To ask if you have found your soulmate?

[CobaltQueen]

And at what age/where did you meet them ?
I'm starting to see that being single isn't making me happy. I think being in a relationship makes life much easier. More money, instant social life and holidays as well as people accepting you more. There's more opportunities if you are in a couple as well I find. I am 39 now and not the most attractive by a long shot as well as being pretty shy and awkward. Just wondered if any of you had met your partner later in life and did it make your life nicer or easier ?

I met mine at 40 on OLD. We had 14 years together before he died of cancer. This was 20 months ago and I still feel like my heart has been ripped out and my life's meaning had gone.
I'm 56 and will never date another man as no one else can take his place

I don't believe in soul mates.

Met my soulmate when I was 16 and he was 19 which was 27 years ago

When I was 17 I won a scholarship to go on an exchange to a tiny village in Germany, from my home in New Zealand. The other scholarship winners were going to Munich and Berlin and I wanted to go to a big city, I cried and tried to get my mum to ask them to change it, but no luck, off I went to this little village in the middle of nowhere.

On new year’s eve 1999 I was out at a party in that village and I kissed a boy in my English class at the Gymnasium - he was lovely and we were quite besotted and spent a lot of time holding hands and kissing until I left to go home to NZ 3 weeks later. After I got home he sent me a letter saying he was going to come and visit- my mum was quite strict and he wouldn’t have been allowed to stay and I didn’t know how to tell him that so I ignored his letter and we totally lost touch.

In 2001 I met the man who who be my husband who turned out to be mean and abusive. I occasionally thought in passing of my old flame from high school and even looked him up on Facebook but never made contact.

In 2022 my marriage was falling apart and out of nowhere I received a linkedin message from High School Boyfriend. We exchanged a few messages after 24 years silence and it was lovely to hear from him. In a completely random stroke of fate I was being sent in a work trip to a European city - and he happened to have a conference on the same date. We had dinner and it was so so lovely to see him - it felt so easy to be with him again and he looked at me with such fondness I felt quite bereft. I had not finally called time on my marriage at that point so was very stiff and formal with him, despite being in emotional turmoil, and said goodbye thinking I would never see him again. The next day I was booked on the early
Eurostar to London and cried the whole way there, for sadness at finding him again and saying goodbye and seeing that someone out there had always loved me in a way my husband never did.

I went back to NZ and ended my marriage which was a hideous experience as my abusive exH spun completely out of control.

When High School Old Flame learnt I was single he sent my flowers on Valentine’s day 2023 and we arranged to meet in New York in May 2023 for a week - we met at JFK and kissed for the first time in 24 years. We have been in a relationship ever since … I just dropped him to the airport this morning. He is totally the love of my life and I believe my soulmate - the universe conspired to bring him back to me and I feel so lucky every day that we are together.

I used to be extremely cynical and say there was no such thing as soul mates but the odds of us meeting and finding each other again are so infinitesimal that I am converted ❤️

My best friends are my soul mates. They've transcended bad boyfriends and bad marriages. We often talk about growing old together once our husbands have died or fucked off.

As much as I love DH, I wouldn't describe him as my soul mate.

Soulmate? Dh is a bit of a diamond and I met him late 20's. I am quite wierd and always craved a loving meaningful relationship from a young age, but never really had one, despite a few boyfriends, until I met dh. I have very good friends aswell, one from school, one from uni, 3 live close by. My mum is fab too. So i'm fulfilled in many ways. But I was also always very content, my mum says as a child i was.

Are you content naturally Op?
But tbf, life is easier with a partner. Someone to share things with, laugh with, double income so life easier.

I really don't believe in soul mates. To me it's a rather silly romantic notion. Yes I have a DH I love but there are thousands of other men in the world I could have been happy with.
I also worry about people who want a partner to fill a void in their life. Obviously a good relationship can bring happiness but I feel it's far healthier to try and create a fulfilling life without a partner, rather than hoping someone else will make you happy.
Anyway, I met DH in my mid-20s but we didn't get together until I was 28. It's been over 20 years. We're happy. We love each other, support each other and want the same things out of life. Sometimes he irritates me a lot (and vice versa!) but generally we're a good match.

