To be in tears after dentist visit?

[PandaWorld]

I have 2 chronic diseases, one impacts a lot on my joints. During lockdown I was in a lot of pain and had trouble brushing. The plaque build up was quite awful but I plucked up to go and I saw the hygienist as a follow up. It was pretty awful and I gagged a bit during it.
So that was a year ago and today I went back for an annual check up. Dentist knows about my conditions, asked me why I didn't floss (It's too painful and I have said this before) why have I not booked in sooner? Because I wasn't told to do so and 'The tartar build up has got really bad again on one side, you're not brushing properly and seeing us just once a year is not good enough. You need to be seeing us a lot more regularly.'
He made me feel dirty and like a naughty school girl. Also, I have been trying so hard with my teeth, spend at least 5 minutes morning and night on them so I don't understand why this is happening. What's more I had a good look in the mirror and yes there is some build up but certainly not awful or really bad as he says. I have to go back in a few weeks and really don't want to.

There are studies saying annual is fine.

I've recently started sucking xylitol mints to help with my dry mouth - my teeth 'ache' .. and it is caused by medical issues.

the plaque build up is down to lack of saliva - and it is painful having it removed you have my sympathy x

A water flosser will be your friend, so easy to use. I fill mine with 50/50 cheap mouthwash (45p from Tesco) and water.

I've started using silicone interdental brushes, as I couldn't floss, thanks to stupid PsA hands, and the standard interdentals would just get embedded in my gums because there was no space. They're far easier to use, as you can trace along your tooth to the space.

Do you have an nhs dentist? Because if so you will struggle to find a new one.
im nhs ….I struggle with flossing due to neuropathy….I find it easier to use the interdental brushes…..my dentist also advised having a 6 monthly deep clean with hygienist ….which is quite traumatic ( for me!) but stops a big build up of tartar

But not if you need more regular hygienist input

Some people’s alive has more minerals than others so plaque builds more and faster. As a rule of thumb I was told (and have) gone for a teeth cleaning every 6 months; during periods of more build up every 3 months. You need to go more often than once a year.

God they love a drama the old hygienists don't they 😂

every one I've ever seen is like a strict headmistress or headmaster!

and just like when I was at school I grit my teeth, do as I'm told and get through it 😂 and then pay £80 for the privilege! I see it as a necessary evil and my teeth feel great after - in fact I feel reborn!

Right, you need solutions:
Electric toothbrush
Waterproof floss
Hygienist every 6 months, not 12

I don't think you're meant to brush for 5 minutes, 2-3 mins only.

Maybe look for a different dentist as he doesn't sound very nice. Manner is important too.

Over brushing is really bad for gums
Using mouthwash after brushing teeth is wrong as it takes the toothpaste away
Oil pulling is meant to be beneficial ( some love some hate )
My previous dentist really didn't like mouthwash full stop.

I'm a HPC and a lot of my F2F contact is advice .
OK , I can see when someone has tried , I know some people can do basically nought .
If someone has difficulties there's things I can suggest

If someone ignores advice over and over that does grind my gears. They;re treated , think Oh everything is nice then do nothing but complain when the problem re-occurs because they have done nothing to prevent it.

There's no need for rudeness on a professionals part but if they're seeing 20/30 patients a day , you get the Head/Desk moment

Get yourself a water flosser and some interdental brushes. Use the water flosser before you clean your teeth each time to dislodge any food residue. Clean for two minutes with an electric toothbrush morning before you eat and at bedtime. Use interdental brushes after cleaning a couple of times a week. My dentist says I have ‘exemplary dental hygiene’.

I also hate flossing and don't do it. The last time I saw the hygienist she seemed to be of the opinion that I do it regularly. I just smiled and nodded.

Yes sadly some dentists/hygienists seem to enjoy telling people off. It really doesn't help, does it! Sorry it was upsetting for you OP.

Some folks do need to see a hygienist more than once per year. My DP goes every 3 months. His teeth are perfect but not his gums! He needs proper deep cleaning on a regular basis, otherwise his gums get very inflamed and he has lost a couple of teeth as a result.

I had not heard of a 'water flosser' mentioned above and think I will investigate that, might help dislodge food particles from tight spaces!

