To ask if you have found your soulmate?

[CobaltQueen]

And at what age/where did you meet them ?
I'm starting to see that being single isn't making me happy. I think being in a relationship makes life much easier. More money, instant social life and holidays as well as people accepting you more. There's more opportunities if you are in a couple as well I find. I am 39 now and not the most attractive by a long shot as well as being pretty shy and awkward. Just wondered if any of you had met your partner later in life and did it make your life nicer or easier ?

I met my soulmate at 21 and can’t imagine life without him. But recently I’ve started thinking that my lovely best friends of nearly 30 years are also my soulmates. And my dear departed mum. I think it’s possible to have more than one.

I met my "soulmate" at 24, if you can call him that. Not entirely sure about the concept. I'll be very surprised if we aren't together forever, but who knows what'll happen down the line. Until now, he's certainly made my life nicer and easier.

Met mine online dating at 31 just had our first baby I'm 37 now, he wasn't my 'type' though I don't actually believe in types anymore. It wasn't love at first sight and I didn't fancy him straight away but as I got to know him I fell in love with him he is an amazing person and I can't imagine life without him now

Me and my husband were introduced by our parents a few years back. I believe we could be soul mates

I did, but they aren’t a romantic partner.

I've married mine and I feel so fortunate to have found 'my person'. I'm so glad I didn't settle or make do before him and I'm sad to read stories when it's clear others don't have what we have. I've been through enough tough times to appreciate what I have very much.

People here have given you good advice. I would also strongly advise that the first step you take is quashing this notion of soulmates. It’s self-deceptive and harmful, whether you’re in a relationship or single. I love my DH to pieces – but he is categorically not my soulmate and we were not destined to be together. We chose each other.

Just to add, I was late 30s when we met. If you are looking for someone go into it with an open mind and an open heart, allow yourself to meet interesting people and see what takes your fancy. Shared interests/values/lifestyles are all good common ground to build upon. Dont settle for someone until you feel cherished as it is worth holding out for. Good luck to you in your search.

Men just marry the nearest available and willing woman when they are ready to settle down.

They really haven’t, you know. They’ve met someone they’re in a relationship with.

You say a lot about what you perceive to be the advantages of not being single (more money and ‘opportunities’, social acceptance, ‘instant social life’ and holidays), but you don’t say anything about what you want inside the actual relationship, or what your own experience of relationship has been? Are you saying that any relationship is better than none? Surely not.

And this. I’ve been with DH since we were students, and I love him, but he’s definitely not my ‘soulmate’.

We met at 21/22 and fell into a relationship quickly - been together 23 years and married for 12 of them. Had our ups and downs and always worked through them. Never thought he was my soulmate until we got older and realised he really is!

Like a previous poster, I'm pretty certain that dh and I would not have matched at age 16, or 20, or 27. He would have been 'a boring nerd' (imo); I would have been 'completely beyond comprehansion' (iho).

Met at 33 and were friendly colleagues. Got together at 35 (one night stand and he never left).

He was the most straightforward, responsible, honest, trustworthy person I'd ever met. All great but not exactly stars in your eyes and fireworks. Some might say I'd 'settled' (and perhaps the same could be said about him !)

Thirty years later and we have grown into soulmates. We laugh together constantly, we have grown and changed to adapt towards each other - I now enjoy a good bracing walk in the hills, he has developed a love of fine dining. We lovingly accommodate each others foibles as we grow older.

I think a soulmate can be created and developed.

At 30 I met the kind of person I didn't believed really existed. And I certainly didn't believe existed for somebody like me.

The things you list about life being easier sound practical and pragmatic but not very indicate of love or soul mate status (not that two cannot co exist!). My partner didn't necessarily make my life easier, but they made my understanding and outlook of the world change, and my day to day better.

It's a bit of a question of head Vs heart I often think. If you meet somebody who is good and kind who you're madly in love with, maybe you make exceptions if they aren't as solvent as you hoped or are different to who you imagined you would be with but equally not everybody is happy with that, and treat dating more as a tick box exercise where the man must earn a certain amount, he over a certain height etc and meet stricter criteria. Neither of these approaches are wrong and both types of relationship work, partnerships more often dissolve when the reasons for pairing are misaligned, for example she met all his criteria but she is madly in love, she will feel neglected eventually. Or he loves her and she found he met the standards she had laid out but if those standards changed or he lost his job or, became unwell other attributes she required were no longer being fulfilled she may end up unhappy.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Figure out what is more important to you. The way somebody makes you feel or the needs you have from another person. Don't settle or feel that you needs relationship because everybody else has one so you should, you will end up financially and emotionally chained to this person, so have a good reason for investing yourself in them.

Yes. I think I was 30 when I met him and I'm now 36.

Oh by the way I don't necessarily think there's only one person out there for us, but he's better than I could've even hoped for. I regularly wonder how he manages to love me so much and how we found each other!

To answer your question properly, it completely changed my financial situation and he supports me at a time when I'm not able to earn money, plus I would never have been able to own a house without him. He understands and tolerates me more than anyone I've ever met - I can be quite a challenge because I'm autistic and severely depressed. I also support him with things he struggles with, like taking care of all the housework including cooking every meal. It's challenging to be close to somebody and to live with them, but it also makes me feel safer and I think both our lives are better with each other.

I was 55, met on Tinder, we were together for the rest of his life. I miss him every minute of every day.

i met someone who might e been my soulmate when I was mid-20s. He was like the male version of me. We got in SO well and just laughed all the time. But being so similar meant we had the same hang-ups so the relationship never really worked out.

I'm married to someone completely different but he has made my life calmer, easier, and more settled in a million different ways.

I think you can meet your soulmate, but ... sometimes they don't feel the same way .. and visa versa

Hmm I didn't used to believe in this but as the years go on, I feel DH has become my soul mate.

Mind you, if you asked me this last week I'd have maybe said no as we were bickering a lot 😆

Being single is better than being in a bad relationship so just remember that x

No, because they don’t exist. In reality there are any number of people at any one time who you will be compatible with. There is no “the one” - that’s just Disney bullshit.

DH has never set my pulse racing particularly, except maybe in the very early days. But what I have found is a decent bloke, who I love, with whom I share a similar outlook and values and who I rub along with perfectly well. I’m not perfect, nor is he; we have differing interests and hobbies, but enjoy each other’s company and support one another. He’s also an excellent father to our daughter.

Met mine at 24. I didn't believe in soul mates until we met. Been happily together for 8 years

I was 27 and DP was 35 when we met. That was 21 years ago now.

Three of my friends met the people they would call their ‘soulmate’ in their 40s.

Met when I was 14 and he was 15, was head over heels from day one. Been together 18 years now and he still makes me feel like a silly, giddy 14 year old every day.

Do I believe there are plenty of other people out there I could be compatible with and love and have a very pleasant relationship with? Yup. Do I believe there's anyone else out there who'd fit me as well as this man does? Honestly, no. I feel blessed every day to have met him young so, God willing, I get to spend the majority of my life loving him and being loved by him.

I don't believe in soulmates either.
I met a man I liked at 27 and within 5 years we were engaged and I was expecting a baby.

I probably settled. I didn't think it at the time though. I think plenty of couples could say similar.
If I did meet my 'soulmate' now I couldn't do anything about it 🤣

I know lots of people who started happy relationships in their late 30s, 40s and 50s.
You have plenty of time x