To be in tears after dentist visit?

[PandaWorld]

I have 2 chronic diseases, one impacts a lot on my joints. During lockdown I was in a lot of pain and had trouble brushing. The plaque build up was quite awful but I plucked up to go and I saw the hygienist as a follow up. It was pretty awful and I gagged a bit during it.
So that was a year ago and today I went back for an annual check up. Dentist knows about my conditions, asked me why I didn't floss (It's too painful and I have said this before) why have I not booked in sooner? Because I wasn't told to do so and 'The tartar build up has got really bad again on one side, you're not brushing properly and seeing us just once a year is not good enough. You need to be seeing us a lot more regularly.'
He made me feel dirty and like a naughty school girl. Also, I have been trying so hard with my teeth, spend at least 5 minutes morning and night on them so I don't understand why this is happening. What's more I had a good look in the mirror and yes there is some build up but certainly not awful or really bad as he says. I have to go back in a few weeks and really don't want to.

That’s often how they are. Every time I see the hygienist, it’s a different one and they talk about the build up of plaque and brushing and what sort of toothbrush and different interdental brushes and mouthwash etc. The next time, another one says something different. I have spent money I don’t have on buying these different things. I have done exactly as they suggest, using all these different things and they still say it’s not enough.

Just go with it, knowing that you’re doing what you can.

I've never been spoken to by a dentist like that in my life - and I usually visit one very 10/15 years! I would be looking for a new dentist.

It is literally the dentist’s job to tell you what you need to do to look after your teeth. What do you want them to do? Pretend your teeth are in great condition and tell you you’re doing everything right when that isn’t actually true?

Your dentist is trying to save you from tooth decay and a lot of painful and expensive dental work in the future. Plaque build-up is extremely bad for your teeth, so they have to make that clear to you. If your health conditions mean you struggle with brushing adequately and can’t floss (not sure why flossing in particular is an issue for you?) then yes, you do need to see the dentist and/or hygienist more often than once a year.

Your dentist has your best interests at heart here. They don’t want you to lose teeth. Lying to you won’t help you.

I brush and floss every day and I still got a bolllocking from the hygienist - and I went every 6 months. After one particularly nasty telling off, I decided that as I was paying for this punishment, I would take my teeth elsewhere. I found another dentist and the team could not be nicer.

Find another dentist. Ask your friends and family for recommendations. Good luck. No one should be spoken to like this. It’s just bloody teeth!

I just don't appreciate being spoken to like a naughty school girl and also it isn't as easy for me as it is for others due to my condition. I'm a grown woman of 39 and don't want to be 'told off.'
I just think he could have been kinder about it. No need to speak down to me and use words like awful and saying it's my fault for not coming in sooner when I was only there a year ago.

Isn’t it supposed to be every 6 months, not an annual check?

Anyway I guess they are making the point that if you can’t brush properly, can’t floss etc then you really need to be doing a much more regular hygienist appointment.

If you can’t floss due to your joints would interdental brushes be easier?

That’s really not nice at all, especially if they know about your physical limitations.
Id definitely be looking for another dentist, although appreciate if it’s NHS you’ll be unlikely to find one!

Not the point of the post but have you got an electric toothbrush OP? If not then do invest in one, doesn’t have to be super duper top of the range, even a mid point one will be good.

Saying the plaque is awful is just a factual statement though. You say you don’t want to be spoken to like a naughty school girl but then you expect things to be sugar coated.

Can you use an electric toothbrush? You might find that helps reduce the plaque? You can also get water flossers that might be less painful to use.

Get an electric toothbrush and water flosser. Also book in for a scale and polish twice a year. I get you felt embarrassed but he was doing his job and to be honest, he’s not wrong is he?

Find another dentist, he sounds like he has a crap manner.

Don't overthink it. Go to the hygienist every six months. Tell anyone new at the start of your appointment that you have a physical condition that means doing oral routines causes physical pain and you do expect that to be understood in all conversations about your teeth.

They can be arses.

Also whilst flossing etc. helps and should be done, some people do everything right and still have issues. Some of it is genetic and ageing plays a part.

I know how you feel my dentist is exactly the same. Said he wouldn't treat me unless my plaque (which isn't dreadful) improved. I didn't go back. Had to go private but much happier.

But you’ve reacted like a school girl. If he hadn’t told you straight and you’d then had to fork out for various treatments down the line I’d be fairly willing to bet you’d be on here complaining about the lack of care from the dentist.