Edit: Haha I just looked up water flossers on Amazon, wow they are really huge! 'Oral irrigators' LOL. Not sure I could hold one of those, but interesting concept.

How is overbrushing bad for gums Shybutrude?

Brushing regularly is considered vital for healthy teeth and gums, but dental experts warn that you can overdo it. Known as “toothbrush abrasion,” overbrushing can lead to sensitive teeth and receding gums.
Vigorous brushing can wear down the enamel on your teeth and damage your gums, exposing the sensitive root area. Receding gums can also lead to other dental problems, such as periodontal disease and cavities

You're upset with him for doing his job by telling you. But also passing the buck by saying- he didn't tell me to come in sooner.

It's every 6 months, that's the recommendation. And you've explained you find it hard to floss and brush, therefore I would see a dentist more frequently to avoid poor oral health as you get older.

It's not that deep, it isn't personal. It's just a dentist doing his job.

I think you’re not supposed to eat or drink for 30 minutes before brushing, because it weakens the surface of the teeth and then the brushing can do some damage.

I've found there is a terrible amount of up selling in dentistry.

I had one who literally didn't stop pushing an electric toothbrush from a company, it was like I was starring in an advert. And not a 30 second advert, it was like one of those ones on early morning TV that go on for thirty minutes and are so OTT.

Of course I couldn't ask her to stop as she had her bloody fingers in my mouth.

Perhaps you do need more regular appointments if you have issues due to pain with brushing and things but honestly I would go in there and just think "up selling" and take no notice.

I had one dentist be rude to me about my DS and said he was dirty. Some of it was language barrier from her, and her nurse did say dirty was the wrong word, but I was cross so reminded her that he has issues with his enamel which is nothing to do with his dental routine but because he was born very early. I got an apology.

Find another one - some have a really crap bedside manner.

Apparently they are far more effective than flossing.

I didn’t used to use either. It got the point where my dentist sent me to the hygienist for the first time because the gums were getting bad.

The hygienist made detailed notes about my gums and explained which size of interdental brush I needed to buy. She told me to come back a month later.

So I used the brushes every day and went back a month later. This time it was a different hygienist. She looked at my notes on the computer, examined my teeth, walked to the computer to look at the notes again and looked at me doubtfully. “Are you [name], [date of birth]?”. I said I was, and she explained that my gums were so different now from the description in the notes that she thought she was looking at someone else’s notes!

It sounds as if the OP’s dentist was stating facts, but being very rude. My dentist and hygienist were polite and factual - they didn’t tell me off but simply explained the consequences if I didn’t improve the condition of the gums. I always use interdental brushes now.

l hope the OP manages to find a politer dentist, or at least is able to get past the rudeness and can find a way of taking care of her teeth that she can cope with. I find the interdental brushes very easy to use. If not, it sounds as if an electric toothbrush would be better than a manual one.

They are all like this , it's literally their job to tell you where you are going wrong . It's not personal . Don't go if you don't like it but you will no doubt lose your teeth

I hate it but I go regularly because I want to keep my teeth

Honestly, my hygienist is like this and it really pisses me off. I'm in my 40s and have zero fillings or bleeding gums, yet every time she huffs and puffs and says things like "that was really challenging, don't leave it so long next time" and then does the patronising "here's how you brush and floss your teeth properly" lecture. Yeah, I know. And if I didn't, I reckon I'd have figured it out after your 6-monthly demonstrations. I have a metal retaining wire behind my teeth, so I guess that might make her job trickier - but cleaning teeth is literally her whole job! She acts like I'm massively inconveniencing her. This is private btw, so I'm paying £90 for her to sigh and tut at me for 30 minutes.

Strangely, my husband's teeth are way worse - he never flosses and only brushes them in the morning 🤢 and has had lots of fillings and root canal work. She never lectures him! Maybe because he's a lost cause 🤔

If "they are all like this" - well, that isn't bloody good enough is it? People don't want to pay to be told off and loads of people just don't go at all because a dentist has caused them pain, fear or embarrassment. In my experience there are a lot of kinder dentists these days, you just have to find a good one.

@MrHarleyQuin it's perspective though isn't it . They aren't actually telling you off but they are delivering news you don't want to hear .
My hygienist is lovely but the info she is giving me and the overall experience isn't enjoyable .