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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that dogs shouldn't be in toilets?

710 replies

LittlePearDrop · 13/07/2024 08:28

I'm currently camping.

There's signs on the toilet / shower block door clearly indicating "No Dogs". Not small signs. Very obvious.

Went for a shower first thing this morning and a woman brought a dog into the toilet next to me. It poked its head under the gap and had a sniff. I just ignored it.

Took my daughter an hour later and whilst I'm waiting for her, another woman brings another dog in. This time, thinking maybe she has missed the sign, I said, very politely and calmly "Oh it's no dogs in here".

She immediately became defensive, saying there's no one else to look after him (there's a fence outside she could have tied him to) and that he would "cry" if left outside. Errm, so what? Dogs whine. It's not the end of the world.

AIBU to think that if the signs say "no dogs" then it means "no dogs" and not, "Well ok your dog can come in because it might whine if left alone for a minute"?

OP posts:
Sethera · 14/07/2024 00:05

Julyshouldbesunny · 13/07/2024 23:55

Would those afraid of ddogs book a campsite that allowed ddogs in the first place??

In my experience, dog-free sites tend to be more expensive than sites that allow dogs (not counting any charge for the dog itself). When our beloved dog died, we did look at dog-free sites for the following holiday, but in the area we holiday, they were all the type of site with entertainment, club houses, pools etc. which we wouldn't use, and which pushes the price up. If you prefer cheaper, basic, peaceful sites you may well find they are all dog-friendly.

Bellsandthistle · 14/07/2024 00:10

What exactly do people think is going to happen if they tie their dog up outside?
That a fellow camper will come along and decide to take your dog in the 5 minutes you’re in there? 😂 Your dog is only that precious to you.

Sethera · 14/07/2024 00:22

Bellsandthistle · 14/07/2024 00:10

What exactly do people think is going to happen if they tie their dog up outside?
That a fellow camper will come along and decide to take your dog in the 5 minutes you’re in there? 😂 Your dog is only that precious to you.

Not really true. It might be so if it's a 'Heinz 57' dog, but if it's a sought-after breed or cross, thefts are a genuine issue.

https://www.directlinegroup.co.uk/en/news/brand-news/2024/dog-theft-on-the-up-in-2023.html#:~:text=New%20research%20from%20Direct%20Line,dogs%20reported%20stolen%20in%202022.

BabySnarkDoDoo · 14/07/2024 00:34

I'd expect dogs to be on a camping holiday, but I wouldn't expect owners to let their dog poke their head under the cubicle door for a sniff though. I have two dogs and never fail to be amazed by the entitlement of other dog owners. I had to untie a little dog on a flexi lead who ran underneath my nervous rescue dog the other day, when my dog was walking by my side minding her own business. The owner was stood just stood there looking confused and waiting for me to find a solution to her dog basically being out of control!

WiddlinDiddlin · 14/07/2024 04:05

Bellsandthistle · 14/07/2024 00:10

What exactly do people think is going to happen if they tie their dog up outside?
That a fellow camper will come along and decide to take your dog in the 5 minutes you’re in there? 😂 Your dog is only that precious to you.

Dog theft is a HUGE thing, not that you'd know if you don't own a dog, but its big business.

Recognisable pedigrees particularly the popular breeds are stolen to be sold, or bred from.
Certain crossbreeds will also be stolen - lurchers for example for illegal hunting and breeding - poodle mixes for breeding or sales.

Some steal dogs to abuse them, use them as bait dogs and all can be stolen in order to ransome back to the owner.

Its a difficult crime to police, as whilst dogs are property, unlike most property they can also run away by themselves, get lost, bolt in a panic etc. Stolen dogs can be the other end of the country in a matter of a day. Too much pressure on known theives and the dogs just end up dead in a ditch somewhere.

A friends lurcher was stolen - and recovered 3 days later, 600 miles away, having been sold at least twice in that time, and from the state of her, someone had tried to work her as well.

Another friends lurcher nicked from over her garden fence - stolen for breeding we think. He was found dead in a hedge two days later, shot in the head, almost certainly because he was neutered and ear-tattooed.

