To be in tears after dentist visit?

[PandaWorld]

I have 2 chronic diseases, one impacts a lot on my joints. During lockdown I was in a lot of pain and had trouble brushing. The plaque build up was quite awful but I plucked up to go and I saw the hygienist as a follow up. It was pretty awful and I gagged a bit during it.
So that was a year ago and today I went back for an annual check up. Dentist knows about my conditions, asked me why I didn't floss (It's too painful and I have said this before) why have I not booked in sooner? Because I wasn't told to do so and 'The tartar build up has got really bad again on one side, you're not brushing properly and seeing us just once a year is not good enough. You need to be seeing us a lot more regularly.'
He made me feel dirty and like a naughty school girl. Also, I have been trying so hard with my teeth, spend at least 5 minutes morning and night on them so I don't understand why this is happening. What's more I had a good look in the mirror and yes there is some build up but certainly not awful or really bad as he says. I have to go back in a few weeks and really don't want to.

He might believe in tough love.

I find dentists so rude, and had some really arrogant ones.

I recently had emergency dentists visits and found a lovely one and also a lovely specialist, it’s costing me thousands but I’m feeling my first positive dental experience in years. My last dentist was a prick.

I suffer chronic pain and my teeth were bad, hurt when brushing, trying to floss. I would brush and try to floss after taking pain meds, I also use anbasol on my gums before hand and dip the spiky end of the floss stick in the anbasol before gently working it between my teeth. I’m slowly getting on top of it, but I can’t get lazy or it gets bad quickly. I use a soft brush and I’m as genital as possible.

Just after lockdown I was living in another city and found a dental hygienist who was very genital, she was prepared to numb my gums if I was struggling with the pain, but she didn’t need to.

maybe book yourself in every 3 months until your on top of things.

This made me laugh!

@PandaWorld i'm sorry you went through this today. and what the dentist has said can't be unsaid or resaid in a different way.
but from this you can still learn and grow from this unfortunate experience.
plaque can be food choices, often times carbs. so a quick google search.
if your mouth is prone to be dry, unless contraindicated by your doctor drink more water 2 liters a day (water not tea coffee or juice).
brushing use to be recommended more often; after each meal and before bed, so try doing that.
not everyone can floss, i'm one my teeth are tight against one another and it's only accomplished by the hygienist from her angle i use a water pik tool in the shower and i use alcohol free mouth wash (although salt water works equally well).
if you take meds for your joints can you time brushing your teeth to the times of the day when the med is most effective and you are in the least amount of pain?

in the end dental health is better for your overall health including cardiac health, it's 100% worth your time to give a few more things a try.

I didn’t have issues before my meds either and as they work so well for the pain, I’m not going to come off them even if they have caused my teeth issues!

My original dentist (who was lovely but retired and not found one as good since) told me that chewing with sugar free gum after meals does help a bit with this so I do try and do that on bad pain days. I also do it most work days after work too. It’s to stimulate the saliva or something. Also the floss brushes (they have a little handle unlike stereotypical floss) are easier to use for me - can only do front teeth but better than nothing!

Hygienists can appear to be a bit ‘irritated at times, it seems to go with the job tbh and I have just learned to accept that. I don’t care as long as they do a good job which most do. But your actual dentist should not speak to you rudely to the point you feel as upset as you clearly do. I would change dentist in your position to someone with a little more empathy, particularly given your health issues.

They were just telling it how it is.

I don’t floss. But a year or so ago I started using the pointy end of my toothbrush head between my teeth as far as I could and on my gumline and the dentist recently complimented me on my great brushing, which was a first! I’ve found that using a toothbrush - whether manual or my electric one - normally doesn’t clean the gumline or the visible areas between my teeth efficiently now I’m in my 40s, and this really makes a difference.

@PandaWorld is right. The hygienist does speak to me as though I’m a naughty schoolgirl. I pay £22 for the privilege too. They want me to go to the hygienist every three months now.

Can you use interdental brushes? I find them easier than flossing

If you have RA and find flossing difficult then I suggest a water pik. They are great at remove plaque and bacteria beneath the gum line- although if you haven't used one before you'll find it painful and messy to begin with.

He could have said it another way; go find another dentist you will treat you nicer but still be honest about teeth/gum condition.

Some do seem to have a shitty attitude which you dont normally get in other medical professions. Best to develop a thick skin. What matters most is how good of a dentist they are when they're drilling holes in your face.

I have periodontal disease, please listen to their advice. I wish I had and now it's too late I have to live with this forever.
I wish someone had been more firm and honest with me.

You can get that kind of build up of plaque even if you are brushing/flossing etc.

