My Dh just said I did drugs

[FeatherBoas]

My DH just said I did drugs I never did, the worst was probably a drag on my mum's (stolen) cigarette when I was about ten, I once lit a cigarette for a boy friend while he was driving many years ago. I don't, never did smoke, never have done any illegal drugs, I had friends who did weed, I didn't, I once saw people doing heroin I didn't. I feel really upset why did he say this and when I said I never did he's still saying I did, ridiculous but it seems like he's talking about someone else, he has had a few drinks. We've been together for many years where has this come from? I was in tears with my adult DD.

I second this - particularly if this accusation is shared with your children. It could affect your relationship with them, if they don't know who to believe,oe if they believe him.

@Mongrelsrbeautiful agree re the children. Dd thought it was funny to ask if I was drunk when I had a sip of a drink so it got to the point I was nervous to have a drink as I would be waiting for the comments. All in jest but why? I hated it but he's stopped now and I told dd no more

Drunk people say stupid things. If he's drinking to the point that he can't remember the next morning, isn't that the bigger problem?

May be I'm over reacting, but saying that in front of my DD when it is totally untrue and from someone I do love, is just really painful and where did that thought even come from? He's known me forever and knows, I thought at least, that I never have done any drugs, not even smoked. Just hit me like a brick.

Is there a backstory here? Does he have form for being argumentative or difficult?

As a one off it’s weird, but not something I could get upset over. Lots of people do drugs, it’s not like he said you murdered someone.

If he gets so drunk he says stupid things which are lies then forgets, he has a drinking problem. Address it tomorrow.

Your reaction seems extreme though .. Crying and it hit you like a brick?! Maybe both sleep on it and when you both have a clear head in the morning tell him he was talking rubbish, wasn’t funny and not to do it again

I’m a bit confused.

Your drunk DH has said something about you that is completely, ridiculously untrue. I don’t understand why this would reduce you to tears rather than you just rolling your eyes, calling him a dickhead and telling him he’s had enough to drink?

Surely there has to be more to it? Is there a history of him saying stuff like this?

So what? I have done a fuck ton of disco biscuits in my time. I regret nothing and certainly would never be ashamed!

I wouldn't care if I did, as you say, not that unusual, but I don't and never did so where did it come from? I may be getting a bit worried about his memory recall etc, we are not that young, but why this?

And yes he can be argumentative and difficult, and mis-remember things I say.

Why do you keep asking us where his comments came from? How can we possibly know?

If the conversation is still ongoing could you record it on your phone, not video just audio and ask him straight out why he said it? Dont argue just ask what you want to know and does he really think that etc etc. Dont argue or shout just ask. Then tomorrow when you are both sober ask him again. If he just admits he was trying to wind you up then you can deal with that then, but if he claims ignorance tell him you recorded the conversation as it bothered you and he knew you qere upset play it back to him. Its amazing what hearing something sober does.

He sounds like an arse
Has he always been an arse?

Sounds like the problem isn't your husband talking shit, it's that he's drunk on a random Monday evening.

You're also being very dramatic.

Do you both drink a lot? does he just drink a lot? Maybe time for a chat in the morning.

Exactly what I was wondering…

It wouldn't make me cry if DH said something like that (he wouldn't), but it would make me cross.

This!!!!

For heaven’s sake OP, either ask him tomorrow or forget it.

Skeggie?

Tacky.

Slap him.

What's wrong with Windsor? You're too classy for a chavfest like Skeggie.

I don't know, if you had someone you are very close to accuse you of something totally untrue would you really be able to just brush it off? Even if they had had a few drinks?

My mother in law accused me of leading her son astray with drinking once. She went ballistic!

It came about because she said she wishes she had more photos of us together, so I obliged and got my phone out and showed her pictures of us out for Halloween at an 80s night. We were drinking cocktails. Big deal!

She just went nuts. We aren't big drinkers at all! It was a rare boozy night out.

Anyway. Turned out she was worried because dh dad had a drinking problem and was projecting.

Is there any history of drug problems in your family? (Hard drugs like heroin etc)

My father was up for half a shandy!

That's pretty bizarre. What type of drugs is he accusing you of taking? Weed? Prescription? Ecstasy? Heroin? There's alot of difference between having a puff of a joint, being overly reliant on co-codamol or shooting up smack.

Yes I would just brush it off as I’d know how ridiculous it is

Depends on your personality, I was annoyed and upset in equal measures and shed a few tears.

Your adult dd will believe you. Your husband is just a drunk arse - you are taking this way too seriously.