A lovely lurcher I was thinking about adopting was stolen from the rescue kennels two days before I could take him - planned operation that involved at least three people putting out security cameras, cutting gates with bolt cutters, scoping the rescue out in the days/weeks before hand... not an opportunistic theft!

One of my dogs was snatched from outside a shop, I'd left him with a friend who sold the Big Issue (elderly chap and not capable of running after anyone) so I could go in the shopping centre that didn't allow dogs.

As I was heading to the exit doors, a young lad was running my way with my very panicked dog. I am so lucky he came into the shopping centre at that exact moment and obviously had no clue who I was...

Without thinking, I just grabbed the lead off him and started to yell at him to fuck off and he legged it... or I'd never have seen my dog again.

When I got back to my friend the poor guy was in tears asking everyone if they'd seen the lad, could they look, describing my dog and SO relieved I'd got him. The theif had chatted to him for a bit and then without warning shoved him over, snatched the lead and run off!

Dogs are stolen, daily, and from the nicest of places. Cars are broken into to take dogs, houses are broken into to take dogs. Leaving a dog tied up and unattended is just unthinkable these days for any responsible owner.

But even if it weren't - the owner is liable for whatever the dog does. If someone claims my dog bit them or lunged at them or barked at them and made them stumble and fall, even tied up... I am liable, I risk court, fines, dog control orders or even a destruction order on the dog. A dog without its owner, in public, is automatically 'out of control' because the owner is not present and for a dog to be 'dangerously out of control....' they only need to give someone 'reasonable apprehension of injury', they do not actually HAVE to bite someone!

Kids are a huge risk to tied up dogs, and at risk from them - I have lost track of how many times I've seen kids approach a tied up dog and try to hug it, stroke it, kick it, throw things at it or untie it and let it go. I've seen adults do similar things, I've even seen adults TELL their kids to go up to a strange, unattended dog and fuss or hug it.

So yep, if there are only two options - leave my dog somewhere unsafe, unattended, or take my dog somewhere my dog is not really supposed to be, at the potential minor inconvenience to a small number of people, but no actual risk to anyones safety... I know which I'll pick. That doesn't mean I parade my dogs around places they're not allowed, I plan and avoid having to do so on the whole but sometimes life puts you in a position where you have two crappy options and you have to pick one of them.

BogRollBOGOF · 14/07/2024 06:01

I have an autistic child who hates dogs because of the countless approaches from "friendly" out of control dogs that got in his face, jumped up, bowled him over, raided his picnic, snatched sticks out of his hand. All caused by lazy excuses of "dog owners" who half the time weren't in sight, half the time simpered that it was OK and the dog is "fwiendly" and on one memorable occasion had a go at us for taking a child for a walk after his puppy jumped up and winded him making him cry.

Autistic is relevant because his sensory input is intense. His thought patterns are rigid. Right from being in a pram, he's learned from experience that these hairy, slobbery things full of teeth are a threat (at least to the food he was eating). Any progress I've tried to make in calmly behaving around dogs and reducing his fear has been undone by the next unsolicited approach by a dog.

Having a dog nosing under a cubicle door would be very distressing to him. He's trapped in in a vulnerable position and unable to escape or get help.

There are a lot of people with anxiety and OCD issues where public toileting is an issue, and camping may just have been in their comfort zone. Feeling threatened by a dog in an area where you are not expecting them to be can have long lasting consequences. It's the dog owner impacting on other people so their responsibility to follow the rules of the accommodation.

Dogs are a major imposition into a lifestyle. That's why I have no intention of getting one. Well-trained dogs are lovely, but there's far, far too many idiots that don't take full responsibility for their dog and don't consider their impact on others then victim blame for the disruption caused.

LittlePearDrop · 14/07/2024 07:39

Well, having spotted her pitch I can confirm that she is not camping alone.

I can also confirm that she has a car, and the highest temperature all weekend has been 15 degrees as it's been raining.

So she has two other options that don't involve her being an entitled chump.

This morning I saw her take the dog into the shower with her. Where it whined and barked loads.

Starting to think the issue is that she's mentally unwell.

