Turning up to venue uninvited…Why?

[SweetSouberry]

My friend made quite a controversial choice in hosting an event this morning/ lunchtime.

Traditionally the event would be more family orientated with kids running around and hosted in a more ‘domestic’ setting.

She hosted in quite a posh hotel and only invited blood relatives and friends. My husband and sons weren’t invited but I went as the event would hold no interest for them.

Her parents and one of her brothers initially refused to go as in-laws and nephews nieces weren’t invited. However, mother and brother did come in the end!

But a whole slew of the uninvited turned up anyway. Two sisters-in-law , one with her own sister came to the venue and had lunch in the same restaurant with their kids who kept coming over to our table.

A cousin’s partner walked around grounds with her own child while partner and older step-child were at event.

Mother-in-law’s sister sat in the hotel’s lounge and the spouse of another friend set up his computer in the conservatory type thing.

I was just cringing, why would they humiliate themselves like this?

I would not have done what friend did but even if I wasn’t invited somewhere and I was upset I wouldn’t dream of still coming to venue.

Why do you think that they did it?

Call me thick I've had a few rums are you saying uninvited Inlaws turned up and made it awkward?

I don't know why you would try to exclude family members from a venue open to the public. Or not invite children to a Christening! Why not include everyone (space permitting)?

It was a public place that anyone could access ... Not an exclusive private party! Anyone is free to go there and use the venue. If your friend really wanted some high class privacy they should've booked an exclusive venue or function room x

But if it was a christening, those are usually held in a church and anyone may attend. Your friend sounds a bit - odd.

It was quite rude of the hosts not to invite friends without their spouses/children, siblings without their spouses/partners, etc to a family type event at the weekend. I’m surprised anyone went at all. Did she just want the gifts and not the number of attendees ??

BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T INVITED!! That’s why.

I don’t know why she divided the family up like that, most people just invite everyone.

Are your sure you're the friend OP and not the hostess of the event? I can't see why this offends you so much?

"Only people that mattered to her" but not the people who mattered to the people who mattered to her!

@CelesteCunningham but she could have stayed at home or gone out with her own sister somewhere else.

Had everyone been invited to the church then were waiting for family members attending the meal?

Good on them, to be honest

If she was so keen to exclude her child's close family from her child's christening, she shouldn't have held it in a public space.

She made it awkward. Sounds like they gave her a taste of her own medicine.

There's a small chance that they thought if they turned up and paid for their own meals and didn't put her to the hassle of "arranging" anything, she might invite them to join in with the family child's special day.

Did she actually just pretend they didn't exist they were there?

Her actions in cutting off family from a family occasion have been very rude. And now she's learned that rudeness has consequences.

There’s a big back story here.

She went about it all the wrong way. If she wanted a small, intimate gathering it should have been grand parents, witnesses and spouse and their kids. That's the way one of my relatives did it and there was no falling out.

Yes, there were local church goers at the last Christening I attended.

If your friend couldn’t have afforded to invite her siblings partners/spouses, then she should have invited grandparents and godparents/their families only.

Power of playing God at a Christening 😆
She’s not much of a Christian, is she….

Or simply went home after the Christening service.

She clearly did it to make a point, so no they couldn't. Do you not see the point we're all making, that excluding such close family from a family occasion is really rude, terrible for longer term family relations and completely at odds with a christening?

The family were cheeky as to show up, but they were obviously making a show of unity and putting "your friend" in her place. I admire their balls!

Another poster who refuses to see anyone else’s point of view!

Not sure why she made a christening an exclusive event and excluded half her family and people's spouses and kids?!! Weird - christenings are usually child friendly events seeing as they are about celebrating a child!

It's her choice of course to only invite blood relatives and friends but fucking hell lol she sounds like a bloody drama queen and although I do think it is usually quite rude to turn up to somewhere uninvited I'm feeling quite satisfied inside that all of the uninvited turned up hahaha hope she got the photos she wanted for her Instagram because let's be honest this is what was on her mind when excluding so many people who wouldn't fit into her aesthetic. All about her when in fact it's about the child and who is important to the child. I love it when some people get what they deserve

I've also attended a standard morning service, at the end of which, a christening was held.

I assumed @SweetSouberry was talking about the dreaded baby shower. But still, an event which is usually a way of introducing a new child to the family (and the congregation) and welcoming her to the world, to become this exclusionary weird thing ...

Not quite in the spirit is it?

Church Christenings are public, but this sounds more like the party afterwards.

It's entirely batshit to just show up to a meal/party in a hotel that you aren't invited to.

I had a small christening, I invited some of our best friends and DH’s family (mine live abroad). I had to keep it small because of economy, I could only afford to feed a certain number of people near my church, which only had a few very expensive venues and the one I could afford had a headcount of 30 max. That completely dictated the invitees to the christening.

Your friend is entitled to have a small christening and it sounds like the people that ‘gatecrashed’ have zero class. You can disagree but you certainly don’t turn up uninvited whether a ‘public’ venue or not. It really just shows that your friend was right not to invite them, they are toxic drama queens.

I feel for your friend, my daughter’s christening by my b*%#h of a MIL who made a vicious comment about my appearance as she walked into the church.

She doesn't sound rude or like a drama queen as posters above have stated. It is her event and she gets to decide who is invited. The family members who showed up without an invite were rude, they put themselves above the child being celebrated. It's clear why they weren't invited in the first place.