10% of income is fair ‘rent’

[Itisneverfair]

Ds (23) lives at home and works part time. He has adhd and slight learning disabilities.

We have been charging him 10% of what he earns as ‘rent’ to try and get him used to paying his way etc as he struggles with managing money. He’s saying it’s not fair he pays it but he is angry about it every month.

AIBU to think that it’s an ok amount ?

Why not?
Why can't working adults contribute tho the house hold?
Just because your privileged enough not to have worry about money doesn't mean all parents can support grown adults to live at home rent free .

How much in savings have you got for him either in his Child Trust Fund or an alternative for him to add to for his future? His PIP is his and needs to be put into his account.

No it doesn't

We aren't privileged but as I keep on saying when dc are at college and aren't working we pay for phones social lives etc. Once they earn dc then pay for these things whicn can certainly add up.
You shouldn't then take more for household bills. They have a whole life ahead of them once they move out to pay rent.

If you are feeding him and paying bills and he has his own room £100 a week seems reasonable. Obviously not what he’d pay elsewhere but enough so it doesn’t cost you too much in heating food etc.

I'm in the same situation.
No I can't work more hours (I'm actually assessed as LCW)

When my son told me he wanted to leave college he'd already worked out how much he could pay from his UC, and it will go up when he gets a job.

First of all not all parents are able to have savings for their adult children
Secondly as the Op is her sons appointees, clearly there is a reason for that ,it doesn't have to go into his account it can go into the appointees account
When my son gets PIP in tow years time ( he currently gets the highest rates of DLA) I will be his appointees and I will spend how I see fit ,in my sons case it's because he doesn't even know what money is and has a very basic understanding of the world around him
Obviously it's different in the Op,s case but as an appointee ,she doing nothing wrong having it paid into her account

Well clearly you are privileged if you can't see that not all parents can afford to do what you are doing

Nothing. His CTF was a tiny amount as we never added to it and he wasn’t getting dla as a child so didn’t get the higher rate and it was spent

The "child" is an adult and should be paying his own way.

Appointees get the money paid into their account and use it for the benefit of the recipient. If your child can’t manage money how on earth do you think they could manage a bank account, paying bills, or saving for necessities?

It wasn’t the investment one either just a family one so may be different to what you mean ? It was just released to ds (my parents had set it up not us )

The idea that a family providing a home and support for someone with this level of disability are “grabby” is staggeringly obtuse.

Mine both have ASD and both work full time and after discussing bills etc with them they agreed 25% of their wages. I prompt them 3 days before due date so they don't forget

This. You want him to budget but keep all his PIP and 10% of his income. Nah sorry.

It’s all spent on him it’s not just taken

With the remainder of his wages which he can use as he please he will have 3-4 days of takeaways and sweets then it’s gone so he can’t have all the PIP or it will be misused !

I think you misunderstood my post

Ctf was for children born from the end of 2002 so he probably wasn't eligible

Pip is not meant to be saved. It’s meant to cover the extra costs involved in helping a person with a disability to become more independent. So things like taxi fayres to appointments and similar things OP has mentioned.

My parents set him up a child trust fund (or similar at the time . My dd got the investment government ctf but she got extra paid in due to being on dla as has CP) ds just had the family one and he was given all the money when it matured and spent it all

We are in control of the PIP to protect it for him not to take it and make sure it’s used for the right reasons

Make it really clear.

“You have two options. 1- if you chose to live here then you contribute 10% of your earnings into the costs of running this house you chose to live in. 2- the other option is you find somewhere else to live and you fund it entirely yourself.”

We charged ds1 10% of his take home pay initially, on the understanding he was saving for a mortgage. He’d finished Uni and took a training post. When his younger DB started an MA which we supported him through, we told him to stop paying.

If he upped his work hours we might ask for more but he’s not ready to do that at the moment