OP posts:
Valeriesimpleton · 14/07/2024 07:59

LittlePearDrop · 14/07/2024 07:39

Well, having spotted her pitch I can confirm that she is not camping alone.

I can also confirm that she has a car, and the highest temperature all weekend has been 15 degrees as it's been raining.

So she has two other options that don't involve her being an entitled chump.

This morning I saw her take the dog into the shower with her. Where it whined and barked loads.

Starting to think the issue is that she's mentally unwell.

Having sounded consistently horrid in your posts, I'm not surprised to read your latest attack on a person who is just getting on with her life and has no idea how angry and bitter she is causing you to be. Go home, you are turning the milk sour.

Tutorpuzzle · 14/07/2024 08:07

Dear god, OP, are you following her?! I know camping is a shit holiday but there must be something better that you can do with your time…surely?

Valeriesimpleton · 14/07/2024 08:13

Stalking a dog in a bog. It sounds like a fab holiday.

(Credit to pp who came up with dog/bog)

KimberleyClark · 14/07/2024 08:22

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 13/07/2024 09:01

Fine in unisex toilets, but a male dog in a female toilet? 😱

It identified as a transbitch probably!

LilBowWow · 14/07/2024 08:23

Cockerpoo in the loo if you’re glamping.

Misthios · 14/07/2024 08:43

Julyshouldbesunny · 13/07/2024 23:19

Hi fellow camper. Can you hold my pooch while I pee?
Cheers mate.
Off you go about your day.

It's not even that - it's "hello fellow camper, i'm going to leave Dog tied up here for 2 secs, can you just keep an eye on it"?

But they don't think to do that because nobody could ever object to THEIR dog, their furbaby, the bestest boy/girl in the world. Everyone should be equally besotted.

And besides, it would mean having to talk to strangers and a large % of MN seems to have huge issues with that.

LilBowWow · 14/07/2024 09:00

Some of people on here would faint clean away at being asked to mind a dog for two minutes.

Good topic for next week’s dog thread though for whoever’s on the rota to start that.

Greenlittecat · 14/07/2024 09:01

WiddlinDiddlin · 14/07/2024 04:05

Dog theft is a HUGE thing, not that you'd know if you don't own a dog, but its big business.

Recognisable pedigrees particularly the popular breeds are stolen to be sold, or bred from.
Certain crossbreeds will also be stolen - lurchers for example for illegal hunting and breeding - poodle mixes for breeding or sales.

Some steal dogs to abuse them, use them as bait dogs and all can be stolen in order to ransome back to the owner.

Its a difficult crime to police, as whilst dogs are property, unlike most property they can also run away by themselves, get lost, bolt in a panic etc. Stolen dogs can be the other end of the country in a matter of a day. Too much pressure on known theives and the dogs just end up dead in a ditch somewhere.

A friends lurcher was stolen - and recovered 3 days later, 600 miles away, having been sold at least twice in that time, and from the state of her, someone had tried to work her as well.

Another friends lurcher nicked from over her garden fence - stolen for breeding we think. He was found dead in a hedge two days later, shot in the head, almost certainly because he was neutered and ear-tattooed.

A lovely lurcher I was thinking about adopting was stolen from the rescue kennels two days before I could take him - planned operation that involved at least three people putting out security cameras, cutting gates with bolt cutters, scoping the rescue out in the days/weeks before hand... not an opportunistic theft!

One of my dogs was snatched from outside a shop, I'd left him with a friend who sold the Big Issue (elderly chap and not capable of running after anyone) so I could go in the shopping centre that didn't allow dogs.

As I was heading to the exit doors, a young lad was running my way with my very panicked dog. I am so lucky he came into the shopping centre at that exact moment and obviously had no clue who I was...

Without thinking, I just grabbed the lead off him and started to yell at him to fuck off and he legged it... or I'd never have seen my dog again.

When I got back to my friend the poor guy was in tears asking everyone if they'd seen the lad, could they look, describing my dog and SO relieved I'd got him. The theif had chatted to him for a bit and then without warning shoved him over, snatched the lead and run off!

Dogs are stolen, daily, and from the nicest of places. Cars are broken into to take dogs, houses are broken into to take dogs. Leaving a dog tied up and unattended is just unthinkable these days for any responsible owner.

