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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this dress a bit “much” for a wedding?

301 replies

Northerngirl345 · 14/07/2024 14:57

Dress code for the wedding is cocktail/black tie. I think it suits me (size 10/decent boobs). SIL thinks it’s great. MIL asked if I would be comfortable. DP said it’s very “different”.

YABU - it’s not appropriate
YANBU - wear it

Is this dress a bit “much” for a wedding?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
TheSquareMile · 14/07/2024 22:47

I'm not sure about wearing a long dress to a registry office wedding, to be honest. Midi, yes, but not full length.

When I've passed registry office weddings in London, where I live, I don't think that I've seen full-length evening wear being worn.

Especially if you are then travelling to a restaurant and then to a club, I would wonder whether ballerina length or midi is the way to go for you.

Original poster
Northerngirl345 · 14/07/2024 23:40

TheSquareMile · 14/07/2024 23:35

Love it but it’s too formal/grown up for me!

OP posts:
Moonshine5 · 15/07/2024 00:00

The original dress at the beginning of the post is not very stylish .... Maybe even slightly tacky. Obviously we all have different tastes.

HungryLittleCrocodile · 15/07/2024 00:15

Northerngirl345 · 14/07/2024 23:40

Love it but it’s too formal/grown up for me!

Show quote history

What do you mean that red 'silk and wool dress coat' is 'too grown up for you?' You said you're in your 40s. Confused The woman modelling it is younger than you. Of course it's not too grown up for you! Hmm And it would look a lot better than that awful tacky black dress in your OP.

123letsblaze · 15/07/2024 00:19

You do look great in it but I think it's too much for a wedding

Tomanyflaws · 15/07/2024 00:33

Stunning dress i love e it 😍 especially on you look fab but not for a wedding its screaming look at me maybe use this dress for another event..

JokoKitten · 15/07/2024 00:46

I can't believe you are not going to wear it. It's stunning and it really suits you and it's just right for the wedding you are describing. I don't think it's too showy at all. I think it's amazing.

MrsBrightsidde · 15/07/2024 01:23

I can’t believe some of the suggestions on this thread! They are aging and boring. The dress you wanted to wear is OTT, but there’s a balance between OTT and boring.

As you want to emphasise your boobs, how about something like this:

www.debenhams.com/product/coast-plunge-neck-twill-midi-dress-with-lace-trims_bcc08833?colour=navy

Original poster
Northerngirl345 · 15/07/2024 06:03

HungryLittleCrocodile · 15/07/2024 00:15

What do you mean that red 'silk and wool dress coat' is 'too grown up for you?' You said you're in your 40s. Confused The woman modelling it is younger than you. Of course it's not too grown up for you! Hmm And it would look a lot better than that awful tacky black dress in your OP.

Show quote history

Whoa there! No need to be rude!

I had my tongue firmly in my cheek. I meant too formal.

OP posts:
choccychocchoc · 15/07/2024 06:19

I love the black dress and I think it fits perfect given the description of the wedding!

Original poster
Northerngirl345 · 15/07/2024 06:25

MrsBrightsidde · 15/07/2024 01:23

I can’t believe some of the suggestions on this thread! They are aging and boring. The dress you wanted to wear is OTT, but there’s a balance between OTT and boring.

As you want to emphasise your boobs, how about something like this:

www.debenhams.com/product/coast-plunge-neck-twill-midi-dress-with-lace-trims_bcc08833?colour=navy

Thanks! I ordered this one.

OP posts:
celadora · 15/07/2024 06:57

Northerngirl345 · 14/07/2024 21:18

Only mentioned the decent boobs because, like all of us, we all have things we like/don’t like.

I like my boobs/collar bones/arms. I don’t like my wobbly tummy, my hips or my feet.

OP, you have great boobs and a fab figure!

I’m the same age as you and not as perky. My sister wears a bra to sleep in and hers are perky too. I almost wish I’d done that for the last 20 years!

Do you sleep in a bra?

Southoftheriver32 · 15/07/2024 07:18

It’s absolutely gorgeous.

Calphurnia6 · 15/07/2024 08:41

VenusClapTrap · 15/07/2024 07:43

Yes! If OP is searching for something more 'statement' (which the original dress was) then Self-Portrait has great options within budget.

