To want my glasses back?

[FlexibleFi]

More of a WWYD than an AIBU.

I went to a wedding June. I and three other friends from university days (14 years since we graduated) were invited and booked an AirBnB for a long weekend. We don't see a lot of each other but we have a WA group and message every few weeks. It was a lovely opportunity to catch up.

After years of being really hard up, I had a significant job change this year and for the first time splashed out on a few special things — including a rather fancy pair of designer glasses instead of Specsavers basics. The glasses are for reading and computer work, I don't need them for ordinary things. They're quite a mild prescription. All three friends at the AirBnB tried my posh spex on. One, I'll call her Rachel, commented that we must have the same prescription because she could read perfectly with them. She joshed me for spending so much money on them. A couple of times over the weekend, when I'd left them sitting by my phone or book, she'd borrow them to read something without asking.

We had a great busy and boozy weekend and when I got home I couldn't find my glasses anywhere, so I messaged the group to ask if anyone had picked them up accidentally. All said no. I messaged the AirBnB owner to ask if they'd been left there. No. Searched the car, searched everywhere. No sign of them. I'm not someone who often loses things.

Then this Sunday Joanne, one of the others in the wedding group sent a screenshot from FB of Rachel reading a menu in a restaurant while wearing a pair of glasses that look just like mine. Joanne commented 'Well now we know where Fi's glasses went, LOL' on FB. By the time I managed to get onto FB (ancient account I rarely check) the image had gone — but I had the screenshot.

I messaged Rachel, sent her the screenshot and said it looked as if she'd found my glasses, could she post them back to me please. She's replied saying they're her glasses: she liked them so much that she's bought a pair exactly like mine. I don't believe it and neither does Joanne. Rachel's recently split from her long-term partner and she talked a lot while we were away of how difficult she's finding things financially at the moment.

They were £300. I could claim on travel insurance (I have annual travel insurance) or on my household contents, but then I'll have to pay more for premiums for the next few years.

Joanne has said she'll get involved if necessary but I don't want to ruin memories of a lovely weekend. I can't immediately afford to replace the spex with the same (I have a holiday booked and that will eat up my budget for the next month or two) so I'll have to order a pair of cheap prescription readers on the internet. WWYD?

@furryblanky it was Carrie’s shoes that she had to take off and leave at the door of an apartment. They were stolen and the friend whose party it was refused to replace them. I think Carrie wrote to her and appealed to her sense of fairness and she paid for them.

Shoes. They went missing at a christening party and the hostess had been really dismissive of Carrie's single/no children status. So Carrie created a fake wedding and posted a registry with replacement shoes to her bitchy friend at the apartment where the Manolos mysteriously disappeared.

Carrie had a pair of shoes at a baby shower nicked when she was told "shoes off" at the door. No suspect though. 😅

I'd message her and say I know you stole my glasses we are no longer friends, I don't want to be around a thief and not be able to Leave my belongings around.
I'd then block her and tell my other friends i still love them all and will meet up with them but when she is invited I won't be coming.
Also your insurance will not rise that much for a pair of glasses, I claimed a Mac book on mine last year and it only went up a few pounds. X

Also Samantha thought someone stole her fake Fendi bag at Hugh Hefners party at the PlayBoy mansion, she accused someone else who then showed her that her bag was real and didn't have the 'Made in China' tag that Samatha described 😆

Post the screenshot of Rachel wearing your glasses, pose the question alongside the photo

“Has anyone seen my glasses, lost during weekend away at “wherever” they look very much like these ones. Thanks all, just want to make sure before I report loss to police.

When it’s all finally, properly resolved OP, will you be sending the photo of her wearing your glasses to Moonpig.com and generating a massive personalised surprise birthday or Christmas card (whichever is soonest) for her? 😃

I think I would have to do that.

Is Rachel irish? You may well be too, just most people in the UK, I think call Pennys primark?
Just wondering if she outed herself?

Can you only buy these frames at spec savers? I would call the branch in her town & pretend to be her, & ask what model no of the glasses I had just picked up., as a Friend is interested in buying a pair (they will probably say you haven’t got them from us) proving she is lying! Worth a shot.. get a friend to listen in on the call- though you might need her address & DOB.

You would have bank statement

Amazing

I love how everyone is so quick to be judge and jury. We don’t know Rachel stole anything, despite the supposed evidence of a picture. Frankly, if someone was bullying me and accusing me of theft rather than ‘prove my innocence’ I’d just block the petty bitches and get on with my life. Rather than hiding, it seems the friend who posted the pic believes Rachel, even if OP and the Mumsnet lynch mob don’t, or she wouldn’t have removed it. As for going to the police, give it a go. What do you think will happen, they will go and arrest the girl simply on OP’s say so? OPs sense of entitlement isn’t proof! 😂😂😂

Are you Rachel?

Absolutely - so many people on here happy to assume guilt! Best not to point the finger unless you have absolute proof, which is obviously not the case here.

In my experience the police are more likely to take petty and solvable crime more seriously. Plus there’s the Small Claims Court route.

There is a simple and quick way for Rachel to put all of this speculation to bed but she hasn’t done that. The combination of saying that she had no money, clearly liking the glasses, the glasses going missing and Rachel posting and then deleting a pic of herself wearing identical glasses, refusing to engage and avoiding telephone calls etc is compelling. At this point she would just send a screenshot of the receipt to draw a line under it all but she’s chosen not to.

@Savemydrink 😂😂😂 She is absolutely Rachel. No one would else could take such a bizarre stance on this.

@Savemydrink 😂😂😂 She is absolutely Rachel. No one would else could take such a bizarre stance on this.

Say you need to get a new pair now and where did she get them, how much did she pay as you know she's skint and must have got them at bargain price.
Ask this in a shared group if you can do everyone knows you know.

I'd expect the glasses to get returned pronto.

As none of us know Rachel, no-one is ganging up on her.

I wouldn't be too sure about the police not getting involved. From their point of view, they just have to send someone round to ask to see the receipt. If Rachel can't produce it, it's a very easy collar and one more for the solved crime stats.

Not sure that removing the picture is necessarily an expression of faith in Rachel. Think about it.

If you get the same pair again I’d want to see Rachel again for meals etc, see how she deals with you both wearing your identical glasses. Good luck OP, hope you get your glasses back.

I wondered what “Pennys” was. Never heard of it here, southern England.

Sorry to rain on your Poirot moment, but a large chunk of the UK population are Irish.

A fair sized chunk of the mumsnet population are Irish also.

Penneys would be the go-to name for Primark amongst most Irish so if Rachel is Irish trying to spot her on mumsnet would be like looking for a mushroom in Ireland?

Apologies for the slightly edited response.

An alternative course of action would be to apologise profusely claiming that on closer inspection they are obviously not your glasses. Then explain that they have discontinued the design but since Rachel’s look very much like them it would be great if she could share the details because you really want to replace yours, with what appears to be a similar design.

If you want to continue to hang out together you have to move on. Personally I don't see how that will work. The deed is done and you won't ever be able to go back to how things were before, even if you wanted to.

You do lose people along the way - I have, that's for sure. My daughter had a friend come and stay with us for 3 months when her mum chucked her out. It all ended really badly when the friend stole her and my make up on the day she was leaving. My daughter never spoke to her again and lost an entire circle of friends who she knew through this girl. My daughter has never regretted it though. She says she couldn't be fake around her.

Most of us make huge allowances for friendships and it is incredibly hard if you want to keep your boundaries. Pushing hard on the glasses will have consequences, but it may do more for your self worth to be firm.