friends too.

No @ellenfan this forum is here for PARENTS not just females

Always has been

This thread and this forum is not here to be kind to men (will nobody think of the poor men!) - but to help women feel supported, and lead more fulfilling and productive lives.

It's not here just for women. And "being kind to men" doesn't prevent women being fulfilled and productive

He doesn't respect your work. He has no need for a nap, but if he wants one, he can take it on the sofa.

He has no need for a nap

How do you know?! He has already agreed to sleep on the sofa anyway.

Well, I think it does. If your contract states that you work at a certain address, I'm not sure they can force you to work from home against your will outside of a pandemic/lockdown situation.

As a non-parent, I disagree.
The point is that his being a man has nothing to do with it. It could easily be the woman who works part time and is at home when the man is trying to work.

If he pays rent/mortgage etc then the man should be able to sleep in his own bed at any time of day or night. Working from home should only be an option out with global pandemics, when you have a full, spare room to work from home and you are prepared to accept the comings and goings and noises of a home. Go to the office and if this isn't an option then hire a workspace somewhere. Why should household members be so inconvenienced.

How do places like farmhouses figure in this - where farm workers come into the kitchen for lunch?

Many, many homes are both places of work and places where people live.

It's not against my will, I'm quite happy to work at home now although I hated it at first. They just need to accept that if I can't go into the office then DH will be around as no matter what some posters think it's our home first and foremost. I'm not going to tell him he has to stay out of the living room.

@Gwenhwyfar it's literally mumsnet an own strap line....for parents,by parents....not 'mums'

The person could always just go back to the office…🤷‍♀️

The person could always just go back to the office

That's not always possible