Arrivederla · 15/07/2024 09:23

NewNewForest · 14/07/2024 16:04

Totes perfect if you’re planning to go all main character energy and shout during the bit when the vicar asks if anyone knows any just cause or impediment 👌

Edited

This!!!

Biglovemarg · 15/07/2024 10:19

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/article/2024/jul/12/dressing-for-a-wedding-the-rules-have-changed - I thought this was a really good article on wedding dressing. It's more to do with the bride and groom and sort of guests who will be attending. So I suppose if it was your super religious aunt with a more sombre tone then no, but if it was your super glam best mate with a lots of people who will dress in the same sort of way, then yes go for it. I love it personally and wouldn't bat an eyelid if I saw someone wear this at a wedding.

Dressing for a wedding? Read the vibe – the rules have changed | Jess Cartner-Morely on fashion

Wearing a hat, avoiding white and dialling down the sexiness are no longer mandatory. Instead take inspiration from the bridal couple’s style cues

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/article/2024/jul/12/dressing-for-a-wedding-the-rules-have-changed

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/07/2024 10:28

HungryLittleCrocodile · 15/07/2024 00:15

What do you mean that red 'silk and wool dress coat' is 'too grown up for you?' You said you're in your 40s. Confused The woman modelling it is younger than you. Of course it's not too grown up for you! Hmm And it would look a lot better than that awful tacky black dress in your OP.

Show quote history

It doesn’t look good even on the model, regardless of her age. It’s the sort of thing I’d expect to see on somebody speaking at a work conference who was usually fairly casual and didn’t really know what their style was when it came to smart work clothes. I’m always baffled by the frumpy outfits that consistently get suggested in threads like this: somebody who would choose the sort of quirky, eye catching dress the OP originally posted doesn’t want to dress like most of the suggestions.

TheSquareMile · 15/07/2024 10:53

@Northerngirl345

The one thing which would worry me about the sleeveless dresses is that the wedding is taking place at a registry office in London in the autumn.

Would you be better off with a dress with sleeves, so that you aren't cold when the photographs are being taken outside after the ceremony?

Newposter180 · 15/07/2024 11:32

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/07/2024 10:28

It doesn’t look good even on the model, regardless of her age. It’s the sort of thing I’d expect to see on somebody speaking at a work conference who was usually fairly casual and didn’t really know what their style was when it came to smart work clothes. I’m always baffled by the frumpy outfits that consistently get suggested in threads like this: somebody who would choose the sort of quirky, eye catching dress the OP originally posted doesn’t want to dress like most of the suggestions.

Edited
Show quote history

Totally agree - that suggested dress looks more like something a grandmother/older MOB would wear to a wedding to me. I think it would look very out of place on someone in their 40s with a great figure. Based on OP’s choice, clearly not going to be her style!
Self Portrait is a great suggestion IMO, also maybe Sandro type brands. I’d look at The Outnet and Net A Porter filtered by price on that budget!

MrsBrightsidde · 15/07/2024 11:38

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/07/2024 10:28

It doesn’t look good even on the model, regardless of her age. It’s the sort of thing I’d expect to see on somebody speaking at a work conference who was usually fairly casual and didn’t really know what their style was when it came to smart work clothes. I’m always baffled by the frumpy outfits that consistently get suggested in threads like this: somebody who would choose the sort of quirky, eye catching dress the OP originally posted doesn’t want to dress like most of the suggestions.

Edited
Show quote history

This. How someone can go from what OP suggested to what that poster suggested is beyond me. And then go character assassinate OP because she very politely said it’s not for her. Bonkers!

Original poster
Northerngirl345 · 15/07/2024 11:38

celadora · 15/07/2024 06:57

OP, you have great boobs and a fab figure!

I’m the same age as you and not as perky. My sister wears a bra to sleep in and hers are perky too. I almost wish I’d done that for the last 20 years!

Do you sleep in a bra?

Show quote history

No, I didn’t - I think I’m lucky that I had tiny boobs until my 30s so they’ve not had long to droop….though I fear I’m on borrowed time!

OP posts:
DBD1975 · 15/07/2024 12:01

I think the Coast dress is beautiful and a great compromise, I hope it works for you, please post a photo of you in it.