To ask if you have found your soulmate?

[CobaltQueen]

And at what age/where did you meet them ?
I'm starting to see that being single isn't making me happy. I think being in a relationship makes life much easier. More money, instant social life and holidays as well as people accepting you more. There's more opportunities if you are in a couple as well I find. I am 39 now and not the most attractive by a long shot as well as being pretty shy and awkward. Just wondered if any of you had met your partner later in life and did it make your life nicer or easier ?

I was early 30s when I met my DP, timing was abysmal as I was just out of a long, draining relationship and wasn’t really ready for another one. He is the only human in the world who truly knows and accepts me for who I am, and it’s such a wonderful feeling. I don’t believe in destiny or anything like that, but I’m so glad we found each other.

Not even close.

I probably walked past my soulmate on the street without a clue when I was 8, or interested in a relationship, so if I believed in soulmates I'm screwed. Though my soulmate could be living in Africa and never be within a thousand miles.

I totally hear you and get what you’re saying. I’ve been lucky enough to have two ‘one true loves’ - one of whom is the parent of my children, and their primary carer. But there’s always a slight bittersweet nostalgia to what may have been.

I do believe in soulmates.
I was working in my Uni bar, and I was bending down and getting something, stood up and he was there. Apparently before he went out that night he told his friend he felt he was going to meet his future wife soon.
Together 31 years. It’s not always been easy, but he feels like the person I’m meant to be with.

Yes, age 18 married at 22 and still happy 37 years later.

Sorry 38 😧 😆

47....after divorcing my husband.

I met my DH at 31....25 years ago. I'm not sure I believe in Soul mates but I do know there is no one I would rather spend my life with. He is my best friend and if we were stranded on a deserted island we would be more than happy ....as long as there was rum 😂

Soul mates don’t exist. Think of how many millions of people around the globe end up with people who live in the same town as theirs and they’re happily married for years. If soul mates existed it would be the biggest coincidence in the world that the majority of the population found their soul mate just down the road!

I believe that you can be compatable/love/match with many people and it’s just about going through the motions of different relationships until you find someone who matches your values, compliments your personality and offers a healthy relationship.

I believe if you learn to love yourself, know your worth and make your standards clear to others you will get what you give out. A decent person.

I found her at 40! I do believe in soul mates and I’ve never had a connection like it before.

I've realised you can't expect everything from one person, no-one is perfect for anyone. By getting some amazing qualities it can mean sacrificing other criteria. If you find someone who shares your values and a ticks most boxes and have some attraction to then it's worth a go.

I think Tim Minchin said it best!

I don't believe in soulmates! Met DH when we were both 25, been married 16 years.
Maybe setting up unrealistic expectations of finding "the one" or your soulmate might give you a better chance of finding someone?

Yep, I was 17.

I don't believe in soulmates. I believe in loving someone and staying committed to them through the ups and downs. Fortunately my husband thinks the same. We're happy because we work at it. Been together 19 years and love him very much.

I didn't believe in soulmates until I met DH.

I was 28, and he was 34. We met online, wasn't looking for anything longterm as both had just come out of longterm relationships, but we clicked instantly, rarely spent a day apart, got married within a year.😅😬 He is my soulmate and I can't imagine life without him. He's so kind, loving and generous, and reminds me of my Grandad. I'm 31 now, and we're having a baby.

I think there must be a large amount of people that stuck with their partner long term due to reliability and not wanting to go back on the single path again.
As I'm sure many young 22 year olds in long term relationships don't need to stay with that person forever.
They could miss the chance to click with someone else 6 years down the line.

It's almost seems like a full time job for people in their early 20s these days.
In my day you could easily not hear from someone for 3 days and it wouldn't mean too much. Constant 24,/ 7 communication is quite a lot I think.

My DH and I are both firmly in the Tim Minchin camp - we've discussed it. We found each other when we were both looking for roughly the same things and like each other enough that we've weathered the times when we were looking for different things.

There is no such thing as "a soulmate" and that probably means that your expectations are too high, OP.
I met my husband at university.

I was 35 when I met my now husband, he was just separated. We've been together 20 years. Frankly he was fairly vulnerable and I was sick of being single.

This is the biggest question of all isn't it.

Where is the line between - relationships aren't easy and it just shouldn't be this hard.

What if u stay and never meet the person you are meant to be with. What if you go and it was the biggest mistake of your life.

Why do we always tell women their expectations are too high. Every woman I know myself included simply want someone who gets us. Someone we connect with. An equal we don't have to "mother". Someone who doesn't think their minimal " contribution" ( like throwing a few quid at us ) means they can opt out if the things that really matter. Honesty, no games. And we want to want to rip their clothes off. Seems to me a basic list of what we should aim fir in a relationship. We have all been told we expect too much.

How much should women really lower their expectations

yes, at 42, after a lifetime of disastrous relationships. Worth the wait. Good luck!