Try Ultradex mouthwash. It's very effective at reducing the overgrowth quickly.

I get you - there are ways of saying things. My teeth were pretty gross by the time I got to a dentist after COVID as I already hadn't been for a couple of years due to a bad experience at my old dentist. I knew I had to do it so went private and went in braced to be made to feel disgusting. They were honest but also kind and understanding. That's what you need.

FWIW I also thought I couldn't floss as my teeth are tight and I was scared of bleeding and so on. They got me into using interdental sticks and explained they would bleed at first but quickly improve, and that was 100% true. I do it every day now and no bleeding.

I go 4x per year now for scale and polish and I'm not scared any more. Teeth are fine as long as I use electric brush 2x a day and sticks 1x a day and they look miles better for having a professional clean 4x a year.

Find a new dentist if possible. Mine is lovely, we both know my teeth aren’t the best ( if they were a vase they’d be almost antique) but he’s never, ever rude.
Have you tried a water flosser? Takes a few goes to get used to them but once you get used to it they’re pleasant to use. I’ve never got on with floss or tape.

Edit. If you buy a water flosser fill it with warm water , not cold, and start on a low setting. Gradually increase the setting. I think I paid about £20-£25 on Amazon for one made in the US.

@AliceMcK Sorry don't mean to dismissed the rest of your post but did you or anyone else notice that you said the nice hygienist was very genital ?? 😆 Of course you meant gentle.

£22?? My hygienist costs £85!!

I'm sorry OP, some dentists seem to think it's perfectly okay to speak to people like that and seem to forget that if everyone had perfect teeth all the time then they'd need a career change!

I've also had health issues over the years and once had a long stint in and out of hospital where I was severely depressed on top of health problems. I had a lot of tartar build up and went to see my dentist once I was recovering. He called me disgusting and told me to get out of his room when I cried! I left and never looked back. Had amazingly understanding dentists since and hope you find a good one too 💐

pandaworld I too have experienced periods of being unable to floss due to RA. I never expected brushing and flossing to be a problem until it was, so I can sympathise. I too would suggest finding a better dentist. My dentist and hygienist have been understanding and done what they can to assist me keeping my teeth in the best possible way. As you know dental hygiene is important to help with inflammation within you overall but you don’t deserve to be made to feel naughty or like you don’t care or try. If you haven’t already I’ve found using an electric toothbrush really helpful when I struggle with flare ups - not always but often it’s helped me at least brush my teeth and curving it round my teeth seems to help a lot.

find another dentist. I LOATHE having my teeth done by the hygenist I find it quite a painful experience. My dentist specialises in nervous patients and result is they do it far more carefully (costs a bit more but I do not go out feeling like I've been told off)

Hmm. I go to my hygienist every 3 months. I'd suggest that.

Plus, you need an electric toothbrush and interdental brushes - they come in all sizes. They are the best for getting for the plaque out. Your hygienist should be advising on this, though?

If they're not, can you change dentist?

how awful for you good to read you are treated much better now.

YANBU, a lot of people have phobia of the dentist... to be spoken to so sternly would certainly make them feel like the trip they worked up to attending was a failure, and put them off going again.
It seems a lot of dentists nowadays treat patients like a nuisance for being there.

I hate flossing, actually find it painful and it sets my teeth on edge for hours. So I don’t do it but I tell the dentist I do and we agree what a difference it makes 🤷‍♀️

This! My dentist told me I needed to get an electric toothbrush. Next time I went she asked if I'd got one, I lied and said yes and she told me she could really tell. Sometimes they're just full of shit OP and want to guilt trip you into spending more money on check ups and the hygienist. I've learnt not to take it to heart.

I put a polite complaint in about my dentist, Bupa but NHS due to her handling something badly ( yes I'm being vague on purpose) I now don't have a dentist at my dentist because I do not trust her, she made an error then wasn't truthful and minimised the situation, the practise manger basically said the dentist work for themselves and passed the buck. I've been at this dentist for a number of years, the amount of dentist and general staff who've left to go somewhere else is unreal . The wait for dentist in my area is years .
I've brushed my teeth the "correct" way I've got a flosser, every size of interdental brushes, a single head brush and electric toothbrush and my toothpaste is over £6, but still have not great teeth, I also had a brace there as an adult ...... What a waste of time money and effort, my front two teeth move so much, I had a back wire put on, it lasted a day before failing due to how much movement there is, I've got a retainer that I was told only had to wear three nights a week , I wear it every night and it hurts due to movement during the day. This is supposedly all my fault.
Apologies this turned into a bit of a rant