I've never flossed in my life or done any bleaching etc..
I'm 42 had 1 filling & have a crown but only have the crown because of an abusive ex; knocked half my tooth out.

Had the same dentist for years & he's never suggested flossing/hygienist/plaque build up/tar build up yet I'm a smoker; I'm sure most dentist are out for £££ rather than what's best for the customer.

Brush twice daily, nothing else and keep your teeth. All I will say is after brushing don't eat or drink for at least 30 mins.

Change your dentist.
I have literally no room between teeth to floss. TBH ,not sure dentist was on board initially but spike to them & having tried themselves to demonstrate best technique they have since been really helpful with advice re interdental brushes/flossing where space allows but just do mouthwashes where it can't be done. NHS appt are now annual but did say I should continue 6 months & happy to pay privately for every 2nd appointment if that's what it takes.

Yeah I find dentists to be abit like that also, I have found a lovely lady one now so will be sticking with her for the foreseeable, yes I have 2 x dentist check ups a year and 2x hygienist visits a year, appointments one after the other.

According to my last dental ptactice, if you're 'lucky' enough to be an NHS patient then a very cursory glance (aka Check-up) is only required every 18 months.

And various other piffle whilst our teeth rot away. That's what we get when the largest provider of NHS Dental Services is owned and managed by an Investment Group; rather more concerned with shareholder dividends than the dental care of the poor I suggest.

Before anyone asks me to name and shame - step forward the mydentist group and your Paloman Plc owners.

How have I acted like a school girl ? I didnt cry or stamp my feet and yell at the dentist. I just feel he could have been more professional about it, especially as he knows about my health conditions. My teeth certainly are not really bad as he claims they are and as I said, he didn't tell me to come in sooner so berating me on that isn't fair.
I don't need anything 'sugarcoated' but if he had said something like 'There is still some build up on one side so might be a good idea for you to come in every 3 months, in the meantime, you can try 'X, Y, Z'. There was no need for his manner.
My illness take up a lot of my headspace and didn't need him on at me as well.

Think I will look for another dentist as I know people who go to really lovely ones who don't speak down to them.

i changed dentists when one hygienist spoke to me in a horrible, patronising way and insisted I needed all these extra treatments. I hadn’t booked for them but I was tired and confused that she was suddenly saying all these things needed doing. I just wanted her to do what I was booked in for but she kept saying things that I’m pretty sure weren’t correct and pushed on doing these treatments, speaking to me like I was a 6yr old. It was horrible.

The next day, I phoned the dentist, said I was very unhappy about how I was treated and spoken to, and they refunded all my money and I went elsewhere where the staff were much nicer and spoke to me normally. I suspect the first dentist/hygienist simply wanted to make some money out of me.

What is the point of your post when OP literally says at times she struggles to brush, which is obviously the cause of the excessive plaque build up. “Brush twice a day” is hardly helpful advice for her.

I have some issues around this as well - my condition makes the angling of flossing hard so I only do my very front ones. I do brush with an electric tooth brush but my meds cause dry mouth and I have cycles of vomiting due to pain (and not always well enough to brush immediately after). Also on extremely bad pain days, I only brush once not twice that day. Also have two parents with awful teeth but great hygiene so clearly genetic involved (which is actually a known thing with my joint condition).

I do get told off and told to come more often. Almost 30 and had 4 fillings and both my upper wisdom teeth removed. Tbh I just shake it off. They can say what they like (as can other people) but they don’t know what it’s like to live my life - I’m in 24/7 pain so tbh teeth aren’t the biggest concern for me in daily life! I know I’m doing what I can! It’s so hard to be kind to yourself I know but do try xx

That powdered smokers toothpaste is worth using occasionally. Electric toothbrush is the business too.

I hate flossing, actually find it painful and it sets my teeth on edge for hours. So I don’t do it but I tell the dentist I do and we agree what a difference it makes 🤷‍♀️

I never had this issue before I was on medication and as a previous poster said, one of my meds do cause a dry mouth. I brush for 5 minutes morning and night and still get some build up. It's highly frustrating.
As for the person asking me why flossing might be an issue, you obviously don't have experience of RA.....

Hi op. Sorry they made you feel bad. My mums the same. She started seeing hygienist two monthly instead for a clean. She also uses a water pick instead of flossing.