But even if it weren't - the owner is liable for whatever the dog does. If someone claims my dog bit them or lunged at them or barked at them and made them stumble and fall, even tied up... I am liable, I risk court, fines, dog control orders or even a destruction order on the dog. A dog without its owner, in public, is automatically 'out of control' because the owner is not present and for a dog to be 'dangerously out of control....' they only need to give someone 'reasonable apprehension of injury', they do not actually HAVE to bite someone!

Kids are a huge risk to tied up dogs, and at risk from them - I have lost track of how many times I've seen kids approach a tied up dog and try to hug it, stroke it, kick it, throw things at it or untie it and let it go. I've seen adults do similar things, I've even seen adults TELL their kids to go up to a strange, unattended dog and fuss or hug it.

So yep, if there are only two options - leave my dog somewhere unsafe, unattended, or take my dog somewhere my dog is not really supposed to be, at the potential minor inconvenience to a small number of people, but no actual risk to anyones safety... I know which I'll pick. That doesn't mean I parade my dogs around places they're not allowed, I plan and avoid having to do so on the whole but sometimes life puts you in a position where you have two crappy options and you have to pick one of them.

That's a lot of words to say you don't think you need to follow rules about where your dog is allowed.

FinalCeleryScheme · 14/07/2024 09:04

A snarling XL Bully the other side of a toilet door might help with stubborn bowel movements.

But no, dogs really have no place in toilets, showers, bathrooms or anywhere else that’s communal. If owners can’t leave them - because the country’s overrun with gangs of hound snatchers and dog fighting rings 🙄 - they should stay at home.

I can’t understand why people limit their lives so much by having dogs. But so long as owners don’t inflict them or their mess on anyone else, it’s their call.

UsualChaos · 14/07/2024 09:04

I would never tie my dog up and leave it unattended. I don't care how ridiculous some people might think that is.

Werweisswohin · 14/07/2024 09:09

Valeriesimpleton · 14/07/2024 07:59

Having sounded consistently horrid in your posts, I'm not surprised to read your latest attack on a person who is just getting on with her life and has no idea how angry and bitter she is causing you to be. Go home, you are turning the milk sour.

Why is that an attack any more than someone taking their dog where anyone with common sense wouldn't take it?

Greenlittecat · 14/07/2024 09:13

I'm wondering how many entitled dog owners would get cross if someone lit up a cig somewhere they weren't supposed to. Or even of they were allowd in a beer garden, but god forbid they were eating their dinner!

fuzzybritches · 14/07/2024 09:14

There are some seriously unhinged people on here and they are not the dog owners.

Werweisswohin · 14/07/2024 09:26

fuzzybritches · 14/07/2024 09:14

There are some seriously unhinged people on here and they are not the dog owners.

There are some seriously unhinged people on here and they are not the entitled dog owners.

BlueGrackle · 14/07/2024 09:26

Valeriesimpleton · 14/07/2024 07:59

Having sounded consistently horrid in your posts, I'm not surprised to read your latest attack on a person who is just getting on with her life and has no idea how angry and bitter she is causing you to be. Go home, you are turning the milk sour.

usernname checks out.

Werweisswohin · 14/07/2024 09:27

UsualChaos · 14/07/2024 09:04

I would never tie my dog up and leave it unattended. I don't care how ridiculous some people might think that is.

Fair enough but it's even more ridiculous to take it into a toilet/shower block.

BlueGrackle · 14/07/2024 09:28

Werweisswohin · 14/07/2024 09:26

There are some seriously unhinged people on here and they are not the entitled dog owners.

On the basis of what please ? I’d say there been some consistently strange posts from certain dog owners that think that a reasonable instruction doesn’t apply to them.
That comment was aimed at fuzzybritches.

Greenlittecat · 14/07/2024 09:33

Werweisswohin · 14/07/2024 09:26

There are some seriously unhinged people on here and they are not the entitled dog owners.

What I don't understand is why very reasonable and absolutely not unhinged dog owners think it's ok to totally disregard a "no dogs" sign because they didn't realise their dog wasn't welcome