Hi,
Don't believe in soul mates. Statistically impossible so many would find "the one". Could I be as happy with someone else as my partner. Yes.
But, do think your reasons for wanting a relationship are valid. Think you need to get out there and meet people - you know how to do that.
And let go of notions that there is a "perfect person" or "the one". Instead look for someone who you can be your authentic self with, who adds value to your life, who you are compatible with, who you share values with, who you can support and vice versa. Don't do yourself down. You sound sad - I doubt you're as unattractive as you think.
Also, you don't know other people's relationships. They'll have problems. They might not be happy. Don't compare.
It's kind of irrelevant when people met their partner (meant kindly). People aren't you.
I would build on creating a happy life as a single person. Not with some secret view of being "better" when a man comes, but so you are genuinely happier. That way if you meet someone they'll compliment your life, rather than be it.
X

I met the person I was most in love with who I thought was my soul mate at 28. We split up within a few months when he went to study abroad.

Met DH at 31. We married and had a child (not in that order) by 33. Still happily together 28 years later.

I don’t believe in soul mates or twin flames tbh and I have noticed where such a thing is proclaimed, the relationships are often profoundly abusive.

Not in my case, I can assure you!

What a nasty sweeping generalisation.

Bloody hell!

I'm late 30s and think it's near impossible to meet any new people these days.
Trying to focus on finding new friends.
How did you meet yours ?

@Aquarius1234 , online, his face just popped up on a banner, rather than a meaningful match). Just got v v lucky.

met my wonderful husband at 44 - been together 15 years and are v happy

No because they don't exist.

If you are blissfully happy and have a deep connection with your other half, they are just one of hundreds of thousands of people you would feel the same about. You just happened to meet this one.

I met my dp at 46, i had been married 20 years, he had been married 25 before we met a months after breaking up with our spouses - we just clicked, so much better than my ex. 5 years on it's still amazing, perhaps it can just be right. I'm no looker either, you need to look beyond looks anyway.

We both met via online dating aged 32. Very much soul mates and best mates as well. Having been round the block a few times with other not so great relationships I was very clear on what I wanted and what I was not willing to compromise on. Took about 4 years of running the gauntlet of Internet dating which was emotionally draining at times but glad I perceived and could not be happier.

Words I love your Soulmate! gorgeous eyes!

I think I met him and lost him.

I really am not sure about soulmates, everyone is a different degree of compatibility

I would say that the older you are the more likely you are to know what’s feels right when it comes along. I was well into my 30s but know people who’ve found someone much later, usually after a first marriage foundered

I don’t believe in soul mates just a good match, at the right time. I also wouldn’t have gone out with my DP when we were younger as I was quite different back then and wanted different things. We met online but I met 2 guys on the same day and ended up dating the other one first as he was more forward than DP. That didn’t work out so I messaged DP again 😂

Being single is easier in some ways than a relationship they both have pros and cons

we are compatible in strange ways that you wouldn’t think to look at us and we clash about things you wouldn’t think either! We don’t argue because we do not enrage each other we just talk normally to one another if we disagree. I honestly say I did not for any moment expect us to be as sexually compatible as we have grown to be. And you wouldn’t think this if you met us either 😂

I think that soulmate thing where you feel an instant attraction and pull to each other is just lust it’s not a soulmate

I met mine a year ago - he literally swept me off my feet and makes me go squishy with his smile.
After many disastrous relationships I gave up but at the ripe old age of 44 I met him on OLD. I will spend the rest of my life with him. You'll find what you're looking for OP eventually.

I used to believe me and ex were soulmates...25 year...that illusion was shattered when he cheated. I dont believe in soulmates anymore and am absolutely fine single. Less work lol

No such thing as soul mates but I met my DH at 31, married at 32, now married over 25 years. He's a wonderful man, kind, considerate, decent in every way and I love him.

I'm also very glad I met him before Internet dating was a thing.

Agreed.
Or maybe there is but they live in rural Venezuela or something so we’re destined never to meet…

I like my partner, but fully aware that it’s simply the best match based on a Venn diagram of
a) the people I’ve met
b) that I like
c) that like me
d) that are single and want a relationship
e) that live close enough for it to be practically realistic

It’ll work for as long as it works. Maybe for the rest of our days, maybe it ends tomorrow. If either one of us acts the fool, I’m under no illusions we’d both both have the mindset to gracefully exit stage left and move on to another chapter with someone else without much hesitation or drama.

‘Perfect soulmate’ is all a bit Disney romcom bollocks for me to take seriously, we live in real life we’re not lead characters in a Hollywood film.

I was 18. He was 21.
Been together 34 years so far...