To want my glasses back?

[FlexibleFi]

More of a WWYD than an AIBU.

I went to a wedding June. I and three other friends from university days (14 years since we graduated) were invited and booked an AirBnB for a long weekend. We don't see a lot of each other but we have a WA group and message every few weeks. It was a lovely opportunity to catch up.

After years of being really hard up, I had a significant job change this year and for the first time splashed out on a few special things — including a rather fancy pair of designer glasses instead of Specsavers basics. The glasses are for reading and computer work, I don't need them for ordinary things. They're quite a mild prescription. All three friends at the AirBnB tried my posh spex on. One, I'll call her Rachel, commented that we must have the same prescription because she could read perfectly with them. She joshed me for spending so much money on them. A couple of times over the weekend, when I'd left them sitting by my phone or book, she'd borrow them to read something without asking.

We had a great busy and boozy weekend and when I got home I couldn't find my glasses anywhere, so I messaged the group to ask if anyone had picked them up accidentally. All said no. I messaged the AirBnB owner to ask if they'd been left there. No. Searched the car, searched everywhere. No sign of them. I'm not someone who often loses things.

Then this Sunday Joanne, one of the others in the wedding group sent a screenshot from FB of Rachel reading a menu in a restaurant while wearing a pair of glasses that look just like mine. Joanne commented 'Well now we know where Fi's glasses went, LOL' on FB. By the time I managed to get onto FB (ancient account I rarely check) the image had gone — but I had the screenshot.

I messaged Rachel, sent her the screenshot and said it looked as if she'd found my glasses, could she post them back to me please. She's replied saying they're her glasses: she liked them so much that she's bought a pair exactly like mine. I don't believe it and neither does Joanne. Rachel's recently split from her long-term partner and she talked a lot while we were away of how difficult she's finding things financially at the moment.

They were £300. I could claim on travel insurance (I have annual travel insurance) or on my household contents, but then I'll have to pay more for premiums for the next few years.

Joanne has said she'll get involved if necessary but I don't want to ruin memories of a lovely weekend. I can't immediately afford to replace the spex with the same (I have a holiday booked and that will eat up my budget for the next month or two) so I'll have to order a pair of cheap prescription readers on the internet. WWYD?

She's not your friend if she's nicked your spex, so I don't see why you should have to be worried about blowing the group apart.
Tell her you want them back or you'' take it further.

Just a thought but is the photo of Rachel wearing the glasses definitely taken at a seperate venue/time/occasion? You did say that she was borrowing them a lot on your trip - someone didn’t take a snap of her then did they? It would be awful to accuse someone incorrectly.

She's been questioned and said she had bought an identical pair to the op AFTER the holiday.

If Joanna is still willing to interfere than accept her doing that. If that doesn't help either, block Rachel on WA and every other medium you see her on and make sure she can't see you either. I would also make a point of telling this to each person in your circles.

I need to see a pic of these irresistible glasses, I feel a hankering to have a pair myself.
Are they glittery? Always fancied a pair of glittery glasses.

The photo was taken in Rachel's home city last weekend. She was out having a meal with a group of people, one of whom was celebrating a birthday. I'm acquainted with the birthday girl and a couple of the others pictured and I knew when and where the birthday celebration was being held. The screenshot shows Rachel at the table with several others. Some of them are holding menus and Rachel is wearing my glasses.

Sounds like she took them, but as someone who was once accused of stealing sunglasses by a friend, wait for your friend to ask Rachel then take her word for it after that.

In my case, I suspected another friend of framing me, but had no proof, so had to bear the accusations.
It was never resolved, so don't know if they were ever found, if the other friend confessed or if they all still believe I took them.
I've never gotten over it as it hurts to be accused of something you didn't do.

In your case, you've actually see her wearing them,but there is a small chance they could be hers.

If she's lying and doesn't take the opportunity to come clean, that's her cross to bear.

You should have put a public comment on fb.
You found my glasses Rachael.
Thank you so much.
Give them to J when you see her.

Yes!!!

I’m glad someone asked this question. I have been visualising this

Not unlike that, but think of a strong and slightly unusual colour. I have Mediterranean colouring: dark hair, olive skin. I can take a strong colour/ look.

How many days between losing them and her pic wearing the same glasses ? I have astigmatism and Specs Savers make me wait 10 days to collect due to that. She would have had to have an eye test(can't always get a convenient appointment for this) , order and wait then collect in those days.. Have you looked to reorder? I had a posh pair costing 300 quid a few years ago. Not even the end of that season SS weren't still ordering them. Change of season /brands they told me. Had to get different ones next time. Gutted.

The glasses weren't from Specsavers. I've said that several times.

Ask her to either provide the receipt, the glasses, or the £300. Make sure she knows damn well that none of your friends believe her BS.

I've been there (with housemates) and in my experience thieves like this will dig their heels in and lie like a child. They think if they commit to the lie and refuse to admit it then nobody will ever know. They tend to break and admit it, however, once the entire group confronts them.

Ask your friends to support you on this. This definitely isn't her first time, and she needs to know she's been rumbled.

We had a 'friend' at University Halls like this. We all knew what she was doing - but really hard to call her out - until one of my house mates found a brilliant solution. I had bought a new top - which she 'loved' and borrowed. Few weeks later - mine had disappeared - but miraculously she had bought the identical one herself. (yes - we all knew it was mine). My mate snuck it out of the washing machine - and unpicked the hem a little and hung it up to dry. She then loudly announced that she had 'found' my top - and that it was definitely mine as the hem had started to come down -- she then kindly fixed it with a different colour thread. We them all started to do something to anything we thought she had her eye on - a colour stitch / dab of nail varnish on the back of earrings etc. She didn't get a way with it again - but she tried a few more times, and got caught out.

When Joanne finally sees Rachel, could she lay it on thick and say something like:
”obviously you are being unfairly accused when you have bought your own pair of the specs. Surely you want to clear your name?! How awful that people think that you have taken them. Just pop a screen shot of the bank transaction on the group chat and - job done!! Then we can all move on”.

I feel less and less that Rachel is going to return them though. She’s going to double down and ghost the group. All for the sake of a stupid, jealous action. A group of good friends lost for £300.

Yes, if it’s a quick win they might, but despite your belief that the evidence is ‘compelling’ it is anything but. It is entirely circumstantial, subjective and downright prejudiced! There is absolutely no reason for Rachel to prove her innocence. In this country it’s innocent until proven guilty, remember? I sincerely hope all these people jumping to unfounded conclusions of guilt are never called to do jury service! Also, re the police, it’s very much a postcode lottery. I lived in Norfolk for a while and yes, the police would come out for petty crimes because they didn’t have much to do. I now live in a city and people here are lucky to get anything more than a crime number for insurance purposes unless there is an immediate threat to life. I know as I was harassed by a male neighbour for almost a year, I had proof including recordings, but the police said they didn’t have the resources to do anything unless he attacked me. They said call back if he gets violent - so helpful!

@DestructoCat just give glasses back!

My guess is it’s @MsNorburry who should return the glasses. But she won’t.

But if the person who posted it thought Rachel was a thief why take it down? It doesn’t make any sense, unless Mumsnet is now accusing this unknown person of being an accomplice! Are we now saying she is part of an organised spectacles crime ring? 🤣🤣

Because Rachel asked her to.

What is this - Baby Reindeer? Loving the self appointed online sleuths 🤣🤣

I give up 🤦‍♀️ 🤣

Loving all this ‘Murder She Wrote’ nonsense. Oh, and I meant to tell you that Small Claims Court is for civil matters. OP is accusing her friend of theft, which is a criminal charge.

Please do.