Aibu to want to go home

[geekygirldoesnotfitin]

Hi

A friend of mine asked me to go on holiday with her and a few of her friends. I don't know these friends but she begged me saying she really wanted me there. I agreed and paid for my trip.

When I turned up to the airport there were two different groups of her friends. Neither group really know each other but both groups are close friends.

That's fine. I only know my friend who asked me to come but was happy to get to know others.

Since we arrived I have chatted and asked about each person and got on with the holiday. Some of the friends have chatted here and there.

My friend has tended to stick with one group in particular and I haven't had much chance to spend time with her. Again fine with me normal as I don't expect to me joined at the hip.

It's become very obvious that I'm the odd one out. For whatever reason people don't seem to want to engage with me. I have reflected to make sure I haven't said or done anything to hurt or upset anyone and I honestly don't think I have.

Initially it was just them chatting amongst themselves but now they are actively avoiding me.

For eg they were all in the pool chatting so I got in and they got out. When I got out a few minutes later they all got back in.
During conversations I chip in and get ignored. I try to repeat myself but give up joining in as it's obvious I'm an annoyance.
Both groups decided to go to the bar and asked each individual but missed me out.
I'm a bit quieter than most but I do chat and show an interest.

Yesterday I became very unwell unexpectedly and had to lay down in my room for the afternoon. This morning the groups had made plans and I tagged along with one. I ended up walking behind alone as they were walking next to each other and there was no room unless I stepped in the road. When I came down this morning after being in my room poorly no one said hello but when someone else came just after they made a big fuss and had already messaged the person to check they were ok.

I'm a big girl and can accept that people don't like me or don't want me around but it seems the more I go do my own thing the more they are annoyed when I return.

I feel quite alone and confused.

I'm the only one here who is a mum with young dc. I miss my dc and feel like I should try get a flight home early on my own. If I was able to be involved and felt welcome that would be fine but I just can't seem to do the right thing and I'm starting to feel self conscious and a bit upset.

I have a few days left and I'm not sure what to do for the best.

more audacity than temerity

Well it’s a constant thing here. I’ve seen comments and advice given re someone’s situation with their toddler. The comments and advice were so out of date the ‘toddler’ would have been taking GCSEs.

And that still doesn’t mean you were okay to respond in the way you did.

Ooops! Sorry, Matron!
my bad 🤣🤣🤣

I’m thinking of starting a thread on the subject of snarky posters complaining about untimely replies to posts - anyone care to comment?

just make sure you check for updates before you do or the comment monitor will slap your wrists 🤣🤣🤣

Maybe look around and see how it works.

But one tip (if you haven't already done it) is to change the colour of your posts and the OP's which make things clearer

You can also click on 'See next' or See all' on the OP's posts and then you catch up really quickly

Also read a few posts above yours before you post. That sometimes gives you a clue.

Lastly, you don't get a 'welcome' as such on here as MN is so big it isn't a 'group' it's a collection of individuals so there's nothing to welcome you 'to' iyswim

Been done a million times before

And it will go the same way...

🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣

yanbu

But what is the point of responding if you don't actually care if the OP reads it or not? I don't understand wanting to help someone but not looking to see if the thing you are going to say is even relevant.

Hi

Thanks so much to everyone who has commented.

I haven't been back on to update as I was tired when I got home then one on my dc was poorly and kindly passed it to me. I have been working and sleeping and not much else.

I haven't heard from my friend since I have been back.
When she asked if I was ok the night before I left I said yes and that I was just missing my dc. I didn't want to deal with any drama and I had made the decision to go and distance myself anyway.
I will never go on a trip like that again that's for sure.
I'm happy to be back with my family and friends and I have been speaking as normal to my other friends and so feel much better about it all now.
I am going out for dinner tomorrow with a real friend and she invited me simply because she likes spending time together so it made me realise that it's not totally a me problem. My other real friend asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her this morning as she did not know I had been unwell. Being around/communicating with them has been very healing.

Thanks again

So she is getting away with treating you appallingly then. You're far more forgiving than I am. I would have given her both barrels and not held back. What she did was unforgivable.

Hi l am glad that your home with your family and true friends.
Don’t even give them bad girls a second thought between themselves they are probably not real friends anyway.
be happy-

@geekygirldoesnotfitin it can be a horrible realisation that the people we regard as friends see us as simply ‘people I know’. Good that you’re home and your other friends have reminded you what real friendship is.

I wouldn’t reach out to any of the holiday people even if one reaches out to you. They all saw what was happening and chose to remain quiet.

Just read all of this.

Glad your back home happily with your family.

They are horrible.

Glad you're feeling better and meeting up with lovely real friends.

I can understand you not wanting drama, but if this so called friend contacts you again I would tell her the real story of why you left.

I'm stupidly cross on your behalf, what horrible people.

This is your holiday, so make the best of it and blank the women blanking you. You deserve a lovely holiday so read a book, have a treatment, sunbathe. Ignore them. You only get one life, make the most of it.

The OP is now home and meeting up with other friends........

This:

“PreciousMahoney · Today 20:46
Glad you're feeling better and meeting up with lovely real friends.

I can understand you not wanting drama, but if this so called friend contacts you again I would tell her the real story of why you left.

I'm stupidly cross on your behalf, what horrible people.”

Are there any other people around @geekygirldoesnotfitin if there are, try smiling at them or chatting as you queue up for drinks/breakfast etc. If not you have 2 choices,

• stay and entertain yourself (it'll be lonely and you will def know you're beibg left out)
• get a flight home.

If it were me I'd probably go home cos every day is going to be pointedly being left out, right up until you land back home.

Their behaviour not yours, op, esp your alleged friend, wtf!

You on the other hand sound lovely. Here's a big hug x

🤦🏼‍♀️

I would like you to tell her why you left too. People get away with things like this too often and it’s not fair.
i get you probably don’t want to get, but b time please consider it.
For Now enjoy being home surrounded by people who love you.
I wish this had never happened to you, but at least you’ve learnt some people are not worth your time.

That’s what I would do as well - you can relax and enjoy the last few days, hopefully find a good beach read and get some rest.

Take a book, find places to go yourself and see things, find places to eat out yourself. Try and enjoy yourself, but ignore them all.

CANCEL THE CHEQUE