My Dh just said I did drugs

[FeatherBoas]

My DH just said I did drugs I never did, the worst was probably a drag on my mum's (stolen) cigarette when I was about ten, I once lit a cigarette for a boy friend while he was driving many years ago. I don't, never did smoke, never have done any illegal drugs, I had friends who did weed, I didn't, I once saw people doing heroin I didn't. I feel really upset why did he say this and when I said I never did he's still saying I did, ridiculous but it seems like he's talking about someone else, he has had a few drinks. We've been together for many years where has this come from? I was in tears with my adult DD.

Why would this leave you in tears?

Seems a bit of an over reaction to something you say is untrue? Has he got his wires crossed about what you've told him in the past?

I think you need to be a bit more resilient.

It was just so out of the blue, and as though it was something he had always known, but totally untrue.

That’s okay my DH says I have slept with half of Skegness. He’s very much joking and I have never cried over it. Gently OP get a grip.

This was not a joke and when I denied it he doubled down.

Give it him back. Keep referring to 'when he used to like wearing women's clothes'.

This feels like half a story

Doubled down you say?

Maybe 10% of one.

OP does he drink a lot? Gaslight a lot?

Basically said I was lying.

Have you had a few drinks too? Seems like something to talk about in the morning.

I wish.

Oh right. Have you asked him why he’s saying this?

I had a drink too but what the hell!

This is so odd and so not an issue

You know you didnt, so why does it matter?

Even if you did, so what

Presumably you then say “don’t be ridiculous” and laugh at him ?

Just wondering if that's what's caused your over emotional response. Talk about it in the morning.

Years ago I was having a "heated discussion" with my partner and I brought up something from the past that had always niggled me. I finished off with a flounce to be reckoned with, and as a parting shot as I went through the door I said "I don't know why I married you". Slightly unfortunate, as I then remembered that what I had been referring to had happened with my ex-husband, and DP and I weren't actually married. We are now.

So maybe he was just getting confused.

I said what are you talking about, but he just repeated that he knew it, I was baffled really, I know he's had a drink or maybe one too many, but where did this come from?

No idea. As PP said maybe talk about it in the morning.

Well he's clearly pissed and talking bollox, I'd just ignore and maybe go out for a walk if it's not pissing down where you are.

He probably won't remember it in the morning and that will be another argument. I will say nothing, but it hurts.

It can be very disconcerting when someone you love and trust projects a distorted image of you out into the world. Even knowing it's not true, you can still be left shaken by it. You are not being unreasonable.

I get that this can be upsetting as my dh went through a phase of calling me an alcoholic as a joke. My dd then repeated it a few times. I have a single drink maybe once every 3 months but it is then I get the comment. I know it's not true. They know it's not true but it grates on me!