@Plantbasedpeanuts you say: "It isn’t the money so much as I feel that they are basically saying I don’t matter"
but then you also say:
They are worried he will benefit from it or maybe leave me and take half of it.
So which is it, as it can't be both? Either way, by the sounds of it, it goes to your children.
Frankly -and I know that the vast majority of MN will never agree with me- but I think it's hugely wrong and always have thought it that people discuss their wills so freely with their family. Due to a whole range of factors relating to my family unit, I had to shut my mother down at every oppurtunity when she wanted to tell me what was in her will. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Know.
Added to which, my MIL very nearly spent most of hers on care home fees, so there was no knowing how my parents would end up.
As it was, they both passed while living at home and had zero care expenses, but that was never going to be a given. I only knew what was in my father's will before he died because mum went first & her will and his was a mirror...but that said, my father was planning on updating his will (he never got the chance as he fell ill not long after mum died and he too passed), and I am 99% sure he wouldn't have told me what changes he would have made.
To add further, had he changed his will, my husband and I - as the ones who looked after him following my mum's death- were in a hugely vulnerable position, given that other family members were likely to accuse us of coercing him to any changes had he made any.
The discussion of wills with beneficiaries is one I find most uncomfortable.