To think if I had this diagnosis people wouldn’t be as supportive as they are with her?

[AloofAlot]

Hey. So first off I’m in a bit of a bad mood today but this is how I feel.

im going to make this as short as possible. There’s this girl I know. We used to work together years ago. She’s had a successful life with both having her kids young and also getting to enjoy her 20’s while I’ve had setback after setback in my life. Yes I’m a bit jealous of her and I really wish I wasn’t.

When I worked with her I would hear and see her going on lots of holidays and dates in swanky restaurants flaunting her amazing figure and looks while I could barely get a date with my distant ex and had to work really hard to get slim but never had as good of a body as hers. It was like everywhere she went or wanted to go it seemed like it was an always yes to her. She was able to have it all.

im married now with kids and while I do get time to myself I’ve always been held back in life mainly by overstepping family members and men who had let me down. I’ve had several people let me down and walk out when they’d promised to be there (not saying she hasn’t) I started my family much later than her and I wish it was the other way round so much as now her kids are older and she’s closer in age than them. Her and her daughter go and do girly things together and I’ve rarely had that.

this isn’t a pity party it’s just how I feel. Now she’s been diagnosed with a serious life threatening illness and people are rightfully so flocking round to show their support and she rightfully so deserves that. I feel sad because if I had the same illness I wouldn’t get that support as much. She never had to try in life. I suppose some people are luckier than others and that’s just the way life is. I wish I didn’t feel this way but I do. I’m married with a family now so at least I have achieved something but I wish that happened earlier as it might as well have because I never had a proper youth and have always been prevented in experiencing things I wanted to by family as I have a condition and I still feel so much resent for that.

why do I feel so much jealousy? It really isn’t normal and I wish I didn’t feel like that

Your jealous is sickening.

Why are you envious of a sick woman? Is your life really that shit?

Has her success and happiness impeded you in some way?

Also because she had her kids younger she got to get the hard parts over her and still be fairly young when they’re at a more independent age and be so close to them because they’re closer in age and therefore they can relate to each other better if that makes sense

You could always attempt to get a life limiting illness yourself. Honestly...
She sounds super lucky being seriously ill.

You're jealous of someone with a serious illness?

Think about what you're feeling. Why do you feel like this?
Do you want the attention?

Yes I agree it is sickening. No her success has never affected my life in anyway I just wish I had that success too. I’m happy that she’s had that success I really am but I also feel sad for myself at how I’ve been so held back in life

You need to seek therapy....seriously. I don't want to be horrible to you because if I'm being honest, I'm appalled by your post. You really need to seek therapy.

You don’t sound a very nice person. Why don’t you get on with living your life instead of feeling so resentful about someone you knew years ago.

How nuts do you need to be to be jealous of someone having a life threatening condition? Really??

I think you are at least honest enough to post it on here but this is insane jealousy. Try and get some help, counselling maybe?

Given the choice, would you swap your life with hers?

In a kind way, you really need some support with your mental health.

There are loads of things I could be unhappy about in life but I have a choice either accept the past and move forward and enjoy my life or be miserable. It isn’t as simple as just move on but one step is a simple as focus on your positive and your life not your image of someone else’s.

I’m not jealous of her for having that condition and I wish for her to be better. I’m jealous of the fact that from where I’m looking at she’s never had to really try and go through what I’ve been through

Every single one of your posts has a 'poor me' attitude with you constantly claiming 'you've been held back' in life by other people.

Kindly, I would suggest that it is your own massive negativity and victim mentality that has held you back. Nothing appears to be your fault at all, and every choice you've made you are complaining about and blaming other people for.

Ooof. You are weighing yourself down with unnecessary baggage.

Whilst you are cherry picking one person to compare yourself to, there are hundreds and thousands of people who are far worse off than you. Some will be sleeping rough tonight.

Honestly, you need to talk this through as it's irrational.

I feel doe you OP. You're life is so sad that you're jealous of someone with a life limiting condition. Maybe you should think why people would "flock" to support her?
Bitterness and envy radiates. I hope your "friend" recovers and continues to enjoy her life.

Oh behave, you sound frighteningly obsessed with her. And your first thought when she's dying and leaving behind a family is 'waaahhh poor me'?!

What a fucking weird thread.

@AloofAlot go on then OP, what have you been through? Maybe a dose of reality from other people will help your perspective?

Sorry to say it OP, but you are one bitter and twisted specimen.

What about the millions of people out there whose lives have been much worse?

How the fuck do you know what she's been through?! Again you are scary.

You actually barely know anything about her life or what she’s had going on over the years.

I like your last paragraph. You have recognised something in yourself that shouldn't be there. Well done, because that is the first step.

I think it's normal to be a little envious of others. What isn't normal is to let that envy possess your life to the point of losing objectivity - which is what it sounds like from what you describe.

What I would do, if I were you, would be to rid myself of ALL social media that brings news about this person.

Then, I would also count my blessings and realise that with good health, you really are the one that is WINNING (if there was a competition). Then start practising writing up a gratitude journal (I know, so very American) every day, and hopefully, with time, you will start to realise that you both are just living your lives.

Some people ate luckier in life than others. But that's not to say, the less lucky don't have anything to shout about. You certainly do.